Between a bear and a dark place
by Oblivian03
Summary: "Easy there, lad. You're alright," Bofur said as he ran over, dropping the needle he had been holding in favor of holding down the thrashing dwarf on the table. Dwalin nodded in acknowledgement to the toymaker and continued with his task, grimacing as each scream tore through his ears. No slash.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own the Hobbit.**

* * *

><p><strong>So, this is a new story of mine. Those who have read 'Should starlight fade before battle' might recognise it a little, but other than that, I will say no more. ;) Enjoy. <strong>

* * *

><p>"Grab the door. The door!" a gruff voice half yelled, it's tone piercing the cool evening air.<p>

"Oin wasn't home," a second voice informed, "And I couldn't manage to locate his assistant either."

"We'll have to manage ourselves then. We do not have time to race around trying to find them," the first speaker replied, small amounts of an urgent frenzy dripping through the mostly calm exterior of the spoken words.

Bursting through the door, two figures too in their surroundings, the taller of the pair burdened by a third being in his arms.

"Clear the table," Dwalin said, nodding to where a heap of papers laid strewn across a wooden surface.

"But surely Thorin-"

"Thorin will forgive you given the circumstances," Dwalin growled, "Now hurry or we'll lose him."

"Aye," Bofur grunted in submission.

Without another word, the toymaker swept the papers to the floor, clearing the table situated in the main room of the house Thorin Oakenshield shared with his sister and two nephews. Several bowls shattered as they hit the floor, but neither Bofur nor Dwalin flinched at the sound, and it was only moment later that Dwalin finally relinquished his precious burden.

"I need water and a cloth," the warrior barked, a command which Bofur scurried to fulfill. Turning back to Kili, the bald dwarf grimaced at the wounds the youth had sustained. Blood was clotted in some areas and streaming in others, thankfully all wounds having stopped gushing the red liquid as they had been doing previously right before Dwalin had bound the injured dwarf.

Without hesitation, Dwalin pulled out his hunting knife, the strips of cloak knotted too tightly around Kili's arms and torso to undo by hand. Piling the blood-soaked material by his feet on the floor, the seasoned warrior moved onto the brunette's tunic, contemplating what to do for a brief moment before coming to the decision that what was left of the garment was not worth saving. It did not take long for the burly dwarf to cut away the remains of the ruined tunic leaving Kili's chest naked, but no less bloody. In this time Bofur had reappeared by Dwalin's side, laying the cloth and bowl of water he had retrieved on the table by Kili's motionless head.

"How does it look?" he asked, wringing his hands nervously as he did so.

"I need to sew some of these up," Dwalin replied bluntly, not one for stating the obvious or giving comfort when there was none to be found. Bofur swallowed inaudibly.

"I'll see if I can find some needle and thread," he said with a worried glance at the unconscious youth.

"And a candle, and alcohol if you can find any," Dwalin added as he reached for the items the toymaker had brought him, "I will need to run the needle through a flame to clean it." The warrior had been trained enough in piecing his men back together after battle to know that much.

"And the alcohol?"

"Not ideal, but will help clean his wounds," Dwalin replied before lowering his voice to a mutter, "And I fear we may need a drink or two before this is over."

Bofur nodded at his words and moved off, sparing one last glance at Kili as he done so. Dwalin in turn set his face in a look of determination, drenching the cloth he held in the bowl of water before beginning to wipe away at the dried and running blood which had long since turned his arms and most of Kili's upper torso a scarlet red.

As the burly warrior continued with his task, the water in the bowl became darker and darker, and more than once Dwalin was forced to leave the side of his charge in order to change the water. Cleaning Kili's wounds proved to be a hard task for they were extensive, spanning across most of his chest and right arm, as well as tearing through the flesh of the lad's right shoulder and part of his left arm as well. The lacerations were not deep, but the shredded flesh only split more blood of which Dwalin needed to clear away.

"Bofur," the tattooed dwarf called, "Hurry up!"

"Here you go, here you go," the toymaker answered, bustling into the room with all Dwalin had asked for.

"Light the candle and hold the needle over the fire," Dwalin instructed as he took the bottle of alcohol from Bofur and opened it. Taking a deep breath, he poured it over the smallest of Kili's wounds, swearing when the lad jerked and unhinged his mouth in a scream.

"Easy there, lad. You're alright," Bofur said as he ran over, dropping the needle he had been holding in favor of holding down the thrashing dwarf on the table.

Dwalin nodded in acknowledgement to the toymaker and continued with his task, grimacing as each scream tore through his ears. Blood was gushing everywhere again, making both his and Bofur's hands slippery as they tried to keep a struggling Kili flat against the wooden surface he laid on, or at least flat enough so Dwalin did not have so much difficulty in cleaning his wounds out with the alcohol. The task became easier when Kili fell limp as he gave into the darkness surrounding him unable to stand the pain any longer. The young brunette let out the odd moan or two and his face remained twisted in pain, but he made no further sign he was aware of what was happening around him. At this, Dwalin dropped the bottle in his hands and reached out for the needle.

"Where's the thread?" the seasoned warrior asked of the toymaker opposite him. Bofur quickly fished a spool of black thread out from one pocket and placed it in Dwalin's hand.

"Do you need me to, or can you do it yourself?" he asked, his face pale from the sight he had just witnessed.

"I can manage," Dwalin answered, his face a mask of concentration as he squinted in an effort to poke the thread through the eye of the needle in his hand, fingers wiped clean of any excess blood. It took the burly dwarf several tries, but soon the needle was threaded and ready for use.

"Find something to use as bandages," Dwalin half growled to Bofur who was continuing to watch the proceedings with poorly masked nerves. The toymaker immediately dashed off and, free of any distractions, Dwalin began the grim task of closing up the torn flesh of the young dwarf before him.

In and out, through the skin and then through again, it was with a practiced and steadied hand in which the seasoned warrior sewed the youngest nephew of Thorin Oakenshield up. With his face an impenetrable mask, there was nothing to give away the fact that Dwalin's heart was fluttering away madly within his own chest. There was just so much blood on him, the boy before him, and the table upon which the boy laid.

"There's no bandages around here," Bofur called from within one of the other rooms in the house.

"Then tear up a fresh sheet and make sure it's clean," Dwalin barked back, his eyes still fixated upon the task of which his hands were performing.

A sharp groan cut through the empty space of the room and Dwalin swore silently to himself as Kili showed signs of waking yet again, the brunette's eyes flickering rapidly underneath his eyelids. It would be a good sign any other time, but the last thing either him or Bofur needed was to be stuck the youth, for a conscious Kili would mean another reaction to what could almost be described as an irrational pain.

_Mahal, please keep him under if only for a while longer so I can finish patching him up in peace, _Dwalin prayed desperately, speeding up the process of sewing up the wounds that had been dealt to Kili as much as he could without risking a mistake because of his hurrying.

The sound of material being ripped filled the house, almost cutting out another moan which Dwalin could barely hear through the sound of blood rushing in his ears.

"Stay under for a little while longer," Dwalin could hear himself muttering to the brunette who laid before him, "Come on, I need you to not wake until I have finished."

Then, almost like a miracle, he was done.

"Here's the bandages," Bofur said, walking back into the room just as Dwalin was setting aside the needle, "Do you need help?"

"If you could support him," Dwalin replied, grabbing the pile of torn linen from Bofur's arms and, lifting one arm of the still unconscious dwarf before him, began to wind the cloth around the now mostly closed injures. Bofur helped where he could, wrapping up Kili's other, less wounded arm before supporting the youth as Dwalin bandaged his chest and shoulder.

"Leave him here or move him to his room?" Bofur asked, brushing away a few loose strands of hair from his face, smudging drying blood over his forehead in the process not that he cared.

"He might as well be comfortable," Dwalin said in answer and without so much as glancing one another, the two dwarves each took one end of the young brunette and carried him to his bed where they set him gently down.

"We need Oin," Bofur said quietly, breaking the stretch of silence which had begun to fill the room.

"Aye," Dwalin agreed, "We may have stopped the bleeding, but I'm afraid there are a lot more injuries he may have yet suffered, both visible and not."

Bofur frowned, his eyes tracing a line of an already darkening patch of skin with worry.

"Shall I go or you?" he asked, glancing up at the taller dwarf opposite him. Dwalin's face bore a grim look.

"I will," he said in answer, "I can explain what happened better than you can. Watch him."

"Will do," Bofur answered as they both exited the room, Dwalin to find Oin, Bofur to grab a chair.

The toymaker gave Dwalin a clap on the shoulder as the gruff warrior stood in the doorway before disappearing back into the room where Kili now laid. Dwalin shot one last look in the direction of the wounded dwarf and sent a quick prayer to the gods, hoping beyond anything that the young lad would still be breathing upon his return.

* * *

><p><strong>So, are you intrigued yet? Please review.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, 15 reviews for one chapter, and a first chapter at that! How did that happen? In any case, here is the next chapter (though the updates may vary between the time it takes as I will be a lot busier from Thursday onwards). I hope you enjoy it.****  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Bofur sighed, staring at the youth that laid on the bed before him. The toymaker begun to fidget with a loose thread on his tunic before sighing again, leaning back on the chair he sat on as he rubbed his face with his still bloodied hands. Kili did not look good, face pale and slack as the young brunette continued to remain captive to the grip of unconsciousness.<p>

Not for the first time Bofur prayed that Dwalin would hurry up and arrive with the healer.

"You'll be alright, lad, you'll have to," the toymaker said aloud in response to a small moan of agony piercing the otherwise silent air that remained heavy with the scent of fear, sweat and drying blood. Bofur made to take hold of one of Kili's hands, but then withdrew, unsure whether or not the action would cause more pain to the young dwarf. As it was, two of the fingers on Kili's right hand were bent at an awkward angle and a nasty bruise was forming on the back of his left.

Someone would have to inform the lad's family of what had transpired, something which Bofur wanted to avoid for as long as possible even if he was the one lumped with the responsibility which was, in itself, highly unlikely. While both Dis and Fili would be away for at least another week, visiting a town not five days' journey from their own village, Thorin had remained behind with his youngest nephew. The stoic leader was known to be intimidating at the best of times, and where his sister and her sons were concerned, he was overprotective at the best, much like a mother bear was over her cubs.

Bear; it probably wasn't the best comparison given the circumstances.

The creak of a door opening shook Bofur from his worried thoughts. With a glance towards the still motionless and otherwise incapacitated boy on the bed, the toymaker got up from his chair, a small frown upon his face. Dwalin would have announced his arrival loud and clear enough for those on the other side of the mountains to hear. That left few options, most ones Bofur did not like.

"What in Durin's name has happened here?" cried a deep voice, one that had Bofur relaxing his tense grip on the candlestick in his hand, the toymaker relieved those who had just entered were not thieves or other such beings baring similar dark intentions.

Placing the makeshift weapon on a small table near the door, Bofur took a step out of Kili's room bringing himself face to face with Balin and one of the three people he wanted to see the least at that point in time.

"Did you slaughter a pig in here?" Thorin asked incredulously as he gestured to the blood coated table, puddles of the scarlet liquid evident on the floor. Bofur grimaced at the question, his face going from serious to grim in a matter of seconds.

"I wish that were the case," the toymaker answered, none of his usual cheer evident in his bleak words.

"Then what-"

"Kili," Bofur answered in short, cutting Balin off midsentence, "Dwalin has gone to fetch Oin."

Thorin's face immediately drained of all colour leaving his skin ghostly pale. Bofur knew that the dwarf haired dwarf knew that Kili was supposed to be on a hunting trip with Dwalin, so who could blame the dwarfish leader if he was feeling a bit faint over the amount of his nephew's blood that had been spilled.

"Are you alright?" asked Bofur, Balin offering Thorin a chair even as the older dwarf glanced worriedly into the room where Kili laid. Thorin, however, brushed off the other two dwarves, Bofur stepping aside as the clearly rattled dwarf strode past him only to drop to his knees by his unconscious nephew's side.

"What happened?" he asked, voice strangely hoarse. Bofur took a deep breath, stepping back into the room, Balin hovering by his side.

"There was an accident," the toymaker said, his own voice shaky and weak, "And it somehow ended in a bear attack. Dwalin and I managed to stop most of the bleeding, but there is no guarantee that he will survive the next day, let alone the night. He was loosing a lot of blood when Dwalin rode in, and that was before we got here, and if a trained healer does not get here soon…"

"You said my brother was getting Oin," Balin spoke from beside the toymaker. Bofur nodded.

"Dwalin seemed fine when I saw him," he replied, answering the unspoken question the older dwarf had implied, "But there was no way of telling whether the blood that covered him was all Kili's."

"Do you know of the bear?" Thorin asked from where he was still kneeled. Bofur shook his head, worried eyes flashing back to the exiled king.

"I only know what I have already said," he answered, "There was not much time for Dwalin to delve into the details."

Silence flew through the room again, no one wanting to speak least the sound of Kili breathing should fail without them noticing. The small and uneven noise might have, at any other time, meant little to the three dwarves in the room, yet at that moment it was all that showed the young dwarf before them was still clinging to life.

"He's through there," a gruff and slightly breathless voice answered causing three out of four heads to look up in anticipation. They did not have to wait long for only a moment later Oin was pushing his way into the room, Dwalin walking in his wake. Bofur sent a quick prayer of thanks up to the skies, the sight of the old healer sending a much needed wave of relief through him.

"Are you alright?" came Balin's concerned voice as his brother moved past him.

"I am fine," came Dwalin's answer, his tunic and forearms still dark with now dried blood. Bofur noticed droplets of sweat mixing with smears of red on the taller dwarf's forehead, and it was with a fleeting thought the toymaker absently wondered how the seasoned warrior must have looked to passersby as he had run all out to get to Oin.

Bofur chased such thinking from his head, focusing back on what was really important. It was with baited breath that he watched the only healer present observe Kili, making note of the young dwarf's injuries as well as the combined efforts of both Dwalin and Bofur.

"Bear attack you said?" Oin asked as he examined the hoof shaped print on Kili's left hand.

"After his mount threw him and ran off, spooked," Dwalin replied in a loud and clear voice, one that the healer would have no trouble hearing, "I don't know about the fall, but I am sure the pony only got his arm."

"I would agree with that," Oin answered before beginning to unwind the bandages on the arm of the hand he had been holding previously, "Though he has sustained some damage in the fall."

"He was also thrown back by the bear," Dwalin informed, his voice barely masking the worry displayed on his face, a face which usually bore a harsh look if any. Bofur would happily exchange anything to get that look back on the burly dwarf's face if it meant Kili would not be laying so broken on the bed.

"Will he be alright?" the toymaker heard himself ask, a question he had thought would have already been voiced by Thorin, but the dark haired dwarf seemed to shocked to say or do much of anything save stare at the face of his youngest nephew.

"I cannot say for certain," Oin answered, "Not at least, until I have checked all his wounds." The healer then turned to Dwalin. "This is your work, is it not?" he asked, gesturing to stiches in Kili's arm. Dwalin nodded.

"Aye, and I was sure to clean the wound with both water and alcohol first," the bald dwarf answered. Oin grunted in acknowledgement.

"Crude, but it will do," he said as he unwrapped the rest of the makeshift bandages.

It was some time before the healer was finished, and by then Bofur's nerves were more on edge than he had ever remembered them being. Oin's face gave away nothing, a blank mask of concentration as he continued to look over his patient, clicking his tongue every now and then in thought. The grey bearded dwarf had barely finished splinting Kili's two clearly broken fingers when Thorin uttered his first words in a long while.

"How is he?"

Oin sighed at the question, not one to lie, but clearly not wanting to say the truth of the matter. Bofur's heart began to race faster at the look on the healer's face.

"The wounds he received are mostly flesh wounds," Oin said in answer to Thorin's question, "He does have two broken fingers, but the hand where the pony trod is only bruise as are his ribs. That is not to say, however, that the boy is out of the woods."

Bofur swallowed drily at this news, closing his eyes for a moment before reopening them to stare down at the unconscious brunette as he continued to listen to Oin.

"There is a very good chance Kili will succumb to fever; whether it will become high enough to threaten his life I do not know, but it would be best to try to avoid such a situation as much as we can," the healer continued, "Likewise with infection. With luck, his wounds will not become infected, but in a case like this, I would leave nothing to luck. The amount of blood he lost, judging from the table in the next room and both Dwalin and Bofur, is worrying enough and I fear he will not regain consciousness for some time, certainly not tomorrow in any case."

Oin began to rattle off a list of instructions to Thorin, instructions which Bofur listened carefully too. The toymaker wanted to help out all he could, especially since he knew that Thorin had duties other than his nephew to attend to. Oin eventually finished speaking and stepped out of the room to prepare several brews for when Kili did wake. Balin observed the scene with a grim look before nodding his head to Thorin.

"I will return tomorrow or the day after to collect those papers," he said in as kindly a voice as he could manage before bidding goodbye to the occupants of the room and exiting.

"I should return with my brother," Dwalin said soon after, not moving a muscle as he spoke, "It is late and I am sure you want to be alone."

Thorin nodded to his friend and then Dwalin too was gone, but not before leaning down to murmur a few inaudible words to Kili. Bofur found he was the only one left in the room aside from Thorin and his nephew.

"I think I'll remain, if it's all the same to you," the toymaker said, "You and Oin may need an extra pair of hands at some stage, ad my house is located on the other side of town. It is far too dark for my liking to go there now. I'll be in the other room with Oin, I'll clean up a little as well."

"Thank you," Thorin managed to mumble, shooting a grateful glance in the direction of the toymaker. Bofur, in turn, managed a small smile back in the direction of Kili's uncle.

"I'm sure he will be fine," he heard himself saying, "He is strong and stubborn."

"We will have to hope so," Thorin replied softly, stroking the brown hair splayed out on the cushion before him tenderly.

Bofur took his leave at that moment, giving the dark haired dwarf a much needed moment alone with his youngest nephew. Closing the door partially behind him so it was still easy to access, the toymaker sighed before gathering up a bowl of water and a cloth.

"These stains aren't going to clean themselves," Bofur informed himself softly, trying to muster up the motivation to get to work cleaning the blood from earlier on, but soon found he could not.

"Do you think he will be alright?" he asked as Oin drifted past. The old healer merely sighed.

"We can only hope," he replied, "We can only hope."

* * *

><p><strong>Is it too much to ask for a review?<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**I have decided that Kili is around the age of 16 in human years (don't ask for that in dwarf years ;). Anyway, here is another chapter for you, and thanks for all the reviews. I am glad you all find this story interesting.**

* * *

><p>Dwalin stared at his hands knowing he should wash them yet unable to force his body to cooperate and his mind to focus. The blood on his hands was Kili's, a dwarf who was still a boy, though he was admittedly nearing adulthood with every passing year. Never the less, Kili was a youth Dwalin had sworn to protect, at least while the young brunette was within his vicinity. Then he had decided to take the lad hunting and look at what had come from that.<p>

"Are you alright?" a soft voice asked from behind him.

Dwalin merely grunted, finally plunging his hands into the basin of lukewarm water before him. Tendrils of red began to swirl off his hands, darkening the water and reminding the seasoned warrior of the same red blood running down Kili's arms and chest, the same red which had sent his mind reeling.

"Do you want some help?" the voice behind him questioned. Dwalin frowned but did not turn around.

"I do not need you help to wash, brother," he said in a tone a fraction harsher than he intended for it to be. Balin, however, took this all in good stead.

"You are upset," the older dwarf said much to Dwalin's exasperation.

"Can you not just leave me be?" he snapped, the worry and guilt fueling his frustration. Balin somehow knew this and merely heaved a sigh, settling himself into a more permanent position behind his brother.

"It was not your fault," the white bearded dwarf said. Dwalin maintained his frown. Sometimes his brother knew him too well.

"I was meant to be watching out for him," Dwalin answered, bringing his hands up to splash water onto his arms, the mix of water and blood running down his skin and back into the bowl.

"You managed to save him from the bear," Balin replied, "Is that not enough?"

"I should have killed the beast," Dwalin growled, knuckles turning white as he gripped the basin with strong hands.

"So the bear is not dead?" Balin sounded almost shocked.

"Unfortunately no," his younger brother answered, the bald dwarf glaring stonily ahead into nothing, "I managed to drive it off and might have pursued if Kili had not been bleeding all over the ground and in extreme pain."

Dwalin could almost feel his brother thinking behind him, the older dwarf mulling over thoughts only known to him. Dwalin himself was deep in thought, thinking of the numerous ways he could have somehow prevented such a situation, let alone the outcome of it. However, as long a period of time the burly dwarf thought, nothing came to mind. The simple answer to Dwalin's inability to find a solution was that Kili, no matter how skilled he was in certain areas, attracted trouble and usually the worst of it. The young brunette had been visited by healers more time than his brother who was five years older than him. He also had a reputation for receiving all kinds of injuries which more often than not saw him locked up inside a house for days at a time. There was only one way to describe a being with such a tendency to get hurt; reckless. This was why Dwalin refused to accept that he was not to blame for the situation, refused to accept the fact that it was just in Kili's nature to get hurt. With the way the world was, the youth would one day find himself in battle where it was widely known that those with a streak of recklessness were the first to go. Dwalin was afraid that such a fate would meet the youngest of the line of Durin, and it was because of this that he burdened himself with guilt he need not have borne.

"You're brooding, brother."

Balin's voice startled Dwalin who had been so deep in his own thoughts he had forgotten the other dwarf was behind him.

"I am merely thinking," the tattooed dwarf replied, glancing down at the basin before him only to find that the water needed changing. It was not surprising. There had been a lot of blood.

"No," Balin argued, "You are brooding. I know you well enough to know when you are upset, brother. Sometimes I think you forget I have known you all your life."

Dwalin had no answer to this, nothing to say to his brother to prove that he was wrong. Instead the bald warrior took up the bowl before him and threw its contents into a bucket by his feet before grabbing a nearby pitcher and filling it again. He allowed the simple task of cleansing himself of Kili's blood to overtake him, to lull himself into an otherwise thoughtless state. Dwalin knew he would need to bathe, but it was too late a time to do so meaning he would have to wait until morning. For now, however, the tall dwarf would do what he could if only to try and eliminate the memories of recent events. By the time he was done, Balin had long since disappeared to some other place within the house.

Dwalin was glad to be alone; it gave him time to think, time to gather himself after being shaken so badly. As the seasoned warrior emptied the basin of bloody water into the bucket for the last time he tried to remember the last time he had been so afraid. He hadn't been for a long time in any case, that much Dwalin knew, and certainly not so afraid that someone he knew might not make it.

The tattooed dwarf set the basin down by the now empty pitcher before drying his upper half and grabbing the fresh tunic his brother had no doubt left him. Pulling on the clean garment, Dwalin allowed it to fall loosely past the waistband of his trousers, rolling the sleeves up to give his arms a small amount of freedom. The cold air of the night grasped at the dwarf's exposed skin, but Dwalin found it refreshing, the bite of the air awaking his senses more than anything. He wanted to sleep, to let the terrible day fade away until it was nothing more than a bad dream.

Walking out of the room, Dwalin made for his own bed drifting past the chairs by the fireplace in the process.

"Are you hurt?" Balin asked from where he sat hidden, the worry evident in his voice causing the white bearded dwarf's younger brother to pause, if only for a moment.

"I am not," Dwalin replied with only the slightest of hesitations. It was not a lie.

"Would you tell me if you were?"

"Brother, I am fine," Dwalin insisted, turning so that he could catch a glimpse of the back of Balin's head.

"You were attacked by a bear, Dwalin," the older of the two brother's replied, desperation ringing clear in his voice, "You could not have walked away from that unscathed."

"No," Dwalin disagreed, "Kili was attacked by a bear. I merely leapt to his defence."

"_Are you hurt?"_

Dwalin sighed, knowing there was only one way he would be able to reassure his brother.

"Balin, I am fine," he said as he crouched down beside the chair where his elder brother sat, "You can even look for yourself. The bear did not harm me and nor did anything else out there. The only injuries I might have sustained would be one or two bruises from where Kili struck me as Bofur and I were tending to his wounds, and I do not blame the lad for he was in extreme pain and did not comprehend what we were doing."

"Let me…let me see," Balin said, stumbling over his trembling words. Dwalin gave his brother a reassuring smile before tugging his tunic over his head for a second time that night.

The light from the fireplace illuminated Dwalin's naked skin, Balin running his old hands over his younger brother's chest in search of wounds the latter might have been hiding. When the older of the two was certain Dwalin was not injured in any manner he let out a small gasp of relieved air.

"See, brother," Dwalin said softly as he replaced the tunic he had been holding in his hands, "I am fine. There is no need for you to worry over me."

"There is always a need," Balin replied weakly, grasping Dwalin's face between his hands and looking down upon the kneeling dwarf, "You are my younger brother and it is my duty to look out for you."

"I can take care of myself," Dwalin replied gently, bringing up his hands to cover Balin's own, "You will not lose me so easily."

"I do not want to lose you at all," Balin answered.

The older dwarf's words faded into the air, leaving only the sound of a crackling fire in its wake. Dwalin kept his hands on his brother's, moving to press his forehead to Balin's. Both dwarves sat there for a long while, unmoving as they shared the quiet and brotherly moment. Their relationship ran deep roots, roots which would be nigh impossible to destroy or corrupt, if at all. Bonded in blood the two brothers felt what each other felt and knew what the other thought. This night was no different and it was the concern which Balin soon voiced was a concern that plagued the both of them.

"There have been few bear attacks in my life time," the white bearded dwarf began to state, "And they are widely known not to end well more often than not."

"Kili is stronger than most," Dwalin replied, trying to reassure himself and his brother with the same words, "And even if he is to leave, he will not do so without his brother by his side. Fili would not allow it."

"Fili is not here to ensure that," Balin countered.

"But Thorin is," Dwalin answered, "And he would sooner face the Defiler again than allow his nephew to slip through his fingers before his time.

"That may not be enough though," Balin argued, a crease born of worry and fear furrowing his eyebrows, "If fever were to set in and infection-"

"Then we will have to hope that will not be the case," Dwalin answered, his expression one of grim seriousness. Balin sighed in response, finally pulling entirely away from his brother.

"You should get some sleep," he said, "And with luck, the poor lad will still be with us in the morning."

Dwalin contained a yawn.

"Aye, a sleep would do me good," the tattooed dwarf replied before standing and bidding a good night to his brother. He would stop by Thorin's house in the morning, but until then he supposed he should take his brother's advice and rest.

* * *

><p><strong>So, what do you <strong>**think? (More Kili next chapter, I promise ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the long update, but there is a chance it could get worse. I don't have as much time to write now so I hope my chapters make up for it. So I hope you enjoy this one.**

* * *

><p>Despite the events which had taken place only the night before, the morning of a new day came soon enough. To Bofur, however, the dawn was far from swift and it was only after hours of worry and sleeplessness that he greeted the first light with reddened eyes and a mouth turned down at the corners.<p>

The toymaker was in a fresh tunic, Thorin having left Kili's side only once to offer the garment for Bofur to use in place of the bloodstained tunic he had been wearing. His hands and arms were clear of the blood which had covered them the night before and it was with a strong sense of relief that Bofur relished in being clean again. Everything didn't look as dire when one wasn't covered in the scarlet life force of another.

The table upon which Kili had been laying upon before was also clean, no longer presenting a sight that would send whoever walked in through the door into shock. This was Bofur's doing, something which he was proud of. Having cleaned up the room in Thorin's house had meant the toymaker had no chance to sleep, however, and it was with bleary eyes that Bofur glanced up at Oin as he made his slow way out of the room which hosted Kili.

"How is he?" the toymaker asked, stretching his arms and legs as he lifted himself from the chair upon which he had been sitting for the last hour. Oin merely sighed, his look as despondent as ever.

"Fever has set in," the healer replied, his voice weary from the task of tending to the youngest of the line of Durin.

"What? Already?" Bofur found himself exclaiming in disbelief, all thoughts of his own tiredness gone. Oin merely shook his head.

"It is not all that surprising," the grey bearded healer answered, "In fact, it took a while longer to appear than I expected."

"What can I do to help?" Bofur asked, glancing towards the open door through which he could catch a small glimpse of a still unconscious Kili and the bowed figure of Thorin by the youth's side. The lad's uncle had hardly left his side since he had first learned of Kili's predicament, and what was more was that the dwarfish leader had made it clear that he would not be leaving his youngest nephew's side until the boy's eyes were at least open.

"There is not much you or even I can do," Oin said in a tired voice, bringing Bofur's attention back to him, "All we can do is try to keep the fever down and ensure that none of his wounds become infected. I cannot force the lad to drink anything that might help with him still unconscious for he might choke, and neither can I perform miracles."

"We may soon be in need of a miracle if Kili's condition turns out to be as bad as you make it out to be," Bofur muttered under his breath causing Oin to raise one eyebrow before relenting to the toymaker's words.

"I fear you may be right," the healer said bleakly as he drifted to the table where his bowl and pestle lay waiting. Bofur withheld a sigh and took the bowl of water from were the healer had placed it.

"Do you want me to-" he began, but Oin cut him off before the toymaker could finish, not that there was any need.

"That would be a great help," the healer replied as he sat down and begun grinding away at various herbs again.

Bofur gave the healer a nod of acknowledgement before taking up a cloth and entering the room of the invalid. Thorin looked up from where he sat, bleary eyed but still refusing any offers of sleep both Oin and Bofur made him. The dwarfish leader gave the toymaker a grim twist of the lips before turning back to where his youngest nephew laid motionless on the bed, the single sheet covering him already sticky with sweat.

Bofur sat down without much fuss, balancing the bowl on his knee as he dragged the cloth in his hand through the water and then across Kili's heated forehead. The silence in the room was almost deafening, the dwarf opposite the toymaker clearly willing Kili to open his eyes. Bofur was doing his own private willing as well, willing the fever to break though it had only just begun. The young dwarf between the two adults did not respond to either of the things willed of him and remained as shut eyed and fever ridden as before.

"It is a hard fight I fear we have ahead of us," Bofur remarked, finally unable to withstand the silence any longer. Thorin merely grunted, stroking the back of his nephew's right hand as his smoky grey-blue eyes roved around the battered body of the young brunette.

"But is he strong enough to make it?" came Thorin's uncharacteristically soft voice, "If he should fall to fever or infection…"

The dwarfish leader never finished his sentence, but the words to end it did not need to be spoken. Bofur knew of the ways Kili's predicament could play out, both bad and good. He also had some idea as to how the lad's family would react to his passing. As the toymaker passed the drenched cloth in his hand over the brow of the invalid yet again he glanced down to where the white bandages stood out against Kili's skin.

Bofur remembered all too well the terrible night which had preceded the dawn; he had never felt as terrified in his life as when Dwalin had rode in on his mount, blood everywhere as he supported Kili whose face had been unnaturally slack and pale. When Dwalin had half shouted at him to bring Oin to Thorin's house the toymaker had not hesitated to obey, racing as fast as he could to the healer's house using alleys and shortcuts he would have otherwise avoided. Bofur had ended up out of breath and banging hard on Oin's door only to be informed that both he and his assistant were out seeing patients.

The usually cheery toymaker had weighed up the decision of pursuing Oin, but the image of Kili had refused to leave his mind and it was without a second thought that Bofur had spent the rest of his energy making his way swiftly to the house of Thorin Oakenshield in order to offer his help to Dwalin. Upon reaching the house, the toymaker had been just in time to see Dwalin about to enter, an unconscious and wounded Kili cradled carefully in his arms. It was a sight that had thrilled Bofur in all the wrong ways, terror having flashed through him as well as panic.

The emotions he had felt before were beginning to well up again in the face of his hopelessness to help the young dwarf now laying on the bed before him. Wiping Kili's brow appeared to be achieving nothing and frustration was beginning to rear its ugly head as Bofur wished that someone could just turn up and magic the young lad's ailments away.

A knock on the door had the toymaker raising his head in curiosity, wondering who it could be at this early hour. Thorin saw this and reached out his hands to take the bowl and cloth from the dwarf before him.

"I can take over," the dwarfish leader said. Bofur nodded in understanding and stood, leaving the room after handing over the objects he held to Thorin.

It was with a small frown of interest that the toymaker stared as the door opened to reveal the intimidating form of Dwalin and the smaller form of the tall dwarf's older brother.

"How is the lad?" Balin asked as he entered through the door first, his worried gaze straying to the open door Bofur had just come through and the room beyond.

"Not good," Oin answered before entering the room where Kili laid in an unnatural state.

"How so?" Dwalin growled, not liking the broadness of the old healer's answer. Bofur too felt annoyed at Oin, not liking that he had been left to deliver the news.

"Fever," the toymaker managed to mumble, watching the faces of the two brother's before him blanch white at the news.

"When?" was all Balin could say.

"Dawn," Bofur replied with some reluctance, "Or thereabouts."

"It will only grow worse," Balin said, rubbing his face with his hands.

Bofur had no words of optimism to follow up the older dwarf's statement. There was nothing he could say that had even the slightest chance of lightening the dark and bleak atmosphere that had settled over the house of the line of Durin. The toymaker who was expected to see the light. He was the one who was supposed to see the silver lining of the blanket of blackened clouds rolling over them, yet he was speechless, voiceless against such a seemingly hopeless cause. If not even Bofur could think up something to say, it was a surprise when the dwarf who spoke the least was the one who spoke to break the grim silence which had fallen swiftly with Balin's last words.

"But it has not," Dwalin said in response to his brother, "It has not grown worse yet. There is still hope he will survive this."

A moan broke free of the room behind the three and Bofur, Dwalin and Balin all turned to see the covers on Kili's bed toss around as the youth beneath them shifted position. Bofur was first through the door, both Oin and Thorin looking up to read the unspoken question in the toymaker's eyes.

"I'm afraid he still has not woken," Oin said as Thorin went back to dabbing his nephew's fevered forehead. The three dwarves in the doorway exhaled previously anticipating breaths with disappointment.

"Then what was that earlier?" Dwalin asked, his dark eyebrows furrowing together, his earlier optimistic mood turning sour as the short bout of hope they had all felt was crushed.

"He's in pain," the healer replied.

"Then give him something for it!"

"I can't," Oin snapped back. Bofur turned his head back to Dwalin to wait for the warrior's response only to see the bald dwarf take a deep breath and a step back as Balin laid a calm hand on his arm.

The white bearded dwarf guided his younger brother out of the room leaving only Oin, Thorin and Bofur in the vicinity of the unconscious Kili. The toymaker looked after the pair who had just left before looking down at his feet.

He had been at Thorin's house since the early evening of yesterday when Dwalin had turned up with a wounded Kili in tow, as well as the morning that was coming to a close even as he stood and thought about his options. Bifur would be worrying, as would Bombur for every moment he delayed in returning, yet Bofur could not, in good conscience, leave the house when Kili still remained in a bad way and was steadily growing worse for it seemed that the lad's fever was rising.

"You should go," Thorin said, the deep tones of his voice vibrating through the air as he took notice of Bofur's inner conflict.

"You will tell me if anything changes?" the toymaker asked, his hazel eyes flashing with concern and a desperate plea. Thorin nodded, his own blue-grey eyes filled with a deep and haunting despair.

With a sigh, Bofur sent one last glance in the direction of the bed, watching as Oin inspected the bandages of the boy who laid upon it. He gave a small consoling smile in the direction of Thorin before turning his back upon the scene before him and walking to the door leading out of the house, nodding to both Dwalin and Balin as he left.

"Look after him," he murmured quietly. Dwalin replied with a solemn look.

"We will."

* * *

><p><strong>Would it be too much to ask for a review?<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Got this up earlier than expected... In any case, enjoy. And thanks for all the reviews - past 50 already and for four chapters!**

* * *

><p>Dwalin watched as the door shut close behind the retreating form of the toymaker. The warrior's last words to Bofur hung in the air, the short phrase a binding promise to which Dwalin had made binding for both him and his brother.<p>

_We will._

"I need to speak to Thorin," Dwalin heard Balin say beside him. The tall warrior looked down on his older brother.

"I doubt you will be able to draw him away from Kili's side," Dwalin commented, a grim look upon his face.

"It would only be for a brief moment or two," Balin admonished, "And I need the documents for which I came here for yesterday. Thorin also needs to decide how he will inform both Fili and Dis on what has occurred to their youngest kin as well."

Dwalin rubbed his face with a hand for he had forgotten the issue of Kili's two remaining family members who were still in the dark about the bear attack. The pair were still not due back for a while and in that while anything could happen, something which Dwalin was increasingly fearful of. Again guilt flooded the tattooed dwarf's mind at having not protected his young charge better, but Dwalin quickly brushed the feeling aside, focusing back on his brother.

"You were always better at reasoning with him," Dwalin said gruffly, crossing his arms as he did so. Balin sent him a withering glance knowing that his younger sibling has purposely pushed the task of dragging Thorin away from his nephew's bedside on purpose.

"He needs a break from that room in any case," Balin muttered under his breath before directing his next words at his brother, "Don't go anywhere."

"Wasn't planning on it," Dwalin responded, his words going unheard as his brother disappeared into the room of the injured in order to draw Thorin out.

The seasoned warrior dropped heavily into a seat by the table which had so recently witnessed Dwalin's efforts to save the life of his friend's youngest nephew first hand. Dis would not be pleased that he had allowed such harm to come to her youngest son, she would be outraged even and rightly so. If Dwalin were in Dis' place, he would be livid with himself, but Dis was still travelling and would not be back to cast judgment for some time.

"I left the papers on the table," Thorin said, the dwarfish leader's words floating to Dwalin in the warrior's state of detachment from the world surrounding him.

"They are not there," Balin answered causing Dwalin to snap his head up.

"I left them on the table yesterday and have not touched them since," Thorin replied as Dwalin silently took in the sight before him and the conversation going on between his brother and his friend.

Both Balin and Thorin were crossing the room towards him from the doorway they had just exited, Dwalin's brother having somehow managed to wrangle Thorin out of the room. Balin was making to reply to Thorin's last statement when both dwarves froze, all words halting in their mouths as the pair stared ahead of them. Dwalin followed the gaze of the two dwarves to the table and then to the floor. He then turned back to his brother and Thorin, deciding to jump in before something snapped in either one or both of them at the pile of bloodied papers on the floor.

"We had to move them to make room," Dwalin explained a little sheepishly as he watched Thorin closely, the dwarfish leader's face frozen in a blank expression, all colour having faded rom his face.

Balin took two swift steps over to the stained red documents on the floor, sweeping up a few before shaking his head as eh realized he could not save the written work.

"Never mind," the white bearded dwarf said as he crumpled the sheets of paper in his hands, "I do not need them urgently as of yet."

Thorin did not seem to hear the old dwarf's words and Dwalin quickly guided his friend into a chair as the dark haired dwarf began to collapse in on himself.

"Tell me how it happened," Thorin said beseechingly to the tattooed dwarf as he dropped his head to his hands in despair. Dwalin looked to his brother for guidance, not wanting to depart the horrific incident to anyone, let alone Thorin, but Balin too looked curious and at an encouraging nod from the white bearded dwarf Dwalin took in a breath to begin his tale.

"There was a deer," the seasoned warrior said, mentally readying himself for the memories that would no doubt assault him as he parted with them, "Kili had his bow drawn, ready to shoot it. His pony caught scent of the bear which we could not see at the time and bucked, throwing the lad and causing him to loose his grip on the string of the bow. The arrow went flying into the bushes where the bear was lurking."

The faces of the two dwarves opposite Dwalin blanched stark white, both knowing that such a shot would have enraged the bear, and to enrage a bear was to have a death wish. A mass of almost unstoppable flesh, a single adult bear could tower over a man. To a dwarf, they were giants to be avoided at all costs.

"Kili was winded from landing on the ground and the pony had skimmed over his hand with a hoof," Dwalin continued, his voice now noticeably shaking as he unconsciously clenched his hands at the thought of the attack, "He…he barely had time to stand before the bear was upon him. It caught him in the chest with a paw, throwing him back where it proceeded to tear into Kili's arms which he had thrown up to protect his face. It happened so fast; by the time I had opened a large gash in the beast's flank your nephew was already lying on the ground in a pool of his own blood."

Dwalin was now speaking directly to Thorin as though trying to both put up a defence and apologise for his actions and the fact that he had let something so bad happen to the dwarfish leader's youngest kin.

"The bear retreated when it became clear that killing the boy would not be as easy as he had thought," the seasoned warrior said without the vicious relish that would have usually accompanied his words at the talk of defeating an enemy, and as soon as he had finished his last sentence, Dwalin let silence claim his tongue.

Thorin sat bolt upright in the chair he was seated in, every possible look of horror and dismay fighting for a place upon his face. Balin stood beside the dark haired dwarf, his own face unreadable as his eyes looked frozen in Dwalin's direction. Dwalin allowed his usually strong shoulders to crumple and sag, the guilt he had pushed away earlier now running rabid in his mind.

"I am sorry," he breathed softly, still speaking only to his old friend, "So sorry." This seemed to shock Thorin out of his state of incomprehension and a frown found its way onto the dwarfish leader's face.

"What are you sorry for?" he asked sounding genuinely confused. Dwalin avoided the dwarf's smoky blue eyes as Thorin tried to determine what it was exactly that the warrior was apologising for.

"Had I seen the bear, realized it was there…" Dwalin managed to get out, fumbling for words as he tried to find a way to explain his guilt, explain why exactly Thorin should be mad at him.

"It wasn't your fault, brother," Balin cut in before Dwalin could voice more of his apparent faults in handling the situation, "I have told you this before."

"I was supposed to be watching out for him," Dwalin argued, eyes still locked on the floor by his feet, "He was under my care and therefore my responsibility."

"You could not have anticipated a bear attack," Thorin spoke up in an effort to cut through his friend's self imposed misery, "And Kili has always been one to attract trouble. It is not your fault and nor do I blame you for what has happened."

"But-"

"I do not blame you," Thorin repeated, crouching opposite Dwalin and pressing his forehead to the warrior's.

"Dis will though," Dwalin muttered despondently.

"That remains to be seen," the tattooed dwarf's brother said sharply from above, "And on that note, it also remains to be seen whether or not Dis and Fili will be told of what has happened."

Thorin stood at this last part at the same time Dwalin raised his head. The three dwarves present knew that Kili's mother and brother needed to be informed of all that had befallen him, yet they were most likely travelling even as the thought entered Balin, Dwalin and Thorin's mind and so would be almost impossible to reach. As it was, it was still a decision Thorin had to make.

"They will be told once they return," the dark haired dwarf finally stated. Balin frowned and Dwalin closed his eyes for a brief moment, hoping his brother was not about to argue with Thorin's decision. There was enough drama going on in his life as it was without the need for his older brother and his friend to argue.

"You cannot just leave them in the dark about this," Balin insisted, his voice rising slightly with the passion of which laced his words.

"It would be impossible to reach them now," Thorin countered, his face darkening as his temper began to brush its fingers against his mind, "They would have left the village by now and have at least a four day journey ahead of them. How do you suppose I contact them?"

"Have someone ride out and meet them halfway," Balin suggested.

"And if they take a different rout?" Thorin asked, "No, they will be informed upon their return as soon as they set foot inside the gates."

"As you wish," Balin said, finally backing down much to Dwalin's relief.

The seasoned warrior was glad that the two had stopped arguing and he allowed himself to exhale the breath he had been holding silently. His brother's next words, however, sent a cold and dark chord ringing through the Dwalin's mind.

"It may be too late by then," Balin said softly. Thorin's head bowed low as an iron fist squeezed Dwalin's heart.

"I know," the dwarfish leader said, "I know."

* * *

><p><strong>A review or two might help to secure a certain dwarf's fate... Then again, they might not. ;) Either way, could you please review. <strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**So, thanks to all my lovely reviewers. :) Seriously, you are too good to me to give me so many. In any case, as a reward, here is the next chapter which I hope you enjoy because it is painful having to find words in Khuduzl that make sense when in a sentence. I was also issued a challenge by Aloritha to see how much angst I could fit in before Fili and Dis come and it is a challenge I plan to win (though this chapter may not show that future ones definitely will) ;)**

* * *

><p>"Where have you been?" Bombur asked, his voice coloured with more than just worry and concern.<p>

"Before you condemn me brother," Bofur answered, scraping his boots against the mat on the floor before moving inside the house, "You should hear what I have to say."

"I take it you have a story then," Bombur replied, arms crossed over his chest, the round dwarf clearly not happy with his brother.

It was to Bombur's shock that the dwarf in front of him did not respond with a cheery grin and the beginnings of a tale that stood taller than it did true. Instead the toymaker leaned against the wall, curling in on himself as he sighed despondently.

"Dwalin and Kili returned from their hunting trip on the yesterday just as it was beginning to grow dark," Bofur said in a voice that betrayed his tiredness and despondent state of mind, "There was an accident…"

"What happened?" Bombur inquired, his eyebrows now furrowing out of concern and not anger. Bifur appeared like a shadow behind the round dwarf, his own face impassive as he listened to what his cousin had to say.

"All Dwalin said was that Kili had been attacked," Bofur informed the two dwarves, clearly not wanting to go on.

"By what?" Bombur gasped. His brother hesitated for a long moment before finally gathering himself to answer the question.

"A bear," Bofur elaborated, eyes closing at the memory of the state Dwalin had brought the young lad in, "He lost a lot of blood, a fever has set upon him and he refuses to wake. He may not survive to see the end of this day let alone the return of his brother and mother."

The toymaker was a cheery dwarf by nature and could be accurately described as someone who looked on the bright side of everything. It took a lot to upset him and even more to send the brown eyed dwarf into a state of despair much like the one he was experiencing now, and yet now here he was, unable to see an end to the pitch black tunnel that Bofur had suddenly found himself in.

Bofur knew that this side of him disturbed his brother greatly, yet he could not help it. If life was as cruel to everyone as it was to Kili, a boy who had far from lived his life and had a sunny disposition that Bofur had instantly fell for then what was to say he or Bombur or Bifur wouldn't be next?

"It surely can't be as bad as you are making it put," Bombur put in, his voice hesitant, yet Bofur knew he was not blowing the situation out of proportion.

"Kili vusut gagin," Bifur said in his gruff voice as he moved to pat Bofur on the shoulder, "Zu lu' tarukh achùshum. Amagur lu' zatamarad Kili. Zu tarukh mahdijnû hi."

"You're right," Bofur responded, drawing in a shuddering breath as he regained control of his overflowing emotions, "He still lives. There is still hope while he still lives."

"You should eat something," Bombur broke in, disappearing into the kitchen.

Bofur felt his stomach growl at the thought of food. The toymaker realised he had not eaten since noon the day before, having been travelling back to his house to have dinner. It was just past midday now meaning he had gone a full day without food.

"I'm starving," the toymaker said out loud to the air around him, his cousin smiling at the statement as he guided Bofur into the kitchen after Bombur.

"Then sit, brother, and eat," Bombur called from where he stood. Bofur grinned at him.

"Should I be surprised you have not devoured everything in the pantry yet?"

"I get enough at home," Bombur replied stiffly, "And besides, I doubt you have eaten in a while."

Bofur's stomach rumbled again, reminding the toymaker of his skipped meals. His brother was a good cook when he didn't eat all the food and even now Bofur's mouth was watering in the anticipation of the stew he could already smell simmering away though Bombur had barely begun conjuring his magic upon the food.

"So I take it that wife of yours does not deprive you," Bofur stated. Bombur laughed a little in good nature.

"No, she likes a dwarf with a bit of flesh to him," he said fondly, "Though she is getting rather round herself."

"How long?"

"Still several months yet," Bombur informed his sibling proudly, "Though two wild boys are enough and Azania is hoping for a girl this time around."

"Zu nathith uzarak amad, zu mahzirikh khi balil zu inùdôy," Bifur commented. Bofur grinned.

"Then he had better wish that she would be more like her father," the toymaker said. Bombur did not comment, rather listened as his kinsmen talked.

For a while Bofur's mind was taken off the all too recent events he had found himself a part of. The steaming bowl that his brother eventually placed in front of him had the toymaker salivating at the mouth, and not a moment after he had been given a spoon did Bofur heartily dig in. Once he finished, however, and Bifur and Bombur both sat contently filled beside him, Bofur could not help but allow his mind to stray back to Kili.

Sighing despondently, the toymaker rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.

"Mahal forbid that Kili takes a further turn for the worse," he said to no one in particular.

"And how might he take a…further turn for the worse, as you put it?" Bombur asked, his voice empty of most emotion. Bofur snorted with no amusement behind the sound.

"Infection for starters," he began, "Those are some pretty big wounds he is supporting and if even one of them were to fester it would more than likely not end well."

"But infection can be avoided if you are careful," Bombur said calmly. Bofur, however, was not yet done.

"He could turn out to have an internal injury which Oin missed," the toymaker stated, "And there is nothing much any healer can do if that is the case, especially if it is bad enough to kill him."

"Oin would be hard pressed not to miss anything," Bombur reassured, frowning at his brother's lamentations.

"Everyone makes mistakes," Bofur countered before suddenly changing the tone of his voice, "You didn't see him, see how much blood there was."

"Surely not enough to make you despair like this," Bombur said.

"More than enough," came the toymaker's reply. Bombur sighed, defeated.

"I need to be getting back to Azania and the rest of my family," the round dwarf told his brother and cousin, shooting a meaningful glance in Bifur's direction, "But I will return as soon as I can."

Bofur barely acknowledged the opening of the door as his brother departed, too caught up in the strange yet not unfamiliar feeling of the gloom which had settled over him. The toymaker had felt this way only a handful of times in his life, namely when his parents – namely his mother – had passed from the world and into the halls of Mahal. The same sense of hopelessness that had suffocated him at that time now had returned, confusing him and restricting his ability to see beyond the bad.

"He's got a long journey ahead of us," Bofur said with a dry humor, "Only time will tell whether or not what the end of that journey will be."

Sighing, the toymaker stood and glanced wearily over to Bifur.

"I fear Thorin's time will be well spent in caring for the lad," Bofur remarked, "As will Oin's."

"Izd lu' thadulur bashuk," Bifur's soft voice noted.

"Aye, you are right," Bofur said in reply, his gaze thoughtful and grim.

* * *

><p><span><strong>TRANSLATIONS:<strong>

**_Kili vusut gagin _– Kili (will) be healthy again.**

**_Zu lu' tarukh achùshum_ – You do not need to worry.**

**_Amagur lu' zatamarad _– The bear did not kill Kili.**

_**Zu tarukh mahdijnû hi**_** - You need to believe (in) him.**

**_Zu nathith uzarak amad, zu mahzirikh balil zu inùdôy_ - (If) your daughter (is) greatly like (her) mother, you (will) wish it (was) just your sons.**

_**Izd lu' thadulur bashuk - **_**They won't (be the) only ones.**

**Alright, lu' technically means 'no' but I sort of tweaked its meaning because it was the closest I could find to what I needed the word to mean. In any case, the translations are pretty accurate (do not hold me to that). Also, zu in Bifur's second piece of dialogue alternates between you and your (again it was the closest I could find). Izd means they, but again, it was closest to 'them'. Brackets are words that I could not find in Khuduzl, but needed for the sentence (see why doing this is so painful?).**

**In regards to Bombur's wife: the actor who played Bombur (or it might have been one of the others...) said he was the only other dwarf in the company besides Gloin to have a wife so that is where Azania comes in (don't laugh at her name) as well as his children.**

**So, any of you have an opinion to give on this chapter? **


	7. Chapter 7

**Here you go, the next chapter. Hope it has some good feels for you all to lap up. Enjoy.**

* * *

><p>"His temperature has risen again," Oin reported as he moved to refill the bowl he held in his hands with water.<p>

"That would make it the third time today," Balin said in a bleak voice. Dwalin said nothing, his shoulders merely hunching over further.

Thorin had retreated back into what Dwalin now considered the sick room, the dwarfish leader no longer able to stand the awkward silence that had stretched over both him and the sons of Furdin. If Dwalin was in his friend's place, he too would have chosen to be at the side of his injured and ill nephew. The remorse that had been previously banished by Thorin's earlier words came flooding back as the bald warrior once again wished he had not agreed to take Kili hunting.

"He cannot remain by Kili's side forever," Balin commented a while after Oin had disappeared back through the door to the room where Kili laid, "He has duties he needs to attend to and some will not sit ideally by and wait while the fate of his sister's youngest son is decided."

"He will not be drawn away for so long while Kili is still so weak and still with such a grim future hanging over him," Dwalin replied.

"Thorin may be able to get away with ignoring his responsibilities towards his people for a day or so, but it will not be long before something comes up that will force him to act," Balin said as he stood, "In any case, I will wait until later to press the issue."

"Where are you going?"

"To see about the new residence being developed on the east side of this village," came the old dwarf's reply, "I will have to draw up new documents for the construction of the houses in replace of the ones that… In any case, it should be enough to observe the work without them for now."

Dwalin noticed his brother's inability to state why the papers he needed were ruined. The tattooed dwarf knew better than to mention this aloud, however, and merely bided his older sibling a good day as Balin exited the house.

Settling back into the chair so he could mope in further anguish, Dwalin allowed his eyes to trace along a split in the timber of the table before him. With nothing else to distracted him, the seasoned warrior ran a stunted fingernail over the rough surface, pausing for a moment each time his nail became caught it the crack. It was an interesting sensation, the resistance tearing at his nail for a second before his finger broke free of the restraint and continued on its way. This simple action did not take his mind off the matter at hand, however, and it was not long before Dwalin found himself sighing despondently at the world.

What seemed like an age passed as the buff dwarf sat and thought, having nothing better to do. He wondered if there was anything that he could help with for the care of Kili, almost standing to offer his aid before deciding against it at the last moment. The room was small and would be crowded enough as it was with both Thorin and Oin in there already.

Dwalin was just beginning to doze off despite the fact that his stomach, which had not stopped churning since Kili had fallen off his pony, was bubbling with anxiety. The seasoned warrior, however, was abruptly jolted from his dazed like state when Oin came into the room yet again.

"Has there been any change?" Dwalin asked as he sat up a little straighter. Oin shook his head and grimaced.

"No, there has not," the healer answered as he sat down himself. Dwalin sighed quietly to himself. At least Kili's fever had not spiked yet again.

"You are not going back in?"

"There is not much more I can do in there," Oin replied wearily, "I am better off out here where I can create something for him if he does wake. You can join Thorin if you like, though. I know you have been longing to see the lad for yourself."

_If._

Dwalin winced at what the word implied.

"I think I will go in," he murmured. Oin did not acknowledge his words. Dwalin did not pause to repeat them.

The floorboards creaked as the seasoned warrior moved across them. Large hands pushed the door open and then shut it discreetly as startled eyes gazed upon the slumped figure before him.

"Thorin," Dwalin breathed as he reached a hand out to his friend. The dwarfish leader, however, did not react.

Dwalin let his hand fall back to his side as he frowned in concern. If the tall dwarf did not know better he would swear that Thorin was crying.

"Thorin," he said again as he crouched opposite the clearly despondent dwarf. His friend took a moment to run a hand over his face before looking up to respond.

"He is fading away," Thorin said in a despondent voice. Dwalin frowned, tweaking the corner of his lip as he did so.

"It has not even been a day," the warrior answered.

"He is fading all the same," came Thorin's reply. Dwalin looked at the slight form on the bed and could not argue against his leader's words.

"Be as that may," the burly dwarf eventually said, "Oin will not make it easy for him to leave, and neither would you."

"There is nothing I can do for him," Thorin exclaimed, half throwing his hands up in despair. Dwalin frowned again.

"You cannot think that way," the seasoned warrior berated.

"Then what am I supposed to do?" Thorin said, blue-grey eyes downcast and brooding. Dwalin tried to think of an answer he could give, yet however hard he racked his brains the right words always eluded his grasp.

"I don't know," he said in defeat, staring back down at the motionless form of Kili.

The stretch between these last words was only pierced by the heavy breathing of two dwarves and the broken breathing of a third. Through the window it was clear night was beginning its reign, yet neither Dwalin nor Thorin showed any signs of retiring despite both their mental and physical weariness. The only one resting was the youth on the bed, and his rest was far from natural, stemming from the harsh and unforgiving grips of fever.

"I cannot bare to lose him," Thorin said, his voice echoing through the silent air.

A shudder from the bed drew the dwarfish leader's attention, and Thorin ran a cool cloth over his nephew's head, all the while giving voice to the dark thoughts within his head.

"I have lost so many already," the dwarfish leader continued, eyes brimming with years of unshed tears.

Dwalin did not know what to say. He had witnessed Thorin's grief when tragedy had struck the proud dwarf, yet, with all his experience over the years, the tall warrior was still rendered speechless at the sight Thorin's tears.

"If this is all a punishment for something I have done, then why does death not take me instead?" Thorin moaned, "My grandfather was stolen from me as was my father. My brother taken before his time just as Kili will be, leaving Fili behind to mourn just as Frerin left me. I cannot do that to the boy, Dwalin, I cannot let Fili lose his brother so young."

"Then don't."

Thorin looked up, shocked.

"What?" he asked.

"Then don't," Dwalin repeated, large hands clasped beneath his chin, "Don't let Kili fade. Don't let him give in."

Thorin stared at his friend for a long moment before smiling woefully and shaking his head.

"If I could wield that sort of power, Kili would be awake right now. Frerin would be standing beside me and Dis would still have her husband. But I don't, Dwalin," Thorin said, "I may be a leader, your leader, but I do not have the power to bring back those who are already too far down a path I cannot follow."

Thorin's speech came to a shuddering close, Dwalin casting his eyes down to look upon the face of the young lad before him, unable to bring himself to meet his friend's watery gaze a moment longer. Kili's pale and sweaty face however, was a poor substitute. It held just as much as misery as the boy's uncle's, only this misery was a twisted agony.

"You should sleep," Dwalin heard himself saying after a while. Thorin grunted.

"You have been up as long as I have."

"Almost," Dwalin countered, "But I am not the one supporting black circles under my eyes."

"I will not sleep until he is either awake or asleep for good."

"And I will rest when you come to your senses," Dwalin responded, folding his arms over his chest and leaning back against the chair he sat in.

It did not take long for Thorin to fall into the grips of the very slumber he longed to evade, Dwalin watching with a barely suppressed grin as his esteemed leader dozed off. Oin came in and out, quiet in his work and as tender as ever as he handled to limp form of Kili.

"How bad will it get?" Dwalin heard himself asking at one point. Oin had merely sighed in response.

"I can only guess at what the next few days will bring."

* * *

><p><strong>Would you be so kind as to review?<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the late update. This may be a bit of a filler, but I hope it still makes up for the long update. In any case, heaps more Kili angst in Bofur's next point of view, I promise. ;)**

* * *

><p>When dawn finally chose to embraced the world around it, the new day noted two figures of interest. One lay on a bed rasping for air with a fever ravaging his already feeble body. The second was hurrying to find the fate of the first, darting along the streets in the brisk morning air. Bofur could only pray the lad had not passed away in the night.<p>

Durin help him if that were not the case.

Upon reaching the door to Thorin's house, the toymaker raised his fist and knocked, eager to be admitted and receive the news be it good or bad. Taking a deep breath, Bofur waited.

It was if those in the house could sense his urgency, for it took only a moment for the door to be opened by Dwalin. The bald warrior greeted the toymaker with a silent nod and moved aside so that Bofur could enter.

"How's the lad?" Bofur found himself asking. Dwalin sighed and rubbed his face.

"His fever has risen again, making it the fourth time."

Bofur frowned at the statement.

"Can you not do anything?" he asked. The tattooed dwarf beside him merely closed his eyes, breathing in once before answering.

"Oin is trying what he can, but it is a miracle that the boy has survived so long as it is," Dwalin said glumly, "Oin is with him now, changing the bandages."

"And Thorin?" Bofur inquired.

"As good as he can be given the circumstances," came the reply.

Bofur took this all in, standing stock still as he brought his thoughts together. It took a long moment, but by then the toymaker had pulled himself back to the present.

"Will Oin mind if…?" The rest of the question remained unspoken, yet it was clear that Dwalin knew what knowledge Bofur desired.

"No, he will not," the warrior said, moving back a step so he was no longer blocking the way to the sickroom of the house.

Bofur moved past Dwalin smoothly, his footsteps loud upon the wooden floorboards. Pausing at the door, the toymaker peered past it taking in the sorry sight before him.

"I was wondering when you would arrive," Oin said from where he was winding fresh bandages around his young and unresponsive patient. Thorin acknowledged him with a grunt, back mostly facing Bofur as he supported his youngest nephew.

"Had to see how the lad was doing," Bofur said, trying and failing to force out his usual cheery nature. The toymaker was not condemned for this failure, however, rather sent a saddened look as Oin finished up with Kili's torso.

"Worse than when you left," the healer said, as he began to unwrap the bindings on Kili's right arm. Bofur fought back a grimace as he caught a glimpse of the deep incisions crossed over by ragged black stitching that marred the young dwarf's flesh. Resisting the wave of nausea that suddenly came upon him, the toymaker opened his mouth to speak.

"Dwalin said as much," Bofur commented, a deep frown between his eyes as he turned his gaze to a crack in the wall that was of immense interest to him.

"Would you be so kind as to pass the roll of bandages beside you," Oin asked. The toymaker nodded and dropped them next to the healer as he moved beside Thorin.

"Both my brother and Bifur wanted me to say if there was anything you need-"

"Thank them for me," Thorin cut in, his deep voice soft. Bofur managed to tweak one corner of his mouth in an acknowledging smile, though the look in his eyes was saddened if anything.

"I will be sure to pass on your words," the toymaker said.

The two dwarves looked away from each other and towards where Oin was finishing redressing Kili's wounds. Once the last bandage was secured, the three remained where they were, thoughts kept to themselves and a reverent silence maintained between them. No sooner had the silence fully cloaked the room, however, Dwalin came in, not bursting through the door, but not opening it silently either.

"There's someone here asking for you," the bald warrior said, his eyes locking with Oin's, "It's urgent."

Bofur watched as the healer's eyes moved away from Dwalin's and to Kili's prone form first before settling upon Thorin's own grey-blue gaze.

"How urgent?" the grey bearded dwarf said. Dwalin grimaced.

"The dwarf injured might lose a limb urgent," came the answer. Oin took a breath, opening his mouth to answer, but Thorin got there first.

"You said it yourself there is not much you can do for him as of now," the dwarfish leader said. Oin exhaled and stood.

"I am truly sorry," the healer replied, "But I must go if someone needs me expertise. I will return as soon as I can."

Thorin did not reply. Instead it was Bofur who gave the healer a small smile and offered to walk with him to the door.

"If there is any change-"

"We should be able to manage," Bofur cut in, the smile from before still upon his face as he somehow managed to create a mask of assurance to hide behind. Oin merely gazed at him with worried eyes.

"Bear attacks rarely ever result in a happy ending and I fear this may not be any different," he said briefly before turning on his heel and walking out the door to where another dwarf was waiting in the close distance.

Bofur watched him go before swallowing drily and retreating back into the room where both Dwalin and Thorin were now in quite conversation. They paused upon the toymaker's entrance, but Bofur had caught the last few words to know that something was wrong.

"What is the matter?" the toymaker asked, a small frown appearing upon his face. Dwalin sighed and Thorin cast his blue eyes down to were his hands were gripping one of his nephew's.

"The dwarf that Oin was just called away to tend to," Dwalin began, speaking for both himself and Thorin, "He was on patrol when he was attacked."

"Bear?" Bofur asked, his eyes widening in concern and fear. Dwalin shook his head grimly.

"Orc," came the correction. Bofur gulped in a breath of air, taking in the news.

"Do you know how many?" the toymaker asked.

"Enough to cause havoc to those on and near the edge of the village, but not enough for them to storm us," Thorin answered in a monotone, "Unless it was only a small scout party the dwarves ran into. Either way, we need to eliminate the danger."

Bofur bit the inside of his cheek.

"You will have to leave Kili's side," he said seeing the problem as it appeared right before his face. Thorin closed his eyes.

"As much as I loath to I have no choice," the dwarfish leader answered, "The safety of my people must come first."

"I can watch him."

The words were out of Bofur's mouth before he himself realised he had said them. The toymaker waited anxiously for Thorin's answer, the grey-blue eyed dwarf having donned a face devoid of any emotion as soon as the suggestion had left Bofur's lips.

"I mean, Oin showed me what to do before and I hardly think that anything major will happen when you are gone, and if it does I know where Oin is, but again I highly doubt I will need to fetch him, and I can get Bifur or Bombur to come as well and-"

"I am sure Kili will be fine in your hands," Thorin cut in, the small smile upon his lips tainted by the worry and fear within. Bofur let him mouth snap shut, his earlier tirade now meaningless.

"Alright then," he said, unsure how to respond for Thorin was more or less making him responsible for the life of his youngest nephew, a life that was broken enough as it was. He was saved as Dwalin stood, the tattooed warrior placing one hand on his friend's shoulder.

"The longer we wait, the more chance the orcs have to attack," Dwalin said, appearing as though he were talking to the air, yet his words were unmistakably meant for Thorin. The dwarfish leader bowed his head and then stood.

Bofur watched as Thorin brushed his hand along his nephew's fevered forehead, bending close to whisper something inaudible in his air. He then shoot Bofur a look which needed no words to explain.

"He will be here when you get back."

_ I hope._

* * *

><p><strong>Any of you feel like reviewing? They might help me update faster.<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter might be a bit short, but definitely more Kili angst next instalment. For now though, enjoy.**

* * *

><p>The forest look dark and foreboding from where Dwalin stood, as if it were eager to devour any who stepped foot within its wall of impassible trees. The seasoned warrior was sure that it had not looked that way only two days before, but now that the forest's floors were stained with dwarf's blood it would never appear the same.<p>

"Ready to kill some orcish filth?" a voice asked beside him. Dwalin turned his head to look down at Gloin.

"I'm ready for this to be over," the taller dwarf growled, blinking as the light drizzle of rain began to pour down harder.

_I'm ready for this all to be over. All he needs to do is wake._

"With luck you will be out of the rain soon enough," Gloin said testing the edge of his axe with one finger. Dwalin just grunted in response.

_With luck, when I return to see how he is doing there will be good news._

The grim thoughts echoed in Dwalin's otherwise empty mind, suffocating him under waves of worry and fear, drowning him in an endless pool of despair and sheer tiredness, for Dwalin was tired. It was only the second day since the accident and he was tired, completely spent emotionally, and the tattooed dwarf knew he was not the only one. Thorin walked over to the group of assembled warriors, and in that instant the dwarfish leader's blue-grey gaze locked with Dwalin's. The same weariness that had engulfed Dwalin was reflected in Thorin's own eyes.

_What if Thorin loses him? If we _all_ lose him?_

The thought was not a happy one.

"Move out," Thorin called from where he stood and the gathering of dwarves moved into the forest. Dwalin winced every step of the way, the bear attack still fresh in his mind.

Dark visions assaulted Dwalin as he brushed past the first tree, an immaterial mass of flesh and fur appearing before his eyes. The warrior hesitated, but only briefly, not long enough for anyone to notice. Well anyone except Thorin. Again the Dwalin found his gaze drawn towards that of his friend's and again words were not needed for each dwarf to understand the other's thoughts.

Dwalin shook his head, trying to clear it so he could perform the task that needed to be performed without getting injured or killed. Even if there were no orcs in the forest, the seasoned warrior had already been proved that it was still a very dangerous place to be.

"We were attacked nor far from here," came the voice of the dwarf who Dwalin had greeted that morning. He was still in the clothes covered in the blood of his comrade.

_There had been so much blood…._

"Be on guard," Thorin's voice said, one hand grasping the hilt of his sword but not drawing it. Dwalin mimicked this action with the axe on his back.

The tattooed dwarf's eyes scanned the area around him, well aware of the fact that Gloin was striding along beside him, the ginger bearded dwarf bristling in the anticipation of a good fight. It had been a while since any of the warriors in the village had a chance to stretch their stiffened legs.

Soon the group came to the area in which the attack had happened. Dark stains of saturated earth were scattered around, as were a few orcish bodies. Dwalin kicked one, ensuring the being was dead before looking over to Thorin for instructions. The dwarfish leader was conversing with one of the dwarves who had been on the patrol.

"Which direction did they go off in?"

"I'm not sure," came the answer to Thorin's question, "There was a lot of commotion."

The dwarf who had spoken shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot.

"From where I'm standing, north," another dwarf answered, the black haired warrior's arms folded over his chest. He too was painted in blood, but it was only his arms that were so.

"Are you sure?" asked Thorin, not eager to waste time going on a wild goose chase when his youngest nephew had yet to wake back at his home.

"I am sure," the dwarf replied after a brief pause. His words did not ease Dwalin's tension. In a forest, surrounded by trees, it would be easy for them to be taken by surprise. Not a good thing since their potential enemy was a group of bloodthirsty orcs.

The group began to move again, their footsteps muffled by the other more natural sounds of the forest. Gloin stayed by Dwalin's side and Dwalin's eyes stayed fixed on his leader. He had failed one Durin already. He would not fail another.

Looking up at the sky, the seasoned warrior frowned. This was taking longer than he had expected, longer than he wanted it to take. Then again, Dwalin had not expected them to find the orcs as soon as they had set foot in the forest, though it would have been a nice notion had it been that way. The tattooed dwarf's thoughts then flew to Kili and Bofur, wondering how they both were faring, one more so than the other.

It was because he was not paying attention that Dwalin missed the orc hanging overhead.

A short cry rang out amongst the group of dwarves as Thorin was caught by surprise. The orc that had forced the dwarfish leader to the ground by jumping on his shoulders rolled away, drawing a crooked knife as it went. Several of the dwarves who had been standing by Thorin rushed to their leader's aid, but were waylaid as more orcs came out of the foliage and cut them off. They could do nothing as Durin's heir warded off the attacks of the orc who had surprised him.

Dwalin growled in frustration as he lost sight of Thorin in favor of cutting down the ugly face that had suddenly come out of nowhere. When he looked up again, Thorin and the orc he had been battling was gone.

"Damn it!" he cried, sinking his axe into the head of a charging orc.

_I should have been watching more closely._

Dwalin shook his head. There was no time to berate himself now. That could be done later when he had found Thorin in one piece.

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews would be much appreciated.<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**Early update, I know (though I am busy at the moment so the next update may not be for a while). In any case, more Kili angst as promised. **

* * *

><p>Bofur rubbed his face, tired, but happy that nothing had changed in Kili's condition that had required him to fetch Oin. Still, nothing had changed in Kili's condition and that was not good news. What was more was that the toymaker was alone in his worry, no one else in the house save him and the unconscious dwarfling he was looking after.<p>

"I suppose I should change your bandages then," Bofur remarked quietly to his charge, brown eyes staring almost longingly at the pale face framed by tangled brown hair. The toymaker sighed, wishing that the youth's eyes would just snap open as he stared. They did not and the disheartened dwarf moved on to fetch what he needed to clean and redress Kili's wounds just as Oin had shown him.

Placing the bowl of water on the table by the bed, Bofur contemplated the scene before him for a moment, trying to decide how he would lift Kili from the bed so he could redress his torso.

"We'll start with your arms first then," the toymaker said conversationally, reaching for the limb closest to him, "Sorry if this hurts at all, but it is for your own good. You'll thank me later for it."

_If there is a later. No, stop thinking like that,_ Bofur berated himself, _there is a chance he will make it out of this yet, alive and breathing and as well as he was before._

Grabbing at the bandages on Kili's arm, the toymaker managed to gently coax one end free before proceeding to unwrap the white strips of linen. He swallowed drily when the jagged handiwork of Dwalin's sewing skills came into view, but did not hesitate in his movements.

Making quick work of cleaning and rewrapping the arm, Bofur began on Kili's right side. The sight was very much the same, though the toymaker frowned when he saw reddening in several areas along the parts where Kili's flesh had been torn the most. The dwarf's fingers ghosted over the areas, feeling the noticeable heat rising off them. Running a wet cloth over the youth's right shoulder, Bofur's frown deepened as he eyed the swelling that was taking place there as well as the redness.

It was the beginnings of an infection.

Bofur paused in his work, thinking.

_I can manage it for now, _he decided, _but I need to ensure I clean them well. It has only just begun to show signs so is not so urgent that I need to fetch Oin, though I will have to tell him as soon as he returns._

Bandaging the offending limb, Bofur sighed and rolled his neck, wincing as he felt it crack several times.

"I'm going to have to sit you up now so I can fix the bandages around your chest," the toymaker said to the prone figure on the bed, "I just need to figure out how I am going to hold you at the same time, so excuse me if I disturb you."

It was madness talking to the boy when the young dwarf more than likely could not hear him, yet it somehow managed to comfort the toymaker, relieving him of his fears and worries. Silence would only allow everything to build up on itself, but Bofur had learnt long ago that a little noise helped him to distract himself enough not to dwell on the grief which had found a place in his life.

Sitting on the bed, Bofur laid the bowl and cloth he had been using previously by his side as well as a fresh roll of bandages. He hesitated a moment before slipping his hands underneath Kili's back, hefting the lad's limp form up into a sitting position. The youth's head lolled limply.

"You'll be up again in no time," Bofur said in a voice that was halfway between cheery and tired. He pulled Kili into his shoulder and reached behind him to where the end of the bandage around his chest was tucked.

It was when Bofur was reaching for the bowl of water that the youth leaning into his shoulder took him by surprise.

Kili jerked back and away from Bofur suddenly and without warning. Bofur frowned in confusion, hands reaching out to catch the youth and hold him in place.

"What in the name of…. Kili!" Bofur cried out in surprise, watching with an unmasked delight as the lad's eyes blinked around to face him. "It's about time that you woke," the toymaker continued, "You've been worrying everyone out of their minds. When your uncle hears that you've…. Kili?"

Bofur watched in concern as the young dwarf's eyes failed to light up with recognition. The brown orbs just stared at him blankly as if he were a stranger that Kili did not know and did not take interest in.

_This is not good, _the toymaker thought, _but at least he is a-_

"KILI!" Bofur half yelled in alarm as the youth unexpectedly tore his body from the toymaker's hands, a sharp sound emitting from his mouth. Bofur was up and off the bed in a heartbeat, hands brushing along Kili's sides as the older tried to force his charge back down onto the bed.

Kili gave a hoarse shout and somehow twisted free, leaving Bofur cursing in his wake. The heat radiating off the youth's skin was intense, having rapidly increased the moment the young dwarf had opened his eyes.

"This is not good, not good at all," Bofur found himself muttering as he fought to keep the youth still. Whether or not the fit had been caused by fever or something else, the toymaker did not know, but there was now terror etched into Kili's face and Bofur thought it was more than likely some form of nightmarish memory was haunting the young dwarf.

Bofur cried out in surprise as Kili jerked again, more violently this time causing him to fall off the bed. The young dwarf fell to the floor, landing with a half muffled thump as Bofur barely managed to break the youth's fall.

"Mahal…" the toymaker said half to himself as he found himself sprawled under Thorin Oakenshield's youngest nephew whose wild thrashing seemed to be decreasing. He felt a warm, sticky liquid seeping into the material of his sleeves, and it was with concern that Bofur noted Kili's chest wounds had reopened at least partially.

It was with great effort that the disgruntled dwarf managed to extract himself from under Kili and sit, pulling Kili into his lap as he did so. He saw the thin lines of red trailing from several places where it was obvious that the stiches Dwalin had put in before had torn and cursed inwardly. Kili did not need to lose any more blood, not so soon after losing such a vast amount before.

"Look at me now lad," Bofur said, glancing back towards Kili's face, the youth's eyes fixated on a point above the toymaker's head. He groaned softly, hands clenching at his sides slightly before relaxing again.

The young dwarf's eyes blinked, glazing over as whatever had caused him to wake in such a forceful manner faded. Kili's body began to fall limp and Bofur found himself suddenly fighting to keep the lad awake.

"Don't close your eyes," the toymaker said in a stern voice so unlike his own, "Do not fall back asleep. You may never wake if you do."

Kili, however, did not seem to hear the warning in the words nor the crack in the voice of the dwarf who held him towards the end. His eyes fluttered closed and Bofur was again left alone in the house. Only this time Kili was shaking as though he had been plunged into a sea of ice cold water even though his fever was now higher than it had been before.

"Damn it!" Bofur shouted, half hoping that the volume of his words would wake the unconscious dwarfling. When it became clear that it would not, the toymaker swore knowing that he was now in a situation that he could not redeem himself. Even if he could get Kili back onto the bed by himself, Bofur knew he could not leave the youth in the condition he was in to get help.

Looking down on Kili's sweat ridden face, Bofur contemplated his options. He needed Oin, yet he was the only one in the house. The episode before had scared him more than he would like to have admitted and while the toymaker did not want to see another fit like the previous one, he could not abandon him. He also needed to do something to stop the bleeding before it got worse, yet Bofur did not trust his shaking hands to replace the stiches that had been torn.

The despairing dwarf just didn't know what to do. Bofur was afraid to so much as move the boy for the change that had so suddenly come over him after a day and a half of almost nothing.

_Mahal, please. Send someone, anyone here so that I can send them for help. Please, do not let help arrive too late._

The toymaker's silent prayers were answered and only a moment later a knock came at the door.

"I've brought you some lunch if you're hungry. Thought I would keep you company and see if I could help at all. Business at the inn is going slowly and Azania thought that it would be best if I-"

Bombur's words cut off as he came to a halt in the centre of the doorway leading into Kili's room.

"Durin's beard…."

"I need you to get Oin," Bofur said sharply, "Now!"

Bombur was out the door faster than his brother could blink, the round dwarf not bothering to wait for the toymaker to explain. Bofur sighed as he heard Bombur's footsteps fade, alone once again with the unconscious Kili.

"Why?" he asked to the thin air, "He was doing so well." The dwarf received no answer however.

The thin trails of blood that had been running down Kili's chest before had begun the process of clotting over, leaving the youth's skin patched with a stiff red substance. The shaking had no stopped and it was as such that Bofur viewed the young dwarf in his arms.

"You have to hold on," he said, voice carrying an edge of despair to it, "You have to hold on. Please."

* * *

><p><strong>And just when you thought it could not get worse... ;)<strong>

**In any case, reviewers will get a little hint for a certain chapter that is upcoming (though will not appear for a long while). Unless you are a guest reviewer (in which case I will put the hint up next chapter).**


	11. Chapter 11

**Got this up earlier than I expected. Might be a little short, but I hope you enjoy it.**

* * *

><p>Dwalin felt a sinking pit in his stomach as he glanced around the makeshift battlefield yet again. There had been more orcs than he had expected in the ambush, yet half of them were now dead on the forest floor. Several of the dwarves that had been with him were also motionless, a few more supporting grievous wounds.<p>

Whipping up the axe in his hand to block a blow aimed for his head, the seasoned warrior tried to determine who was still standing and who was not. There were the faces of Bergin and Haram, eyes seeing nothing as the pools of blood beneath their sword-pierced chests began to dry. Lennon too had fallen, slain by an orc that now laid broken at the feet of the dwarves. Grief pricked Dwalin's heart at each loss, for Bergin had been near his end of service, both Haram and Lennon barely started. Their faces, however, were not the ones that Dwalin was searching for.

_Durin's beard, Thorin! Where are you?_

"Is this all they can muster up to throw at us?" Gloin barked with a savageness awakened by the battle. His weapons were silver streaks in the air around him as he continued to cut through the remaining orcs.

Dwalin ignored him, eyes set and determined as he landed a killing blow on another orc, crushing its chest and slicing deeply through its skin at the same time. Allowing the body to fall to the ground as he withdrew his axe, Dwalin continued in his mad search for his leader, moving swifter than before due to the diminishing number of orcs in his way.

It was the heavy breathing that gave him away. As the last stretch of the battle began to die down, Dwalin turned a moment too late as the sword came bearing down on him amidst the warning shout of Gloin and several others. The seasoned warrior flicked his wrist up, beginning to bring his axe into place between him and the orc though in his mind he knew it was a helpless cause. Then the orc halted all movement, choking on the blade protruding from its throat.

"You need to watch your back more," Guerin said with a shaky humour, the dwarf's orange hair half out of his usually neat braids. The warrior's appearance looked disheveled at best.

"Thanks," Dwalin said with a nod before turning to move towards Gloin.

"I think we're done here," the red haired dwarf said as Dwalin drew close. The taller dwarf shook his head solemnly.

"Did you see Thorin at all after the ambush?" Dwalin asked, trying his best to keep fear for the wellbeing of the dwarfish leader out of his voice. To that tattooed dwarf's immense horror, however, Gloin frowned and shook his head.

"Not since that first wave of orcs came at us," he replied.

Dwalin rubbed his face with one hand, almost ready to lose it from all the stress that had been piled onto him of late.

"You take the wounded back to the village," the seasoned warrior finally said, staring at a point above Gloin's head as he spoke, "I'll gather up some of those who are unharmed and begin a search party for Thorin."

_Dis will more than just kill me if I also cause her to lose Thorin too._

"There's no need," a voice said beside the tall dwarf and Dwalin turned only to find himself staring down at none other than Thorin Oakenshield. The tattooed dwarf blinked once and then twice, the muscles in his jaw working to move it up and down. Gloin looked precariously from one dwarf to the other before excusing himself silently.

"What happened to you?" Dwalin half growled, his previous anxiety now working up into anger. Thorin merely held his hands aloft, signing for peace.

"I got caught up in the fighting," the dwarfish leader replied, "After the orc floored me, I managed to snap the bastard's neck. Then I got caught up in the fighting with several others on the other side of the fighting. I am unharmed," Thorin finished, catching the way Dwalin was regarding his form. The tattooed dwarf grunted in response.

"Good," Dwalin said bluntly, "Dis and Fili do not need to return only to be informed that both you and Kili were both injured in the time they were gone." Thorin's face blanched at the thought and Dwalin cursed himself for his lack of tact.

"Any casualties?" Thorin asked, clearly not wanting to dwell on what Dwalin had just said. The seasoned warrior inhaled deeply before exhaling his answer a moment later.

"Bergin, Haram and Lennon are dead. Several others are injured; Thereon is severely wounded. He may or may not last the night, even with Oin working on him."

Dwalin watched his friend appear to deflate, his face growing more haggard and wearied in a heartbeat.

"Their families will be devastated," the dwarfish leader said quietly, mind distant. Dwalin merely blinked, his face hard and impassive.

"It is the way of things," the seasoned warrior said, his voice gruff, "And there is nothing anyone can do about it. We were ambushed and caught off guard."

"We need to get the wounded back to the healers. We also need to get the dead back as well," Thorin cut in, beginning to form a list of what needed to be done, "A party will also need to be sent to ensure no further orcs are hiding. Fresh patrolmen can be sent once we return."

Dwalin shifted his weight to his other leg, a slight crease of thought furrowed on his brow.

"Will you be joining the search party or-?"

"I will be returning," Thorin said in answer, his mind made up, "Gloin will head off the search party, unless of course you want-"

"I will return as well," Dwalin told his friend and leader, "And I will also inform the families of Bergin, Haram and Lennon." He shook his head as Thorin opened his mouth to cut in. "No," the tattooed dwarf insisted, "You need to get back to Kili. I am more than able to take care of this and discuss any matters of immediate concern with my brother."

Thorin stared at him, speechless.

"Thank you," the dwarfish leader finally managed to whisper, his blue-grey eyes shinning with an unspoken gratitude. Dwalin only tweaked the corner of his mouth sadly in return.

_After all, you do not know how much time he has left._

* * *

><p><strong>Worthy of a review or do I need to up my game next chapter?<strong>

**In any case, here is the hint for a chapter in the far, far future as promised for those (guests) who reviewed and my dedicated readers in general. **

**"Fee…" Kili whimpered softly, his voice barely even a whisper.**

**"Oh," the young dwarf rasped softly, "Oh…Mahal."**

**The words may be out of order (sentence wise ) … ;D **


	12. Chapter 12

**Not sure how good this is, but I hope you enjoy it anyway, especially the end. I sort of surprised myself.**

* * *

><p>When Oin came crashing through the door with Bombur in tow Bofur had never felt so relieved in his life. Kili had not moved since the earlier episode, and it was only through his shaking and the shallow yet consistent rise and fall of his chest that the toymaker knew the young dwarf was alive.<p>

"Through here," Bofur called, his legs beginning to cramp from being held in one position for so long. He glanced down at the limp form in his arms and opened his mouth to speak again. "Hurry."

There was a brief pause outside the door as Oin gave Bombur several instructions, and then the healer entered the room. He sent Bofur and Kili one swift glance as he crossed the room, being careful to avoid the pair of dwarves on the floor.

"What happened?" Oin asked, voice serious as he laid down the items he had brought with him. Bofur looked up at the healer with worry shinning clearly in his eyes.

"He woke," the toymaker began, "When I was changing his bandages and at first he was just looking around, but then he began to thrash around, taking himself off the bed and me down with him."

"Do you know what caused the fit?" Oin asked, frowning at what he had just been told.

"No," Bofur said, "But he didn't seem to recongised me when he woke."

"Not a good sign," Oin mumbled to himself. Bofur creased his forehead.

"Of course it's not a good sign," he half snapped, frayed nerves acting to sour his mood, "What do we do?"

Oin turned to asses the toymaker with guarded eyes for a moment before kneeling beside Kili's prone form. The healer checked the pulse and breathing of the young dwarf, mumbling to himself under his breath much to Bofur's annoyance. He moved onto feeling along Kili's limbs, lingering on the wounded areas of Kili's arms before running one hand gently down the youth's chest. After what seemed like an age the healer finally looked Bofur square in the eye.

"It is safe to move him," he said, moving down to take Kili's feet. Bofur recongised his cue and rearranged his hold on the lad so that his shoulders and head were mostly supported.

"On three," he said, not wanting to jostle the youth any further than he needed to.

_Durin knows the lad is in enough pain as it is._

Oin nodded and began to count, each number slow and distinct. Three had barely left the healer's lips when both dwarves strained upwards, painstakingly shifting from their knees to their feet before crossing the room and finally laying Kili back on the bed.

"Unwind the bandages on his arms for me," the healer said as he extracted a needle and some thread from his supplies, "I need to know how many of his wounds I need to re-stitch."

Bofur nodded his head in assent, removing the relatively fresh bandages he had applied only hours before. He looked up several times to watch Oin's process, marveling at how neat the healer's stiches were compared to those sewn by Dwalin. The pile of thankfully clean strips of linen was growing larger with each passing moment, yet when Bofur began to unwrap the bandages surrounding Kili's right upper arm, he barely bit back a curse.

"What is it?" Oin asked, peering up from where he had been absorbed in his task before. Bofur jerked his head towards where Kili's skin was a notable angry red, redder and more swelled than it had been before.

"Infection," the toymaker said, "Looks as though it is in several different areas as well. I saw it when I was changing his bandages before, but it seems to have gotten worse."

Oin frowned.

"Is there anything else you noticed before or during the fit?" he asked urgently, quickly finishing the stich he was on before moving over to Bofur's side to inspect the infected area. The toymaker swallowed.

"His fever rose considerably during the episode and his began shaking afterwards as though he had been plunged into a lake of ice," he said hesitantly. Oin nodded.

"That I noticed," he replied, before falling silent for a few short moments. "It may have been what caused the fit. The fever, not the shaking," the healer eventually continued. Bofur breathed out through his nose, closing his eyes as a wave of weariness washed over him.

"What did you ask my brother to do?"

"Hmm…oh. I merely asked him to fetch my assistant and to notify the guards at the gate to notify Thorin upon his return," Oin said, beginning to mix up a salve in a wooden bowl to smear over Kili's wounds.

Thorin.

"Mahal," Bofur breathed, what Oin had just said suddenly sinking in, "He is going to kill me. I said I could look after Kili, that I would be fine and now look what happened."

"What was that?" the healer beside him asked, glancing up briefly at the toymaker. Bofur shook his head.

"It doesn't matter."

"Then hold him up for me so I can rewrap his chest," the healer said, his voice brisk and commanding. Bofur complied, pulling the young brunette up into his arms for a third time that day.

Oin was nearly finished in his task when Bombur came in, red faced and out of breath. He took in the scene before him with grim eyes as he turned to face the healer beside his brother.

"I have done as you said," he informed Oin, his words broken up by undignified panting. The healer nodded his head in acknowledgement.

"You have my thanks," he said absently, tying off the last of the bandages, "There, you may lay him back down now."

Bofur did as he was told, gently placing Kili back on the pillows beneath the youth. The brunette's face was slack, yet his features appeared tense as though whatever had incurred the incident before was still at play inside the young dwarf's mind. Still, only the movement of Kili's chest rising and falling was evident, and as such Bofur felt his resolve crumbling.

_Wake up, lad. Just wake UP!_

"Bofur? Bofur!"

The toymaker's head snapped up from where it had been gazing down at the prone form beneath it. He turned to face his brother, biting his lower lip as he did so.

"Sorry," Bofur mumbled, trying and failing to send a smile Bombur's way.

The round dwarf made to speak, but was cut short as a loud knocking took up on the door.

"I'll get it," Bofur said to no one in particular, needing to get out of the designated sick room to clear his head.

His footsteps echoing on the wooden floorboards, the toymaker swiftly made his way to the door. Grasping the handle, he pulled it open coming face to face with another dwarf, one who had set out with Thorin for patrol.

"Oin," the disheveled warrior gasped, "I need Oin."

Bofur did not pause in flying back to where the healer was working.

"The patrol is back," he gasped as Oin's head snapped up, his eyes unusually alert, "It appears they ran into trouble."

The healer glanced at Kili and then sighed, jumping to his feet and grabbing the supplies he had not used. Without a backward glance he was gone, the door slamming shut behind his hurried figure. Bofur stared after him and sighed, sinking to the floor where he leaned against the doorframe.

"What is it?" the voice of Bombur asked as the round dwarf came to a crouch beside his brother. Bofur suddenly found himself seeking Bombur's warm embrace.

"Don't leave me alone," he cried, pressing into his brother's arms, "I cannot deal with this alone. It is too much….too much for me to face alone." The toymaker grasped at Bombur's tunic, pressing his face into the fabric. Much to his gratitude the round dwarf did not push him away, merely holding him closer offering comfort through touch alone.

The two brothers remained in the same position for a long while, the one normally doing the comforting crumbling in the arms of the other. On the bed across from the pair, the motionless figure of Kili seemed to respond to the change in the atmosphere around him, a slight frown appearing on his forehead. He shifted once and then was still again, Bofur obliviously pulling himself back together slowly in Bombur's embrace.

It was only when the door to the house slammed that the toymaker looked up again.

"Kili?"

* * *

><p><strong>Please review. I am simultaneously drowning in assignments and my own writing (both fan fiction and non fan fiction related) right now so I really need them. :(<strong>


	13. Chapter 13

**Here you go. Some emotional Dwalin, here which I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

><p>The door loomed before him, subtly mocking the burly warrior with its closed face, a face that presented so much hope. Taking a deep breath, Dwalin closed his eyes and stepped up to knock on the wood.<p>

"Yes?" a voice asked, wavering slightly as the dwarf the voice belonged to beheld just who was on his doorstep. Dwalin swallowed once as he stared down at the woman who had answered.

"I am sorry," he began, twisting his fingers together. The female in front of him had begun to shake her head in denial.

"No, no, no. It cannot be. I won't believe it. No, no," she repeated as if the words could drown out the truth.

"I am sorry," Dwalin said again, raising his voice slightly to be heard, "But Lennon is dea-"

"No!" cried the woman before him, the redhead flinging herself onto the seasoned warrior, "No! Tell me it is not true. Tell me you have got it wrong."

"I am truly, truly sorry," Dwalin replied, slowly prying her clutching fingers off the fabric of his tunic, "But what I tell you is the truth. Lennon fell in the fight against to orcs."

"No, not my boy," the woman moaned, now a limp puddle by Dwalin's feet. The tall warrior bit his lip, unsure whether he should take his leave or help the female at his feet back inside. He was saved as another face came to the door, brought forth by the commotion.

"What's going on?" the brown haired dwarf demanded. It was the redhead on the floor that answered first.

"My son," she wailed, now grasping at the feet behind her, "My son is dead. Dead! He is too young…too young…."

"I will take it from here," the dwarf opposite Dwalin said, seeing the warrior's indecision. Dwalin nodded and turned away to give the pair some much needed privacy.

As he walked, thoughts of Dis flew through his head, thoughts involving her returning to find that she had only one son. If Kili were to pass from the world, Dwalin was unsure how Dis would react, though he had several ideas of which he could clearly visualise in his head.

The first of these was almost the same as the scene the seasoned warrior had just witness unfold. More often than not a mother would all but collapse as the news of their child's death was delivered to them, and it was more than likely Dis would be no different. Dwalin physically cringed as he imagined the thud of the female dwarf's knees colliding with wooden floorboards, shoulders shaking as she wailed in denial deafening all around her. A once proud woman reduced to nothing but a pool of salty tears.

Still, Dwalin knew Dis might act the complete opposite, not reacting at all save shedding a few lone tears just as the wife of Bergin had. Dwarves were a hardy race, the line of Durin more so than others. They were not prone to showing grief or sorrow, at least not where the public eye could view and judge them. Female she might be, but Dwalin could not fail to acknowledge that Dis was in fact descended from Durin himself. For all he knew, Kili's mother could merely stand strong and silent as she let the horror of losing her youngest wash over her, and in a way that would be a thousand times worse than if she screamed or begged.

There was however, one worse scenario that could take place, a scenario that would haunt Dwalin whether it came to be or not. Dis could lash out at him with nails flying and eyes blazing, much like Haram's mother had. When the seasoned warrior had delivered the news of the young dwarf's fall, the female dwarf had merely blinked before launching into a full scaled attack on him both verbally and physically.

_"Why did you let my son die? Why did you not save him?"_

Three shallow furrows still ran down his right cheek where he had failed to deflect the blow of the woman acting on a deep rooted grief. Whether he had actually meant to deflect the blow was another matter, for the woman's words had taken their toll on him, just as they always did when he was left to inform someone of the death of a loved one.

_"He was under you charge, under your care. Had you done your job than he would be standing in your place, but you did not so he is not."_

Dwalin knew it would break him if Dis ever turned on him like that. If Kili died, he would no doubt deserve it, but it would break him none the less. Fili too would lash out, not physically as that was not the blonde's way, he would not even lash out with words. Rather he would lash out with a cold and stony silence, not unlike the walls of the mountain that had been lost long ago. He would lash out with an icy fire strong enough to oppose his mother's own immensely hot one.

"I see you are back, brother," Balin's voice called as Dwalin opened the door to their house. The seasoned warrior sighed despondently.

"Informing the families of those who died is something I do not take much joy in doing," he said with a deep sense of weariness and regret. Balin looked up from where he had been spilling over a pile of papers.

"It is not a task any would find joy in," he replied, "And it is a task that is by no means easy either."

"You think I don't know that?" Dwalin snapped before glancing away from the concerned eyes of his brother, ashamed by hos outburst. He refused to look back up even as he felt a hand run gently over the scratches down his cheek.

"What happened?" Balin asked softly, bending around to peer into his brother's face. Dwalin sighed again, biting the inside of his cheek as he did so.

"Haram's mother did not take the news well," he said simply, emotion devoid of his voice but not his eyes. Balin reached up to give the warrior's shoulder a squeeze before guiding the younger dwarf to a chair.

"What happened?" the dwarf asked again, this time his words directed at something entirely different. Dwalin grunted.

"Did Guerin not tell you of what happened with the patrol?" he replied. Balin shook his head.

"I want to hear it from you."

"There is nothing more to tell," Dwalin shot back. His brother merely sat in front of him, waiting. It only took a moment for the seasoned warrior to give in.

"We were ambushed," he started bluntly, not one overly fond of talking, "We had been following the direction the orcs headed after they attacked the first patrol and they came out of nowhere to attack us. I was not paying attention as I should have and they got Thorin." At this Dwalin growled at himself, pushing one fist into his forehead. "I was stupid in letting myself get distracted, and it was only after the battle that I found him, by some miracle, unharmed. We assessed our loses and then returned here."

The warrior finished, both hands now clenched tightly in his lap, muscles in his arms tense and bulging. His shoulders were shaking, not with sorrow or grief, but with anger directed at himself. He had failed to protect his leader where he had sworn to do so with his life. It had all turned out for the best, yet Dwalin knew that it would have only taken one slipup on Thorin's part to give the story a vastly different ending. He had failed in protecting the line of Durin again, just as he had failed in protecting Kili and Frerin, Thror and even Thrain.

"Brooding again, brother?" Balin said with jest, pulling Dwalin out of the depression he had sunken into, "I believe you have been hanging around Thorin too much."

"No," Dwalin cut in, "No, I have just realised the consequences of my actions."

Balin regarded him with a concerned frown.

"How so?" he asked.

"I am no longer fit to watch over the line of Durin," Dwalin answered, pushing his chair away as he stood.

"Where do you think you're going?" Balin cried as the tattooed dwarf made for the door.

"To inform Thorin that I must step down from my position," Dwalin answered. His brother was up and in front of him faster than he could blink.

"You are not thinking straight," Balin said, his voice containing a tinge of anger, "Your mind has been addled by the events of this day and the days before. You need to rest."

"I am thinking perfectly fine," Dwalin retorted, "Had I been able to do my job Thorin would not have been placed in such immense danger. If I had been able to do my job, Kili would not have been set upon by a bear. If I had been able to do my job, Thror and Frerin would still be alive and Thrain here right now, but I was not able, never able and now look at the mess we are in."

"Dwalin!" Balin reprimanded, "Enough of this! I will not have that talk in this house."

"It is merely the truth," the younger of the two said.

"NO!" Balin yelled, "It is not the truth. You are blinded by grief and how you managed to place the guilt of every misfortune we have come across…. Truly brother, you amaze me sometimes. Now sit back down, or better yet, sleep. Take your rest. If need be I will have Oin drug you."

"Oin has his work cut out for him already," Dwalin said softly, ashamed at his brother's words, "He has no time for me."

"Then stop this nonsense and behave as you ought," Balin answered. To that, Dwalin had no reply.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for the reviews. :) They helped to make my day. :) However, I should be getting back to work... In any case, can any of you squeeze out another? Review that is. ;)<strong>


	14. Chapter 14

**Short chapter, and probably not as much of Kili as you would like, but hey. At least it's up.**

* * *

><p>Pulling himself out of his brother's arms, Bofur rose to his feet, heart sinking to the floor.<p>

"Thorin?" the toymaker called as Bombur pulled himself up beside his brother.

"Aye," came the reply, "Now tell me what has befallen my youngest nephew."

Bofur fell back a few steps as Thorin materialised in the door, grey-blue eyes flashing formidably against the dwarfish leader's disheveled appearance. Swallowing the toymaker nervously glanced back at where Kili lay in slumber, twiddling his thumbs all the while. Bombur had all but melted into the shadows in the corner.

"How much do you already know?" Bofur asked with a slight quaver in his voice. Thorin moved to sit beside his nephew, eyes focused on the youth's face but listening intently.

"Just that Kili had a fit of some sort," he replied, reaching up one hand to stroke the brown hair before him, "I suspect you can shed some light on the situation."

"That I can," Bofur replied before lapsing into silence. It took several quiet and controlled breaths as well as a nod from his brother to start the toymaker up again. "It happened when I was changing his bandages," Bofur began, "He woke for a short period of time, but-"

"He woke?" Thorin cried, joy tingeing his voice. Bofur closed his eyes against the dwarf's false hope.

"He did not recognise me," he said bluntly, "And it was not long after that when he started jolting around as though he were possessed."

This time it was Thorin closing his eyes against the spoken words. Bofur watched him for a moment.

"Go on," the dwarfish leader said and the toymaker obeyed.

"Luckily Bombur turned up when he did," Bofur stated casting a grateful glance in his brother's direction, "In any case, he fetched Oin. By the time he arrived the entire thing had finished."

"Do you know what caused it?"

"No," Bofur replied with an apologetic look, "Oin didn't know either, though he guessed it was something to do with Kili's fever rising and the infection that has begun to settle in."

"What?" Thorin rumbled, his hand freezing halfway across his nephew's fevered brow as he turned to stare at Bofur, "Infection? Already?"

"I…I am afraid so," Bofur replied, stumbling slightly over his words. He bit his lip, fingers twitching nervously in the fabric of his tunic as he watched Thorin heave out a large breath and rub both hands down his face.

"Leave me please," the dwarfish leader finally said. Bofur frowned.

"I don't think that is a good idea," he replied, "I was unable to get help when the fit started due to being the only one in the house."

"I am not asking you to leave completely," Thorin stated, "Merely to leave the room so I may have some time alone with my nephew."

After everything the generally stoic dwarf had been through that day and in the past few ones, Bofur could not deny him this one thing.

"Very well," he said, "I will be outside if you need me." Nodding to his brother, the toymaker lead the way out the door.

It was with weary legs that Bofur sank into a chair, head drooping down to his chest as he allowed the events of the day to wash over him and finally drain his strength. He had yet to apologise to Thorin for his failure to keep anything further happening to Kili, but he was too exhausted to follow through with the notion.

"You look like you need some time to yourself," Bombur commented. Bofur started as his pipe appeared beneath his nose.

"T…thanks," he managed to stutter, grabbing the pipe from his brother, "Though I suppose I had better not smoke it in here."

"I think some air would do you good," came Bombur's reply.

The round dwarf grabbed Bofur by the arm and guided him out of the house before allowing the hollowed out toymaker to sink back against the wall. Lighting the pipe, Bombur passed it to his brother before sitting beside him.

Bofur drew in a long breath, inhaling the intoxicating smoke before blowing it back out again in one big whoosh. He sighed into the air wondering how the world could seem so peaceful when Kili was fighting for life only a small way away from him.

The light drizzle of rain only a foot away from where the two brothers sat under the overhang of the house's roof washed everything in grey. It dampened the atmosphere, yet in a light and refreshing way, the constant beat of water falling on the earth around him lulling Bofur into a dreamlike state. His mind emptied and cleared save for the thoughts of the young dwarf he had held so carefully in his arms earlier that day.

"Do you think he is hurting?"

"What?" Bombur asked, turning his head so it faced the toymaker.

"Kili," Bofur said, "Do you think he is hurting? Or do you think he is just merely unable to express his pain?"

"I don't know what to think," Bombur replied slowly, frowning as he spoke, "I suppose it would be best if he could not feel the pain, but for all I know he could. Feel the pain I mean."

"Thorin seems so…distressed by it," Bofur said, "Not that I would blame him. If Kili were my nephew…."

"You seem pretty torn up about the situation regardless," the toymaker's brother commented.

"You should have seen him when Dwalin first brought him in. No, actually I am glad you didn't," Bofur corrected, "It is something I wouldn't wish anyone to see if they did not have to. The amount of blood…that is something I don't think I will be able to forget."

Bombur did not reply, rather staring out into the rain deep in thought. Bofur puffed away on his pipe beside the round dwarf, his trademark hat sliding down his forehead from time to time. The day was growing older with each passing moment, and it was only a little later that Bombur sighed and stood.

"I should be getting back," the ginger dwarf said, "Azania will be wondering where I got to."

"I will see you tomorrow then," Bofur replied lifting his head from where it had dropped against his chest. The toymaker made no move to stand.

"Will you not return to your own home?"

"Nay," Bofur said, "After today I fear to leave Thorin alone in case the same fit strikes Kili again. It is better if there is two of us to care for the lad, one to mind him and one to fetch help if needed."

"I will tell Bifur not to worry then," the toymaker's brother said, "For he no doubt already is."

Bofur nodded and the round dwarf was gone, disappearing into the now ceasing rain. The toymaker sat and watched the world alone a while more before he too got up, putting out his pipe and walking back inside to where a young dwarf lay fading away ever so slowly.

* * *

><p><strong>Definitely<strong>** more Kili next chapter, or at least more Dwalin. ;) So if you guys would be so kind as to review...**


	15. Chapter 15

**No Kili, but next chapter is a small treat for you all because I feel a little (little being the key word ****there) of what I have put you all through. In any case, this is now day three since the incident.**

* * *

><p>Dwalin woke to the sound of voices, one distinctly more familiar than the other.<p>

"…dead," someone was saying is a hushed voice, "Died this morning of fever. He never stood a chance, not from the wounds he received."

Dwalin bolted upright in his bed, the sheets falling down to his lap in a jumbled heap.

"No," he rasped aloud, his voice sounding half strangled. The seasoned warrior knew he had to have heard wrong. The young lad could not be dead, not Kili, not Thorin's youngest nephew. There was still a chance, however, that he had misheard….

"I fear Thorin will not take the news well," Balin said, his voice floating through the wall to his brother, "Not with everything that is going on."

Dwalin barely suppressed a moan of grief, letting his head fall into his hands as his mind reeled.

_They never said his name. Kili could still be alive._

All the warrior's false hope shattered into a thousand tiny fragments as his brother walked in through his door, expression guarded, but eyes mournful.

"I take it you heard then."

Dwalin did not respond, but he did not need to. Balin sighed and sank onto the edge of the younger dwarf's bed.

"It is a sorrowful business," the advisor said as he rubbed his face dolefully, "And no doubt Oin is displeased with himself, but when there is nothing you can do there is nothing you can do."

"He was too young," Dwalin murmured half to himself. To his surprise his brother gave a short laugh.

"He was older than me by far," the dwarf said in amusement before quickly sobering. It was in a rush of guilty relief that Dwalin understood his brother's words.

Kili was not dead, but someone else was and Dwalin had a good idea who it was.

"It happens in battle," the seasoned warrior said despondently, "Warriors sustain wounds and then die before their intended time."

"Oh no you don't," Balin scolded almost immediately, "You are not blaming yourself for this death. If it were not his time than he still would be alive, not laid low by infection."

"Uric was-"

"Your responsibility," Balin finished, cutting his younger brother off midsentence, "He was also Thorin's, yet would you tell Thorin he should feel guilty for Uric's death?"

"No, but-" Dwalin began before being interrupted yet again.

"Then why must you always act as though the blame is yours?" Balin asked, exasperated, "However it matters not. Besides, you should be glad for it is now down to Oin and not you to inform Uric's family of the matter of his death."

Dwalin closed his eyes, breathing in deeply as he steadied his mind allowing himself to think clearer. True, he was glad that he did not have to bear the responsibility of delivering the news of yet another death, yet it was a responsibility that was his none the less. Uric had been his soldier and as such he should be the one to have given the news to the family.

"There will be time for you to pay your last respects later," Balin said, the warrior's brother somehow knowing what the younger was thinking, "But for now it would do to leave the family to grieve and Oin to do his job."

"How does Kili fare?" Dwalin asked, changing the subject as he reopened his eyes to look at his brother. Balin sighed and rubbed his lined face.

"To be honest, I do not know," he answered, "But I would assume the same since you last saw him."

"He still may have changed," Dwalin replied. Balin smiled gently, his expression halfway between sad and knowing.

"You care for that lad greatly," he remarked.

"And you do not?"

"I do," Balin said as he shifted the weight on his legs, "However I do not think I care for him as much as you do."

"He is so young," Dwalin said, letting out his breath is silent rush. Balin blinked.

"He will not stay young forever."

"He is reckless," Dwalin continued closing his eyes again.

"We can only hope he will mature enough to grow out of it," came the reply.

Dwalin looked down at his hands for a moment, allowing his brother's words to sink in beneath his skin, brining a sense of uneasy reassurance that the warrior had been unable to find for a long while. Swallowing he then stood, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

"I will go and see how the lad is fairing," the tattooed dwarf said as he pulled his coat over his rumpled tunic. Balin tweaked the corner of his mouth.

"Then it would do you well to comb your hair before you leave," he said as he walked out of the room. Dwalin ran one hand through his hair and grimaced as he saw his brother's point.

It did not take long for Dwalin to rid himself of the tangles in his hair. It took even less time for the warrior to walk past where his brother had his head bent over a pile of parchment and out the door to the house.

The fresh morning air hitting the bald dwarf's face shook Dwalin from whatever small amounts of sleep he had still been clinging to. The light breeze did nothing to smooth the furrowed lines from his brow however, nor did it succeed in brining him some much needed joy.

"The world is just as gloomy as ever," he muttered to himself as he walked through the barely stirring streets. Uric was dead and at least three more of his men were still in Oin's care from the day before. The warrior bit the side of his cheek wondering who he should see first. He held a duty to his men, but he had known Kili since he had first laid eyes on the boy during the harsh winter the brunette had been born.

Heaving a giant sigh Dwalin switched directions, making for Oin and the healing house. He could always ask for information regarding Kili's condition from the healer. Besides Kili was as much of Thorin's charge just as the men in the healing house were the bald warrior's.

"Oin?" Dwalin called as he stepped through the door leading into the first of several healing rooms. The healer's assistant looked up and sent a short grin in the direction of the warrior.

"He probably didn't hear you," the young dwarf said as he gathered up an armful of bandages, "He's in the back room though, if you want him."

"Would I be calling him if I didn't?" Dwalin grumbled as he strode past, a frown drawing his eyebrows closer on his forehead. He poked his head through another door and, spying the dwarf he was looking for, called out again raising his voice slightly this time round.

"Keep your voice down least you wake one of my patients," Oin chided as he drew closer. Dwalin set his mouth in a thin line.

"How are my men?" he asked. Oin grimaced.

"Did Balin tell you about-"

"Uric? Yes," Dwalin cut in, "How are the rest of them?"

"Well, Reade should be up in about a week," Oin began, "Though he will not be joining any patrols any time soon. The wound he received was clean but deep. Darien on the other hand…."

"The orc that got him did tear his blade through his body numerous times," Dwalin said. Oin sighed.

"There is not much I can do in the face of such injuries."

The words sounded similar to the ones that the healer had spoken to Thorin when informing the dwarf about Kili's wounds.

"There is still a chance he may live," Dwalin said with no small amount of hope.

"There is an even greater chance he will succumb to fever or infection or the mere exhaustion of his body fighting against both these things," Oin followed without pause. The healer turned to grab the bag beside his feet, but Dwalin got there first, sweeping it up for the half deaf dwarf.

"Thorin will not like hearing of such prospects," the warrior said. Oin regarded Dwalin with detached eyes.

"It is not my job to tell him what he would like to hear," the healer replied before turning to his assistant, "I am going now. You know where to find me if any problems occur."

"It is also your job to fix the injured," Dwalin said as he stepped out into the weak sunlight a second time that day.

"Sometimes the injured cannot be healed," came Oin's answer, "Despite what you or I might do."

* * *

><p><strong>Does this <strong>**deserve a review? **


	16. Chapter 16

**Alright, not the chapter you were hoping for (sorry), but at least it's up. In any case, I hope you enjoy it and you can count on (definitely - cross my heart and hope to die) more Kili angst next chapter.**

* * *

><p>It was the low voice that drew him towards the door. Soft and gentle and everything the toymaker had come to not expect from the dwarf save for where his family was concerned.<p>

"You are the one responsible for the gray in my hair, my boy, you and that troublesome streak of yours," came the words as they floated through the thick wood to Bofur's ear leaned lightly against it. The dwarf peered around the edge of the slightly opened door, his curiosity more than a little aroused.

The sight that greeted the toymaker made the dwarf want to shrink back down into the shadows smiling softly all the while. Thorin was seated by his unconscious nephew's head, stroking the youth's hair as he talked quietly to the unmoving being.

"How you survived that winter I am not sure anyone will ever know, but you did, so I do not see why you cannot survive this."

The breath caught in Bofur's throat as it constricted, the words that were assaulting him bringing along an unexpected comfort as well. It was widely known that the youngest of the Durin's had been brought into the world on what could have been described as the coldest and harshest winter in the lifespan of several different generations. It was also widely known that most scrawny babes born in winter did not survive to see the following spring, and scrawny Kili had been yet somehow he had lived to see many more winters come and go.

"You are strong, Kili, far stronger than anyone might think, including you. You are strong enough to fight Dwain in training and win, and you are strong enough to fight this."

Thorin's voice had a tremble to it, one that Bofur had never heard in all the time he had known the dwarfish leader. It was a tremble of emotion, a tremble of longing and desperation and denial mixed all into one single pitch. The toymaker felt the same tremble form in his own throat and it was with great difficulty that he choked it back to listen further to what Kili's uncle had to say.

"What would your mother say if you left without her knowing? What would your brother say? It would destroy them."

Tears pricked at Bofur's eyes and this time he did let out an inaudible gasp. To lose a loved one…. It was the worst curse that could exist and it was a curse Bofur knew well. The only family he had left was that of his brother and his cousin, all the rest had faded away over time. As hard as it was, no one was meant to live forever.

Pressing back against the wall beside him, the toymaker allowed himself to sink to the floor. He had watched when his mother had succumbed to a mysterious illness no healer could identify. He had watched when his father had simply given up on life and passed away. He had watched when he had almost lost Bifur to a brutal attack. Those were times when he had suffered greatly, but he had gotten past them, learned to look on the brighter side of life. Now, however, Bofur had been dragged back down to his darker depths as he was forced to watch Kili fight for life only a wall away from him.

"Âzyung zu, Kili. Zu lu' barak. Zu khîm…khîm…"

The toymaker's heart broke, the words fading in the air around him. Thorin was silent just as he was, waiting, watching, hoping. Blinking, Bofur breathed in and swiveled his head so that he was staring at the prone form on the bed. He counted slowly in his head, watching the faint rise and fall of Kili's chest from the crack in the door before a knocking behind him caused the toymaker to jump.

"Oin, Dwalin," Bofur greeted as he let the two dwarves in. The older of the two gave a brief nod to the toymaker before making his way into the room where both Thorin and Kili were situated.

"Anything?"

"No," Bofur answered in short, walking with Dwalin to the door and looking in. The tattooed dwarf beside him sighed.

"How long will it take until something changes?" the warrior said.

"Changes for better or for worse?"

Bofur could feel Dwalin's eyes boring into him, but he resisted the urge to look. It was a fair question and the toymaker was not going to take it back. When this became clear to the dwarf beside him, the same dwarf let out a gushing breath.

"Just changes I suppose," Dwalin finally said.

"Don't we all?"

The pair watched as Oin rewound a fresh batch of bandages around Kili's chest. The wounds were still hideous, tearing through the dwarfling's flesh. The only difference was that they were now more pink lines broken by jagged black stitching instead of large red gashes.

_"Grab the door. The door!"_

_"Oin wasn't home and I couldn't manage to locate his assistant either."_

_"We'll have to manage ourselves then. We do not have time to race around trying to find them."_

Bofur shuddered at the memory. Images of blood and screaming filled his mind and it was with a wince that the toymaker pulled himself back to reality.

"I will be outside if anyone needs me," he said to the dwarf beside him before leaving the way Dwalin and Oin had come.

* * *

><p><span><strong>TRANSLATION<strong>

**_Âzyung zu, Kili_ - (I) love you, Kili.**

**_Zu lu' barak_ – You cannot leave.**

**_Zu khîm…khîm…_ – You (are too) young…(too) young…**

**Lu' technically means 'no', but I needed to alter it to 'cannot'. Any words in brackets above are implied (meaning I couldn't find them), otherwise each word is what it translates to be above.**

**Please review.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Alright, short chapter (sorry). It's also a bit of a filler. There may be one or two interesting things in here, but I moved what was originally going in here to next chapter (something that a few of you might be hanging out for... ;) So in any case, enjoy this one as much as you can and I will try to update real soon (given it's easter and all - and on that note happy Easter).**

* * *

><p>Dwalin was frozen in the doorway. It only took a glance from Thorin to invite the warrior in. The tattooed dwarf tentatively took his place beside the dwarfish leader.<p>

"His fever seems to be down," he said. Oin frowned and swiped one hand over his head.

"No, he still has a temperature," the healer replied, "A high one too."

"Then why-?"

"How long since he last drank?" Oin asked, cutting Dwalin off. Thorin gave a shrug of his shoulders before turning his gaze to the warrior beside him.

"Sometime before we caught sight of the deer," the tattooed dwarf answered. Oin frowned and felt the youth's head again.

"And that was…?" the healer prompted. Dwalin did not hesitate to answer.

"Around three days," he said. Now Thorin was frowning too, in both confusion and concern. Oin closed his eyes for a moment as he pulled a bandage tight around one of his patient's arms.

"We need to get some water into him," came the healer's final evaluation, "Thorin, if you would be so kind as to fetch me some."

The dwarfish leader nodded and exited the room with one last glance towards his nephew. Dwalin watched the heels of his boots disappear around a corner before turning to Oin.

"Do you think he will make it?"

The half deaf dwarf did not seem to have heard him and Dwalin could not bring himself to repeat the question again. Instead he leaned back against the wall, nodding to Thorin as the dark haired dwarf re-entered with a cup of water.

"Give that here," Oin said, stretching out one hand as he finished rewinding fresh bandages around Kili's chest, "Lift his head."

Dwalin made to swoop in, but Thorin got there first, tenderly raising his nephew's head. Dwalin fell back against the wall as Oin delicately opened Kili's mouth and tipped a small amount of water in. The healer then allowed the youth's mouth to fall shut, waiting for the lad to swallow. It took only a few moments before he did.

_That's a relief._

Dwalin hadn't realise he had been holding his breath.

"He needs to wake," Thorin said, his voice soft enough to be heard only by the dwarf at his side.

Dwalin closed his eyes, unsure of what to say. He couldn't reply with an encouraging 'he will' in the case Kili actually would not wake, but the bald warrior also couldn't say as much, not when his friend already seemed so crushed.

For a while, the only sound in the room was that of swallowing and breathing, the only signs that Kili was still with them at all. Eventually the swallowing silenced as the cup in Oin's hand was finally emptied.

"Now to take a look at his arms," Dwalin heard the healer mutter to himself, the dwarf clearly tired from running around between patients.

"I need to speak to you," Dwalin said as he turned to Thorin beside him. The dwarfish leader tore his gaze away from his nephew and looked up at the taller dwarf before nodding. The two made their way to the front of the fireplace across from the table. Dwalin leaned against its stony wall as Thorin sank into a chair before him.

"What is it?" the dark haired dwarf asked wearily.

"The dwarf's who were injured in the attack," the warrior began. His leader looked at him with detached eyes, his mouth set in a grim line.

"What of them?"

"Uric's dead. Oin believes Darien will not survive his wounds either," Dwalin said, the words tasting foul and bitter on his tongue.

"Reade?" Thorin asked hesitantly as if he were afraid of more bad news. Dwalin twitched the corner of his mouth.

"He will live to cause more trouble later on," the warrior replied.

"At least that is one piece of good news for today," Thorin said, combing his fingers through his hair, "Truth be told I wasn't expecting it."

"Then prepare yourself for more," a voice behind the dwarfish leader said, "For I have some to give."

"Kili?" Thorin cried, knocking his chair over in his haste to stand. Dwalin too straightened in anticipation only to slouch back down as Oin shook his head softly.

"I am afraid he is still unconscious," the healer said.

"Then what is that you want-"

"The infection on his arm seems to have been caught in time," Oin cut in, ignoring the vicious tone Thorin had been using a moment before. Dwalin raised one eyebrow.

"What do you mean caught in time?" he asked. Oin shot him a small smile.

"I mean it has not gotten worse since I last saw it," he said, "The paste I put on it seems to have done its work."

"It's gone?" Thorin asked in disbelief.

"It is beginning to fade," Oin corrected, "But it won't be completely gone for several days. As such, it cans still-"

"Can't we just leave it at that it is fading?" Dwalin asked, glancing at Thorin as he did so. Oin followed his gaze before nodding his head.

"Very well," the healer said softly.

A stretch of silence began, the three dwarves facing each other deep in their own thoughts. After a while Oin opened his mouth to speak.

"I should be getting back to my patient," he said offhandedly, moving back towards the door from which he had come.

Dwalin followed the healer, Thorin taking a moment to move before coming in close behind. Closing his eyes, the tattooed dwarf sent a quick prayer up to the heavens in hope that they would hear him and allow fate to smile upon the youngest of the line of Durin. He had only just begun to think the words, however, when a light touch at his elbow startled him back into the present.

"And in answer to your earlier question," Oin said softly, "I believe he will pull through."

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews might help me to update. ;)<strong>


	18. Chapter 18

**Thought I would finish this and update while you are still all suffering from your chocolate hangovers from easter. Hope you enjoy it, although I have been a bit bad and changed point of views at the very end.**

* * *

><p>Bofur was smoking his pipe as though his life depended on it. Images of blood, screaming and a ginormous bear continued to ravage through his mind.<p>

_Breath, just breath_, Bofur instructed himself, taking in a mouthful of air and smoke. He blew out a circle, giving a slight cough as the wind blew the smoke back in his face. It was almost never as good when inhaled a second time.

The shrill call of a bird sounded overhead, piercing the rare silence that Bofur had let fall around himself. It was a welcome sound, something other than what was going on inside his head. Simple, normal, beautiful. Everything life had been before it had gotten complicated, before Thorin's nephew had been attacked by a bear.

That was the funny thing about nature, it could be so deceptive, so contrasting between good and bad that it actually wasn't that funny at all. How could things as innocent as a bird exist in a world where there were ferocious killers like bears? It was so totally unthinkable that Bofur let out a lose chortle of insanity.

"It cannot get any more twisted than that," the toymaker said to himself in a sick glee.

"Any more twisted than what?"

Bofur breathed out another mouthful of smoke and looked in the direction of the voice. It was Dwalin.

_"…hurry or we'll lose him."_

The toymaker shook the thought from his head. _No more, _he thought sternly, _I will think of this no more._

"Bofur?"

"Never mind," the toymaker finally answered, "It's nothing." The warrior above him shifted the weight on his legs.

"He drunk the water Oin gave him." The words were said with an almost tentative air as though the tattooed dwarf was unsure whether the news would be accepted.

"That's a good sign," Bofur replied. He could feel Dwalin tense up behind him, but after a moment the bald dwarf decided to walk back inside. Bofur leaned his head into his hands.

The toymaker was torn between staying outside and returning to the room that Kili laid in to see how the lad was doing. Durin knows he wanted to see the young dwarf for himself, but the memories of the bloody night only three days before assaulted him with any small reminder.

_What should I do?_

Above him, the bird from before let out a shrill call.

"Aye, I suppose you are right," Bofur commented, allowing a small smile to grace his face. The toymaker took one last puff from his pipe before snuffing it out and placing the instrument back in his pocket. With a sigh he got to his feet and walked through the door and into the house.

Thorin acknowledged Bofur with a small nod as Dwalin moved aside to allow the dwarf past him. Moving to stand beside Oin, the toymaker looked down at Kili sadly. His eyes traced the young lad's body from the start of the bandages at his lower chest, up his arms to both his shoulders. The dwarf's eyes then alighted on Kili's face, drawn in what seemed like pain.

Bofur blinked.

"Oin...Oin!" the toymaker called, drawing the attention of four pairs of eyes. Crouching down beside the bed, Bofur allowed a large grin to break out across his face. "He's awake."

"Kili…?" Bofur heard Thorin breath behind him as Dwalin inhaled sharply by the door. Kili turned the gaze of his glinting brown eyes to his uncle, eyelids threating to shut close even as Oin rushed over with his hands full.

"Kili, can you hear me?" the healer asked as he turned the youth's head so the dark brown eyes were facing him, "Blink twice if you can." It was too late, however, for Kili had already fallen back into the depths of slumber.

Bofur stood, his eyes meeting those of Dwalin's, the two exchanging a relieved look though the warrior's gaze seemed to hold another degree of an implacable emotion. The toymaker made way for Thorin as the latter collapsed to his knees beside his now unconscious nephew. A wary joy was stretched across the dwarfish leader's face, as if he could not yet place full hope in the fact that his nephew had actually awoken.

"He will sleep for a while no doubt," Oin said as he pulled the cork from a bottle and held it to Kili's lips allowing the liquid from within to drip into the youth's mouth. Once he was done he stood and gathered his possessions. "I have given him something to dull the pain should he wake again, but I would suspect he will not until sometime tomorrow," the healer continued, "As such, I must be getting back to my other patients for there is not much more I can do here, but should anything change fetch me immediately."

"I will walk with you," Bofur said, "I have been away from my store too long." It was true for the toymaker could not remember setting foot inside his store since Dwalin had rode up with Kili.

_No, I promised myself I was not going to remember that,_ the dwarf berated himself. He reverted his attention back to the present in time to follow Oin out the bedroom door.

Stepping outside for the second time that day, Bofur breathed in the air around him and fingered the pipe at his side. He wondered whether Bifur had managed the shop at all while he had been away. A cough behind him made the toymaker turn around.

"What are you doing out here?" Bofur asked the warrior. Dwalin shrugged.

"I thought it would be best to leave Thorin alone with his nephew for a few moments," he said. Bofur frowned. There was something wrong with the tattooed dwarf's tone of voice.

"For such a happy incident you don't seem very relieved," Bofur commented not harshly, but not gently either. Across from him Dwalin sighed.

"I am relieved that Kili has woken," the dwarf began.

"But?" Bofur cut in, his eyebrows one dark smudge on his forehead.

"But I am afraid of what Kili will say when he wakes fully," the warrior finished, disheartened.

Bofur stared at him for a moment, mind wiped completely blank by surprise.

"What do you mean?" he asked. Dwalin looked down at his feet, seemingly struggling with whether or not to tell the toymaker what was on his mind. The warrior's mouth seemed to win out, however, and it was as such that he opened it again.

"Thorin may have forgiven me for my lapse in ability to look after his nephew-"

"But you're not sure Kili will," Bofur finished, catching on. The toymaker gave a reassuring smile to the taller dwarf. "You've got nothing to worry about," he said in an almost soothing tone, "The lad will understand it was an accident."

The toymaker clapped the warrior awkwardly on the back, reaching up from his smaller height. He then turned and walked down the path from the house with a bounce in his step before disappearing around the corner of another building. Dwalin watched him go with a troubled gaze.

_I can only hope he will._

* * *

><p><strong>A review or two might encourage me to keep up this streak of niceness...<strong>


	19. Chapter 19

**You all remember some hints I gave to you some chapters ago...**

* * *

><p>The world seemed as though it had fallen to pieces around him, leaving him alone in a void of eternal blackness. Then he opened his eyes and yellow light graced his vision.<p>

Kili blinked, tearing his gaze away from where it had rested looking out the window. The sun was low in the sky, signifying evening, and the young dwarf found himself wondering how long he had been out of it for.

Lifting his head, Kili winced, a sharp, dull pain flying across his arms and chest. Looking around, the young dwarf found himself to be in the room he had so often shared with his brother. Looking down, Kili regarded himself, trying to find answers to the questions inside his sluggish head. White bandages stared back up at the brown haired dwarf from beneath the covers that had been drawn up to Kili's shoulders. The youth frowned, trying to remember when he had been wounded and what the last coherent thought that he had was. He had been hunting with Dwalin. Something had happened, though Kili could not remember exactly what had occur-

"Oh," the young dwarf rasped softly, his head flopping back onto the pillow beneath it, "Oh…_Mahal._"

Kili could feel his body beginning to shake with fear as the memory of the attack assaulted him. Closing his eyes, the young dwarf tried to block out the images to no avail. Gnashing teeth followed by rage filled eyes and slashing claws rampaged through his mind, ripping and tearing and….

A door opening somewhere in the house and several muffled voices mercifully tore Kili from the nightmare inside his head.

The youth tried to focus on what was being spoken outside the room, but his mind was still slow and his hearing incomprehensible at best. Instead Kili chose to sink into the bedding around him allowing the somewhat damp cloth to lay over his body like a second skin. Breathing as deeply as his damaged chest would allow, the brunette felt himself floating on the edge of an empty abyss much like the one he had been trapped in before, not yet in its grasp but not entirely clear of it either.

Kili pried open his eyes as he heard footsteps outside the half open door to the room. He was tired, but the young dwarf recongised the hurried gait of the dwarf who was now only several feet away from him.

The injured youth watched as his brother halted beside the bed, a weary smile forming on his lips as Fili crouched down to look into his eyes.

"Kili, what have you gone and gotten yourself into now?" the blonde asked in an exasperated and slightly high strung voice. Kili made the effort to flash his teeth in one of his trademark grins, albeit a weak one, only succeeding in causing Fili's blue eyes to spark with further concern.

"I had an accident while hunting with Dwalin," Kili answered lightly, or as lightly as his hoarse voice would allow. Fili frowned, resting one hand on his brother's shoulder. Kili reached up to grab the blonde's arm in a move to reassure him, the covers falling off the younger of the two as he did so. The young brunette heard his brother draw in a shuddering breath as he beheld the bandages encasing him.

"Kili…" Fili began, seemingly lost for words. Kili's smile faltered for only a moment before he was back to trying to maintain a brave face.

"It's not as bad as it looks."

Fili frowned deeply at his brother.

"Uncle said you were attacked by a _bear, _Kili," the blonde rebuked, "How can it _not _be as bad as it looks?"

Kili's face fell, becoming a mask of barely hidden pain as his various wounds made themselves known. He had never felt more tired in his entire life, yet he did not want to fall asleep again so soon, not when he so desperately needed his brother's comfort.

"Fee…" Kili whimpered softly, his voice barely even a whisper. Fili stared down at the brunette, the angry lines on his face smoothing over in a heartbeat.

"I know nadadith," the blonde said gently, arms moving to brush the hair of his brother's forehead. Kili stared up at him with pain in his large brown eyes.

"I-"

"Kili!" came the loud cry of Dis' voice, the dwarfish woman cutting off her youngest son.

Kili flattened himself against the bed, wincing at both the noise and the movement. Dis, however, ignored this and made to sweep the young dwarf into her arms. Thorin barely stopped her in time, saving his nephew from the pain of being pulled up so soon and so abruptly after waking.

"You're awake," the stoic dwarf said with no small amount of relief as Kili silently allowed his head to be hugged tight by his mother.

"Oh, my boy," Dis cut in, smoothing Kili's hair. The youth leaned his head into her, eyes growing tired as his body protested the jostling. A cup was pressed against his lips and a moment later the brunette could hear his uncle muttering words encouraging him to drink. Kili did so, and as he swallowed he felt a rough hand press up against his forehead.

"You're fever is down," Thorin said in what could almost be mistaken for disbelief. Kili managed a confused frown.

"Fever?" he asked softly, still finding his voice from all the time he had been asleep. The brunette blinked slowly, desperately trying to keep awake as he sought an answer from his uncle. Thorin smiled down at him softly, smoothing the youth's hair back gently.

"Yes, a fever," he said in a pained voice, "It settled in almost immediately after Dwalin brought you here."

Kili didn't know whether to feel guilty or pleased that his generally stoic uncle had felt so pained over his obvious ill state of health. As it was, the thought of being pleased only deepened the guilt he felt at causing his generally stoic uncle so much pain, or at least it would have if he had not been drifting back to sleep at that very moment. Still, there was one thought in his mind that would not go away.

"Dwalin?" the young brunette asked as his uncle laid him back down on the bed, the older dwarf having somehow managed to unwind Dis' constricting arms.

"He is not here," Thorin answered softly as he pulled the covers back up around his nephew's shoulders.

"Where…then?" Kili breathed, struggling as sleep began to strengthen its pull on him.

"Rest. You need it," Thorin said, evading the question with ease. The brunette before him wrestled his eyebrows into a slight frown of worry and concern.

"Is…he…?"

"He is fine," the youth's uncle said as he retreated to the door, "Now rest."

Kili obeyed the command, not out of obedience, but because he no longer had the strength to escape the clutches of the darkness pulling at him. He could feel the presence of his mother beside him, humming softly in his ear for a short while before he could hear her light footsteps make towards the door. That left the young brunette alone with his brother, something that allowed peace to flow over Kili just as much as sleep.

"You'll be up in no time," Fili murmured in his brother's ear, Kili turning his head towards the sound as he finally fell into oblivion.

* * *

><p><span><strong>TRANSLATION<strong>

**_Nadadith_ - little brother**

**I hope this chapter lived up to your expectations, and I hope I will get some reviews for it if it did live up to your expectations. Don't worry about this fic finishing however, I still have plans I have yet to execute. ;) **

**In regards to all the reviews so far - thanks a lot. :)**


	20. Chapter 20

**First of all, as it is the 25th of April today (or at least it is here), please take a moment to remember the ANZACs (Australian and New Zealand Army Corps), especially those that fell in both World Wars:**

_**"They shall not grow old, as we that are left grow old;**_

_**Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.**_

_**At the going down of the sun and in the morning**_

**_We will remember them."_ - Ode of Remembrance (from 'For the Fallen' by Laurence Binyon)**

**Now in regards to the story: here's another interaction you all wanted. I am sorry to say it might turn out to be what you expected (and I mean this in all seriousness). In any case, here you go. Enjoy this chapter. **

* * *

><p>Dwalin gritted his teeth as he swung the hammer yet again, crashing the instrument into the metal in front of him with an almighty bang. The whole world was against him, he was sure of it. The world and the gods, both of whom seemed to take particular joy in causing him the uttermost grief.<p>

Bang.

The bear attack had shattered his confidence, namely his confidence in his ability to keep those of the line of Durin safe. The incident with Thorin and the orcs only served to deepen this feeling as well as the guilt he felt over the entire situation.

Bang.

To worsen his feelings of self doubt and guilt, one more of his men had died in Oin's care from the wounds the orcs had given him. It was a death that had been completely unexpected as well, Oin's words telling him that it would only be a matter of weeks before Reade was up and about again haunting the warrior's mind. It was now obvious the words had been blatant lies, even to the healer who had spoken them. To add insult to injury, the same healer had no idea why Reade had died so suddenly. They were all befuddled by the fact that the dwarf had been doing so well and had just suddenly…died.

Bang.

Reade's family had not been pleased to hear the news, news of which had been delivered by Dwalin. His mother had screamed at him. His father had blamed him. His three brothers had all turned their shoulders in cold anger. Reade's wife had been the worst, wailing and screaming and ripping her own hair out in handfuls. It had taken all of her family to restrain and calm her down.

Bang.

The worst part was Fili and Dis were back from their journey. Dwalin had no idea how they would react to the news that Kili had almost been killed by a bear under his watch.

Bang.

No, that was wrong. The warrior knew how they were going to react. Angry, scornful, looking for someone to blame, and that someone would be him and rightly so, but however right and just their reactions would be, Dwalin could not bring himself to face them just yet. That was why he was at the forge mutilating the metal before him instead of at the house where he could gain news of Kili's condition and if he had awoken again.

Bang.

Kili.

Bang.

He was the other reason why Dwalin was avoiding the house for the warrior knew that the young brunette would only, _could_ only blame him for what had happened.

Bang.

"There's someone here to see you," a dwarf called from beside him causing Dwalin to halt the downward fall of the hammer in his hand.

"Who?" he grunted, taking the opportunity to wipe the sweat from his forehead.

"Dis, the sister of Thorin Oakenshield," came the reply.

"I know who she is," Dwalin snapped even as his mind began to flail around for an escape, "Tell her I am busy."

"She is insistent," the other dwarf said. Dwalin had to close his eyes and breath in deeply a few times to stop him from strangling the dwarf. His problems were not the other's fault.

"Fine," he managed to grind out. The dwarf before him nodded and darted away to fetch his visitor.

Dwalin swallowed in anticipation, his mouth suddenly going dry.

The tattooed dwarf could only imagine the things that Dis would say, the things that she would scream at him about his failure to protect her youngest child for Kili was still only a child. Dwalin wasn't sure that anything could prepare him for the torrent of verbal abuse that would no doubt be hurled his way. He allowed his body to relax completely, arms falling limp at his sides as he tried to reinforce his mind, and so it was that the burly warrior was immensely surprised when instead of a flood of words, a flood of hair and flesh struck him instead.

"Thank you, thank you," was all Dis seemed able to say as she sobbed into the taller dwarf's tunic. Dwalin himself was speechless.

Awkwardly the bald dwarf patted Dis on the shoulder, neither pulling away or drawing closer to the female dwarf. Over the top of the raven head before him, Dwalin glared at the rest of the dwarves who had ceased their work in order to view the spectacle. Those on the receiving end of the warrior's glare immediately ducked their heads and continued with their work, ears still pricked for what might be said.

"What are you doing here?" Dwalin asked Dis. The female dwarf pulled back a little, a small crease forming on her forehead as she stared at the dwarf towering above her.

"You do not know?" she asked in disbelief, "My youngest son was attacked by a bear and you do not know why I am here?"

Dwalin could only shake his head in bewilderment. He could say she had come to finally grind her axe with him, but then it would not explain why she had been thanking him only a few moments before.

"No," the warrior finally said, finding his voice amongst all his confusion. Dis shook her own head in bewilderment.

"You save my son's life yet you have no idea why I am here," she said half to herself, "I thought you were smarter than that."

_Oh._

It was as if everything had fallen into place leaving Dwalin with a sudden clarity of mind. "It was Oin who treated him," the warrior heard himself mumbling.

"But it was you who fought off the bear in the first place," Dis responded, "You who brought my boy back home, and you who sewed him up before he bled to death on my table."

Dwalin bit his lip, not knowing how to respond to what had been said. Instead he chose to change the subject somewhat.

"How is he?" the warrior asked as he began to guide Dis out of the forge. The dwarfish woman smiled warmly

"He woke just as we arrived. Recongised all of us and seemed to know where he was," she replied, "He also asked to see you."

"Did he?" There was a catch in Dwalin's breathing as a wave of worry and guilt washed over him. This earned him a glance from Dis.

"He did," she confirmed, "But he was asleep when I left, so you might have to wait to visit."

"I can wait." Dwalin wasn't even sure that he wanted to visit.

_"He asked to see you."_

The tattooed warrior rubbed his face in despair. He was at a loss for what to do, and as such retreated back into the harsh comfort of the forge with all the fire and heat and noise. There he could think clearly, could decide what was best to do.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for all your reviews so far even if some of your guesses were way off base. Please review this chapter and have no fear, this story is not done yet. ;)<strong>

**Note: With the interaction between Fili, Dis and Thorin - several of you have asked about it. As was mentioned in a previous chapter way back, the pair would have been informed immediately upon their arrival. Thorin would have then filled them in on the specifics. However I am willing to do a short interaction as a separate-but-together one shot for this interaction if I get enough people asking (it is very likely that I will do it). For this story, however, there are only three points of views (Dwalin, Bofur and Kili) which is why I didn't write it as none of them were present at the time.**


	21. Chapter 21

**First up, updates will take a little longer as I am busy again (sorry). Secondly, shortest chapter so far (sorry again), but I have a small treat to make up for it, and the next chapter will definitely be longer (and is another small treat for you all). Meanwhile, enjoy.**

* * *

><p>Bofur lifted his head as the door swung open, distracted from the toy he was carving. The dwarfling who had entered his shop smiled back at him, all teeth and hair. The toymaker placed his carving down.<p>

"What can I do for you today, my Lady?" he asked. The dwarfling giggled and hid her grin behind two fists.

"Halvah has come to see your stock," the child's mother replied, "You have been closed a while."

"Family matter," Bofur replied with an apologetic grin, "Nothing that could be helped."

"And what family matter would that be?" his customer asked curiously, "If you don't mind me asking."

"It is not for me to say," Bofur said, his usual cheery self but his words filled with tightness. The female dwarf in front of him nodded in a slightly disappointed understanding before exclaiming a brief reprimand to Halvah.

"It's alright," Bofur smiled as he dove forward, catching the wooden figure before it could fully topple off the shelf. He then placed the object on a shelf higher than the one it had previously sat on. "May I interest you in a new doll, my dear?" the toymaker asked as he crouched beside Halvah. She proceeded to squeal in delight and run towards the row of rag-dolls.

"Have you heard about the nephew of Thorin Oakenshield?" the dwarfling's mother said conversationally, keeping a firm eye on her own child. Bofur, who had turned back to his chair, inhaled deeply, trying to maintain his composure. Slowly he breathed out again.

"Aye," he answered.

"An unfortunate situation. He is so young," the mother continued as though she had not paused and Bofur had not spoken, "Not too many bear attacks around here. Not too many people who survive-"

"Is that the doll you want, lassie?" Bofur interrupted, turning to his younger customer, "Are you sure? You can only choose once." Halvah nodded her head enthusiastically at the toymaker who beamed down at her and curled one end of his moustache. "Very well, I will wrap it for you."

It did not take long before both Halvah and her mother were walking out the door, the younger gurgling her goodbyes to the dwarf standing only a few feet away. Bofur responded with his own farewell before slouching back to his chair and picking up his tools to begin carving again.

The feel of the wood being manipulated by his knife soothed the dwarf, Bofur closing his eyes and empty his mind with each shaving of wood that he removed. Bifur had been in the store earlier that day creating his own toys to sell, using wood just as his cousin was using now. As Bofur breathed in, he could smell the wood dust that still lingered in the air. For a single moment everything was peaceful and then the door opened for a second time breaking the peace.

"Bofur?" a voice asked as the toymaker peeled his eyes open. The dwarf smiled and nodded his head back at the one who had asked.

"Aye," he answered, "What can I do for you, my lady?"

"Please, it's Dis," the female dwarf said, "As for what you can do, you have already done it."

Bofur blinked. "I don't understand. I haven't done anything."

This received a frown from Dis.

"First Dwalin and now you," she said heatedly, "I am here to thank you for your part in looking after my son."

"But I didn't do much," Bofur protested, splaying his hands out flat and almost dropping his carving knife.

"You looked after him when my brother couldn't, when_ I_ couldn't," came the answer.

Bofur sighed. "I suppose I can't argue with that."

A silence fell over the pair, one in which Dis pretended to inspect each of the items the toymaker had for sale. Bofur flailed around for something to say to the female dwarf, finding the wordless state the air was in to be overwhelming.

"How is the lad?" The question sprung unbidden from his lips, the toymaker's thoughts on the words his last customer had said.

_"Not too many people who survive-"_

Bofur didn't need magic to tell what the last word would have been.

"He woke just as Fili and I arrived," Dis answered, drawing the dwarf out of his hazy state.

"Was he in pain?"

Dis offered a small smile of comfort. "From what I could tell, some but not much."

"Do you mind if I…?" Bofur began.

"Not at all, not after what you have done for my family," Dis answered with a wider smile, "I need to fetch Oin in any case. Thorin would like him to look over Kili again to ensure everything is alright."

"It will be," Bofur said with a small smile of his own, his usual optimism peeking through his words, "He is a tough lad."

"He takes after his uncle," Dis said fondly.

"More so his mother," the dwarf in front of her correct. Dis flashed her teeth in appreciation before sealing her lips shut again.

"I should be going," she said finally, "You are welcome any time you wish to visit."

The female dwarf reached forward to touch the toymaker briefly on the shoulder before disappearing behind the swinging door. Bofur looked after her and heaved a sigh of relief. Things were beginning to look up.

* * *

><p><strong>I don't think this nice streak will last... Please review. :)<strong>

**My first small 'treat': In regards to that extra chapter with Fili and Dis' return, it is up and called 'Coming home'. Read if you wish and please leave a review if you haven't already.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Sorry, but again I will remind you that updates will probably be taking longer. I will try my best however. Here you go in any case. If things seem to be going slow they should be picking up again soon. And in regard to my 'second small treat' - it comes in the form of some brotherly interactions.**

* * *

><p>He had been caught off guard and disorientated, thrown from his pony only moments ago. Now he found himself on the ground, screaming almost voicelessly as claws tore through his flesh, the young brunette desperately trying to cover his face and head from the attack. What seemed like a hundred stones worth of weight was behind each blow, the force riveting throughout his entire body. With each agonizingly slow moment that passed, the young dwarf could only pray that the pain would end. Then it did and the world turned as black as his brother's golden hair.<p>

"Kili!"

The brunette slammed his eyes open, the brown orbs staring at the blue ones a hair's breadth away from his face.

"You were having a nightmare."

_More like reliving a memory. _Kili kept his thoughts to himself.

"Are you alright now?" Fili's voice sounded overly concerned as he moved back to give his younger brother space.

Kili nodded his head, wincing as pain sparked along his chest and arms. Across from him his brother didn't look too sure.

"You are sure you are fine? Do I need to fetch uncle?"

"I am fine," Kili said, trying to reassure his brother as he winced.

"You are not fine," Fili rebuked harshly. The blonde then softened his gaze just as he had done when he had first laid eyes upon his bed ridden brother. "I am sorry, Kee."

Kili struggled to pull one hand from under the sheet that constricted him. "Fee…"

"What do you need?" his brother asked hurriedly, the urgent tone from before settling in again, "Water? Are you hungry? Do you _want_ me to fetch uncle?"

Kili simply looked up at Fili, his brown eyes wide and vulnerable, saying everything that his mouth could not. The older of the two stopped his tirade of words and drew in closer, taking his brother's hand and smoothing his ruffled hair.

"It is alright. I am here and not going anywhere," the blonde said gently.

"I was…." Kili couldn't find the words he wanted. It didn't matter however, because his brother could.

"Afraid? Scared?" Fili pressed his forehead to his brother's. "You had every right to be, nadadith."

"I was more than scared," Kili breathed, drinking in his brother's presence.

"I can't imagine what it must have been like." Fili had moved back to his previous position, blue eyes searching his brother's face. "Don't think about it though. You are here and that is all that matters."

"It's not like that," Kili murmured.

"Then what is it like?"

Kili couldn't answer, he didn't know how to. He remembered all too clearly the bear and the pain and his screaming, but it wasn't something that could be put into words. It was something that he didn't think he had to put into words.

"It's…it's…." Kili gazed hopelessly at his brother. The blonde gave him a small smile.

"It's alright if you can't explain it. Forget I asked. Why don't you drink something instead," Fili suggested, turning to pour the youth some water from the pitcher on the stand beside him.

The blonde then helped the young brunette to drink, allowing Kili to lean up against him. Even after Kili had drained the cup he remained by his brother, focusing contently on both their breathing.

"So you're bedridden again. Guess I shouldn't be surprised." The light jest from Fili made Kili smile slightly.

"I wonder how long it will be for this time?" he asked the air. Fili looked down on him and ruffled his hair gently.

"Knowing you, who knows?" he answered, blue eyes gleaming.

Kili winced as a more noticeable pain tore through his body. He scrunched his eyes, but otherwise did not react until the second bout of pain. This time he let out an audible gasp, scrunching his brother's tunic with his hands clearly in pain.

"It's alright," Fili soothed, barely masking his worried tone, "Mother will be back with Oin soon and he will be able to give you something."

"It's not…too bad…yet," Kili replied in between deep breaths. The brunette felt Fili brush one hand against his head, pushing aside the younger dwarf's fringe as the blonde's forehead was briefly pressed to his own head again.

"Of course it's not," Fili responded, glancing towards the door, "Here, I will lay you back down again."

Kili shook his head softly and leaned further into his brother. "No." The young dwarf craved his brother's company too much to relinquish it. To the brunette's relief his brother did not object.

There was a soft knock on the door and the fabric beneath Kili's cheek rustled slightly as Fili turned towards the sound.

"It is good to see you awake young Kili," Oin stated as he made his way into the room, Dis and Thorin close behind. The healer stopped short and looked around the room before turning to the dwarves behind him. "I should be fine with just Fili. I will tell you what you need to know after."

Thorin frowned but nodded his head, pulling Dis out with him. The two did not go far, however, staying to hover at the door instead. Oin shot them a glance and sat on the bed across from his patient.

"Are you in any pain?" he asked.

Kili mumbled into his brother's tunic, not yet wanting to leave its warmth.

"Pardon?"

"That was a yes," Fili clarified for the healer above his brother's head. From the corner of his eye Kili watched Oin tweaked one corner of his lips grimly in response.

"You will be for a while," the healer said to the brunette. Kili merely breathed into his brother's chest in response.

For a while there was silence as Oin proceeded in checking his patient besides the sound of breathing in the room and Fili's occasional murmur to Kili as the younger squirmed in pain. The blonde helped to support his brother as Oin began to change the bandages around Kili's arms and torso.

Beneath his cheek, Kili could feel Fili's breath catch in his throat as the extent of the damage that had been done to him was revealed. The brunette lifted his head slightly, brown eyes meeting the blue ones of his brother and trying to reassure the older dwarf that he was fine. As Oin continued to prod with his fingers, however, that reassurance was lost in another wince and Kili watched as Fili masked his shock with an expression of comfort instead.

"You're alright," the brunette heard the blonde breath in his ear. Kili merely closed his eyes, the pain increasing once again. He focused on inhaling the scent of his brother, made foreign from his travels yet always familiar in the way brotherly scent was. It was almost sweet in a way, musky and relaxing.

"There, finished," Oin remarked as he pulled the last bandage into place around Kili's chest.

Kili took the opportunity to fall back into his brother, biting his lip as the movement stretched his wounds. The dwarf pulled one corner of his mouth down, however, when it became clear Fili wanted to place him back on the bed. Reluctantly the brunette allowed himself to be laid back down, unable to put up much of a struggle in any case. A moment later though and Oin was lifting his head again.

"Drink," the healer ordered and Kili swallowed without hesitation. Experience had taught him to accept whatever he was given by Oin or else have the same thing forced down his throat. The older dwarf patted his head appreciatively. "You will be up in no time," he said before exiting the room, Thorin and Dis moving aside in the doorway before following.

"Kili," Fili said once the others were gone, something clearly on his mind that he wanted to voice. Kili only hummed exhaustedly in response, beginning to feel drowsy from the concoction Oin had given him. So instead Fili smiled down on his brother and stroked his hair. "Sleep nadadith. I will be right here."

* * *

><p><span><strong>TRANSLATION<strong>

**_Nadadith_ - little brother**

**Please review. **


	23. Chapter 23

**Not sure how this chapter turned out, but I sort of need to get to a certain point although the next chapter with Dwalin I can promise will be good. Anyway, enjoy.**

* * *

><p>Walking home Dwalin had mused over Dis' reaction to hearing the news of her son and his involvement. The warrior had been taken by surprise that the female dwarf had decided to forgive and even thank him for his actions in regards to the bear attack. Despite his obvious guilt in the matter, Dis had forgiven him as had Thorin. This confused Dwalin to no end.<p>

_Do I not deserve to be blamed?_ Now Dwalin wasn't so sure.

The tattooed dwarf thought back to the incident that had started all the chaos, trying to make sense of everything swimming in his head. He had gone hunting with Kili, had suggested it to take the youth's mind off his brother's absence. They had been hunting a deer when Kili's pony had been spooked. It had thrown the dwarf and then the bear had attacked, and he had reacted.

_I did everything I could,_ Dwalin thought as the memories ran through his head. _What else could I have done?_

The tattooed dwarf was at a loss for what to think. True Kili had been injured, but Dis had said he had awakened meaning the worst was over. Even if he had done something wrong it couldn't have been so bad if the young dwarf was recovering. There was another factor that Dwalin was forgetting however. Kili had asked to see him. The warrior had no idea whether that was a good thing or not. What was more Dis had said nothing of Fili or what state the young blonde was in.

As the warrior made it home, doubt began to settle in again and Dwalin found himself wondering if he should have done more, if he _could_ have done more to protect his young charge. He knew he should have been keeping a better watch on the youth.

But Kili was awake.

He knew he should have killed the bear when he had the chance.

But Kili was awake. Wasn't that all that mattered?

Dwalin sat by the table, his eyebrows drawn in a dark frown as his mind battled itself. Dis had forgiven him, yet Kili wanted to see him and he had heard nothing of the youth's brother whatsoever. The dwarf knew that Fili at least would not forgive him for his part in the bear's attack. He knew the blonde wouldn't let him get off so easy.

But Kili was awake.

"What is this?" Balin's shocked voice rebounded around the room. Dwalin did not bother to lift his head.

"Dis came to visit me in the forge," the warrior said.

"And what did she say?" Balin asked, "That she forgave you? Or that she was grateful you saved Kili's life?"

This time Dwalin did raise his head. "How do you know that?"

"She said as much when she spoke to me," came the answer of his older brother, "And she said Kili was healing, so you have no reason, no right to be moping around."

_Try me._ Dwalin, however, was not suicidal.

"I do not understand why you are like this," Balin continued, "You have done nothing wrong."

"That does not mean it is true," Dwalin said bluntly, "I must have done something wrong for this to have happened, slipped up somewhere." Balin's look was not reassuring. The younger of the two dwarves suddenly had an urge to check that for certain no hands were wound tightly around his neck.

"Dwalin, listen to me," Balin said, his hands twisting through the empty air much to his brother's relief, "You need to stop blaming yourself. Kili is healing. Neither Dis nor Thorin blame you."

Dwalin shook his head. "Fili might. Kili might too."

"If they do I will shave my beard for fifty years," Balin replied.

Dwalin blinked and then grinned. "Don't think I won't hold you to that."

"You won't have to," came his brother's final reply.

Dwalin looked down, biting the inside of his cheek as Balin moved past him to his room. The warrior dwelled on the matter for another moment before allowing his eyebrows to smooth out again as his head began to hurt.

_A matter for another time,_ he thought to himself as he pulled several papers towards him. The tattooed dwarf stared at them, trying to read his brother's writing. The runes however, wouldn't cooperate. Kili's face kept on appearing in front of his eyes, and when it wasn't Kili's it was Reade's or Lennon's or Haram's. Ghosts of the dead really did exist and they were taking over his mind.

Dwalin stood, sweeping the parchment to one side. He drifted across the room, passing where his Balin had closed his door, to where the warrior's own door stood open. The dwarf crashed into his bed, heaving a sigh as he closed his eyes.

_"Argh!" The scream tore through the dwarf faster than the twisted blade of an orc._

Dwalin's eyes snapped open, their depths deeply distressed. A rough hand passed over them, the warrior's eyes blinking shut for a swift moment as he swept his fingers down to scratch his chin. His beard was tangled there, knotted from the breeze that had stirred up on his walk home. Grabbing a comb, Dwalin pulled his fingers free and began to work through the thick hair. Several pained grunts were elicited from him as the warrior tugged at a particularly stubborn knot.

"Argh!" Dwalin's cry mimicked the cry he had heard in his head before, only this time it was a cry of frustration.

"Here, let me do it," Balin said as he whisked into the room, much accustomed to his brother's rough habits with his hair. "How did it get like this in the first place?"

Dwalin drew his eyebrows together. "It was windy."

Balin just shook his head as he tore through the thick vines that were his brother's beard. "There, done."

Dwalin leaned back against his bed, running his fingers through his beard once more. The tattooed dwarf mumbled a gruff thanks. His brother simply smiled and walked back out of the room. Dwalin turned over onto his side, turning the corner of his mouth downward.

_"Argh!" The scream tore through the dwarf faster than the twisted blade of an orc, and Dwalin could not help but balk in his mind at the bloody sight before him._

* * *

><p><strong>Do I get a review at all?<strong>


	24. Chapter 24

**Sorry for the long update. I was caught up with some other stuff. In any case, this chapter is for Bluestarshine (hope it makes you smile). Enjoy. Also, in regards to Bofur's songs - they are not masterpieces I know, but I hope they are not too bad.**

* * *

><p>Bofur plodded happily along humming to himself a tuneless tune. Kili was on the mend, and the day was beautiful despite the blowing wind around him tearing at him with its mischievous fingers. This only made the toymaker grin wider for his hat was pulled firmly over his head, safe from sprouting wings and flying away leaving his head as bare as the heads of the dolls he made.<p>

"There once was a jolly miner who sang on his way to work,

La dee dee dee da da da he sang with a smirk.

Hello little bees in the flowers, hello trilling birds in the trees,

Hello to the sun and clouds, and the crisp morning breeze.

Hello to the drunk in the gutter, hello to the children in the streets,

Hello to the gambling brothers, the liars and the cheats.

What say you we grab a drink in the local tavern,

Fill our heads with age old ale then work in a cold dark cavern?"

The ending line of the song left his lips, leaving Bofur reminiscing about the time he had worked as a miner himself, hacking pockets of metal, precious and otherwise, from the rocky walls of the cave he disappeared into each day. He had followed his father's line of work into the said dark depths, even after his father had been crushed by a rock fall losing the use of one arm. When Bifur had been injured however, Bofur had decided to change his line of work to something less dangerous and so he began making toys. It was not a change he had minded however, seeing the smiles on the faces of children was more than enough for him.

"Down a hole we go, swinging hammers to and fro,

Digging metal in the cave to hoard and stow.

We will find silver, we find gold,

We find metal that can be sold.

And with every chip that we free,

It's another coin for you and me."

The tunes kept on coming, springing from Bofur's memories unbidden, but not unwelcome. The toymaker kept on his way to the destination in his head, barely stirring from his path save to offer a cheery greeting to those he passed. He joked of a miner who was afraid of the dark, and a drunkard that would down entire barrels in one go. Then he arrived, the door before him closed, yet welcoming all the same.

"My lady," the toymaker said as he took his hat off in greeting to the dwarf who answered the door.

"Dis," the female amended sternly before shaking her head. "Please, come in."

Bofur entered through the door and looked around. "How is he?"

"Still asleep I presume," Dis answered, closing the exit behind him before retreating back to where she had been patching up several shirts, "His brother is with him."

Bofur tweaked the corner of his mouth. "Aye, if I were Fili I would not want to leave his side either."

"We are just lucky Kili hasn't started complaining of being confined to his bed yet," Dis said good humoredly.

"It won't be long before he does by my reckoning," Bofur replied with a grin. The toymaker then looked around. "Where is Thorin?"

"Catching up with some of his duties I presume," came Dis' answer. She then turned to look at the door across from her. "Go right in. I am sure Fili will not mind."

Bofur frowned in confusion. "What?"

"You are here to see Kili are you not?" Dis answered. Bofur nodded his head and muttered a half embarrassed yes, allowing Dis to steer him towards the room her sons were in.

"Fili won't mind will he?" The toymaker had to ask knowing how he got when his own brother and cousin were sick.

Dis shook her head with a reassuring smile. "Not at all. You are considered almost an uncle to them, an unruly one mind you and some of the stories you tell them are far from appropriate."

The toymaker glanced at Dis a moment taking in what she had said. Then he pulled himself together.

"The inappropriate stories would be Dwalin's doing not mine," he said before encroaching upon the solitude the Fili and Kili had created.

When Bofur slide past the door, his view of the youngest Durin was obstructed by a head of blonde hair. Fili glanced over his shoulder towards the toymaker and offered a small nod of greeting before turning back to his slumbering brother.

"He will wake soon." The words pierced the air with carefully contained optimism.

Fili did not look up. "He needs the rest."

"Aye. That is true," Bofur acknowledged with a nod of his own, "Considering he will be trying to run, walk and fly all at the same time in the very near future against Oin's expressed wishes."

This elicited a small smile from the young dwarf beside the bed, the blonde's blue gaze still locked on his brother's form. "I think that uncle would tie him down before he had the chance to do any of those things, let alone all three of them at once."

"You might be right," Bofur chuckled softly before sobering up again. "I am sorry with what happened."

Fili shrugged. "It is not your fault."

Bofur did not respond, not knowing what to say. So instead he moved to lean against a wall, folding his arms over his ribs and letting out a deflating breath.

"Hakim was a dwarfish miner with a very funny fear,

This fear was something very big and something very queer.

Each day he would go down to mine to find some dirt and rocks,

And each day he would receive very many shocks."

The words were mumbled, barely audible in the air yet they drew the attention of the second youngest dwarf in the room. Bofur fell silent again at the blue eyed glance, yet was surprised when Fili shook his head slightly.

"You can keep going if you want," he said.

Bofur frowned. "You don't mind?"

"No," came Fili's response. Bofur drew in a breath and paused for a moment, before choosing to exhale words.

"You see in the rocky mines it was very deep and dark,

Light by candles and lanterns and the odd golden spark.

Hakim was deemed very brave by dwarfish measure,

But in the darkened mines he could find no pleasure.

He would hear sounds in the darkness of banging and shouts,

Not knowing they were merely dwarves searching for new routes.

So one day he took an axe and followed the strange noise,

Lost his footing in the black and fell down with much poise."

Fili smiled again and this time looked up to the toymaker. "I've always wondered whether that actually happened."

"It might have," Bofur replied with a grin, "Miners were well known to loose their way and walk off the edge of a path when I still worked as one."

"No, I mean a miner being afraid of the dark," Fili said.

Bofur shrugged. "I know I was when I first started out. My father had to drag me in the first day I was too work."

Fili raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "Really?"

"I got over it eventually," Bofur said with a cheery grin, "But it took a while for me to go back in a second time. An entire month I think it was."

The blonde dwarf before him shook his head and glanced back down at his brother. "Who would have known you were afraid of the dark?"

"It happens," the toymaker replied good humoredly, glad to see the blonde smiling despite his obvious worry for his brother. The only problem was that Bofur wanted to see the same smile on Kili's face as well. "It must have been a shock to come home and find your brother like this."

"At least he was awake when I arrived," Fili replied, seeming not to want to dwell on the matter, "He is also healing."

_I don't suppose one could ask for more._ The thought echoed around Bofur's head like the sound of pickaxes in a mine.

"Why did he have to get into trouble at all?" Fili's words did not seem to address anyone in particular. "I knew. I knew that something would happen. Something always does when I'm not here to watch him."The blonde's words were getting more agitated with each passing moment.

"It's not your fault," Bofur cut in, unable to stand there any longer, "There was nothing you could have done, nothing anyone could have done."

"There should have been something that could have prevented me from returning home to a brother that is practically torn to shreds," Fili ranted.

"If there was do you not think that your uncle or I would have done it, that Dwalin would have done it when he took the lad hunting?" Bofur said, "I am sorry lad, but this is the way fate played out."

Fili bowed his head. "I suppose you are right."

"Right about what?" The question was so unexpected that it took a moment for both Bofur and Fili to realise where it had come from.

"Kili!" Nothing could disguise the joy in Fili's voice.

"Good to see your eyes open lad," Bofur smiled, his eyes looking warmly down on the youngest dwarf in the room.

"Bofur?" The question was a weak one, but it made the toymaker smile none the less.

"Aye laddie. It's me," he said as he leant forward to ruffle the youth's hair. Kili winced a smile in reply.

"Do you need more of the drink Oin gave you before?" Fili asked only to have his brother shake his head, Kili's eyes still locked on Bofur.

"Do you remember anything?" the toymaker asked. He watched as Kili frowned for a moment.

"No," the youth said as he scrunched his eyes in thought, "It's all…blurry, but I remember you saying something."

"You were out of it when Dwalin brought you in," Bofur informed the youth. He paused for a moment, watching Kili stare back at him. "I have tarried here long enough, so I will take my leave. Don't worry, you'll be up and about in the blink of an eye, or thereabouts." The words kept flowing from his mouth even as the toymaker retreated through the door.

Looking around Bofur spotted Dis in the corner, dozing in a chair with her stewing on her lap. He smiled slightly at the sight of the generally strong woman looking so gentle before backing out the door.

"You can stop by any time you like," a voice called behind him.

Bofur turned to face Dis who had not risen from her chair.

"I know Kili would enjoy your stories," the dwarfish woman continued, "Fili too."

"It would be my pleasure to share them," Bofur said, before swiping his hat off in an exaggerated farewell. "Until next time, my lady."

"It is Dis," the woman called after him, her words carried by the breeze in the air that had somehow managed to steal Bofur's hat from his head sending the toymaker chasing it down the street.

* * *

><p><strong>Don't worry, I have plans. They just haven't come into play yet. Meanwhile could I have a review please?<strong>


	25. Chapter 25

**Hello. So, while you are all thanking whatever it is that you want to for the fact that I finally updated, i just wanted to say sorry. Life has been hectic as of late, and it is probably going to get a lot more hectic (I am learning how to drive so that will take up some of my time). In any case, I also have my own writing off here that I want/need to do so yeah. Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter though it might not be the best (next chapter will definitely make up for it ****though). **

* * *

><p>Kili watched his brother from the corner of his eyes, weaving his fingers through the sheets at his side. Bofur had gone, seeming to have taken the somewhat more relaxed air with him. Now the room had filled with an indescribable sort of tension.<p>

"Is there anything to drink?" Kili couldn't bare the silence and his mouth felt drier than the coal.

Fili extended his arm to the jug on the table and the cup beside it. "Here."

The older dwarf made to lift his brother up, but Kili shook his head. The youth squirmed around, drawing in a sharp frown before managing to move his back up against the head of the bed. This coaxed a smile from Fili, the blonde adjusting the pillows behind his brother's back before allowing Kili to sip from the cup.

"So you don't remember the attack?" Fili's question brought up flashes of alternating growling and screaming.

Kili closed his eyes and drew in a breath. "I don't remember much of what happened after before waking. There was a moment when I thought I recongised someone, uncle maybe or Bofur, but it's not…clear. I was…out of it at the time."

The brunette could still remember the felling of his body being in spasm, the feeling of hitting the ground, jolting his bones in the process. A presence had been there, but the young dwarf had been too disorientated and confused to take notice of his surrounds.

Fili, oblivious to his brother's discomfort, smiled reassuring and ruffled the younger dwarf's hair. "It doesn't matter. You're lucid now."

Kili merely closed his eyes again, not wanting to think about anything that had happened. "How was your trip?" The question was unexpected.

"My trip?" Fili repeated, his eyes blinking in surprise. "Uh, I guess it was alright for the most part. Travelling there and back was boring, but I did find…. What am I talking about? You were injured, are injured. You don't want to hear about-"

"I was the one who asked," Kili cut in, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards at his brother's reaction. The youth's brown eyes held the older dwarf's own blue gaze.

"I missed you." Fili's words were as honest as they could come.

Kili sneaked one hand over the top of the one beside him. "As did I."

The blonde across from him was silent for a moment, the dwarf dropping onto the bed in such a way that he could lean his head against Kili's shoulder. Fili sighed, letting out a rush of air that brushed at his brother's hair.

"I wish that for once that I could go somewhere and leave you and not have to return with you somehow injured," he said, neither blaming or condemning his brother. His words were spoken as if they were almost meant for the air alone, but still they drifted to a second pair of ears.

Kili looked down at where the blankets hid his legs from view. The brown haired dwarf knew the exasperation his brother felt was justified, yet he also knew that he could not help his nature, if it could even be described as his nature. From as young an age as he could remember the young dwarf could not think of a time when he had not somehow been in a 'risky' situation or had gone a single day without a bruise gracing his exterior looks.

Kili flexed the fingers of his right hand inconspicuously. The movement did not lessen the discomfort in his right arm, yet the brunette did not want to make a bigger deal out of it for fear of his brother overreacting.

"It could have been worse, you know." The words that had sprung from Kili's lips were the first to have entered the youth's head. Beside the brunette Fili pulled a face making the younger of the two wish that he had kept the thought to himself.

"If by worse you mean you could have been killed…." The blonde looked up to his younger brother. "I don't want to think about what could have happened, Kee. It's bad enough you are torn up this badly already."

Kili tore his gaze away from the blue eyes of his brother and fixed them on the door at the end of the room. "I understand."

The youth began to fidget again, bending his arm as far as the bandages constricting it would allow. The pain in the limb was beginning to make him restless, but the brunette tried his best to remain still so as not to jostle his brother.

"Are you hungry?"

Kili merely shrugged, trying to maintain the blankness that had taken over his mind for the past few moments. From the corner of his eyes the brunette could see Fili analysing him.

"When was the last time you ate?"

Kili shrugged again, closing his eyes and leaning back against the wall as his brother pulled away from him. A stern finger prodded the brunette's side prompting him to reopen his eyes. "I don't know," Kili said, half frowning at Fili's blonde hair.

"I'll talk to mother about getting you something," the dwarf's brother said. Kili nodded and watched as his brother stepped out of the room.

Humming softly to himself, the young dwarf tried to lay back down on the bed. He stopped, however, when a flash of pain ripped through him from the movement of his wounds.

"Need some help brother?" Fili's question had a light tone to it. The blonde drifted over to help Kili down. "Mother is going to make you a broth. She agrees that you need to put something in your stomach."

Once he was settled flat on the bed, Kili allowed his eyes to drift close again. His muscles were yearning to be stretched, yet his wounds had protested such actions once already. A light tap on the head managed to draw the brunette's attention back to his brother.

"Don't go to sleep yet or mother might think you don't like her cooking," Fili teased.

Kili offered a small tweak of the lips. "And if I go to sleep regardless?"

"Then I would just have to wake you up again."

Kili closed his eyes in complete safety. "You would not."

The brunette could hear his brother sigh beside him as he dragged a chair closer to the bed. Kili huddled beneath the covers before changing his mind, the warmth they provided only serving to add to the warmth he already felt. He squirmed around a little, trying to get comfortable before a hand came down to smooth the hair on his forehead.

"Alright?" The single word contained all the love that Fili held for his brother.

Kili smiled around his pulsing arm and head, eyes still closed. "I'm fine."

Fili smiled back at the youth and ruffled his hair. "I know, nadadith, I know."

* * *

><p><strong>Next chapter should be up sooner because I know what I am going to write. In any case, is it still possible to get a review?<strong>


	26. Chapter 26

**You have my cat to thank for this chapter. It was not until earlier today that he finally pinned me down by laying on my legs, and being big, heavy and long it is not easy to get out from under him so I had no choice but to type away. In any case, fingers crossed for a faster update which may or may not happen, but after next week there will be a bit of a break for me so hopefully i'll be able to write more. In any case, hope you enjoy this chapter. ;)**

* * *

><p>Across the table Dwalin was beginning to tire of his brother's eyes boring into him. The white bearded dwarf was unhappy with the fact that his brother had opted to sit around the house as opposed to going where Balin clearly thought he needed to go.<p>

"You're not doing yourself any favors by refusing to go and see the lad or his brother."

Dwalin merely snorted at his brother's words. "I am not refusing anything."

"You are," Balin chided, "And you know it."

Dwalin did not answer, returning back to tearing apart the bread in his hands and inflicting his frustrations on it with his clashing teeth. Through the window opposite him it was clear night was falling, yet the sun appeared to still be making an attempt to fight the darkness back.

With an exasperated sigh Balin excused himself from the table, sending his brother one last irritated glance before moving off to his study. Dwalin did not need to watch him go in order to know that the older dwarf was most likely cursing his apparent thick headedness with silently mouthed words.

The bread in Dwalin's mouth seemed to turn to a tasteless paste, as if he had been chewing it too long before swallowing. The warrior supposed he had been doing the same thing with the thoughts in his head, chewing on them for too long without actually coming to a decision.

_Since when does a dwarf avoid conflict? _Dwalin shook his head at himself. _Since when does a dwarf become a coward?_ That was a better question.

Disgusted with himself Dwalin pushed away from the table, the rest of his meal left untouched on his plate. The burly dwarf just stood aimlessly for a few moments, trying to figure out what to do.

In the end it was his feet who chose where to go.

Stepping out into the coolness of the dusk, Dwalin felt himself moving towards the thing that in his mind was repeatedly calling his name, calling the warrior to it to face up to what he had done. Weaving his way between houses and the last of the blacksmiths and miners scurrying home for the night, the bald dwarf began to smooth out the turmoil that was his mind. In the peace of the darkened air things did not seem as bad as they had before.

Dwalin exhaled a large breath of air as he drew closer to his destination, the shadowy tree tops just visible over the gate that loomed before him. A few stray lights pricked the now blackened sky, but the darkness did not deter the tattooed dwarf from climbing up to see over the wall.

Everything was silent save for the softly blowing wind and the rhythmic clomp of a sentry's feet close by. Little sparks of silver spotted the inky blanket above the forest which had donned a garment of shadows and moonlight itself. Dwalin flexed his hands against the rough stone beneath them, the pads of his fingers scrapping almost uncomfortably along the grainy surface.

The warrior felt as though in that single moment he was perhaps the calmest he had been in a long while. Standing atop the battlements, although he was not within the midst of the forest, it seemed to Dwalin as though everything was finally slowing down to a pace he could keep up with. All his emotions had fled from him for an unknown reason, but in doing so they had been caught in a net and laid before the burly dwarf like a prize catch of fish. The guilt, the fear, the failure – all had been rid of their hooked claws that had been sinking too deep into his flesh of late.

_Damn Balin._ Dwalin knew it had been his brother who had shaken some sense into him, the older dwarf always seeming to know what to say in order to get to his brother. Balin, Dwalin realised with a fondness, had always been able to see straight through him, had always been able to kick start him into action.

The warrior started as an unseen force brushed up against his legs. Looking down, the dwarf was surprised to see that had cat had somehow found its way up onto the top of the gate protecting Erid Lurin from outside forces. The creature blinked up at him with glowing eyes that coolly regarded every feature of the warrior's face before began to wind its way between his legs once more and disappearing into the night rumbling like an avalanche.

Shaking himself free of the distraction, Dwalin stared back out into the open air that in turn was disrupted by the occasional treetop and soaring owl. Kili – the young lad was the problem he had been avoiding, but no more. The boy deserved to be able to tear into him if he wanted for it was Dwalin's fault that Kili had been hurt. The lad was healing however, and it was Dwalin's responsibility to check on the young dwarf and see that he made a full recovery. It was also his responsibility to see the lad for another reason too, this one being to apologise for all that had befallen the youth.

The tattooed dwarf sent one last glance over the side of the wall before turning to climb back down the way he had come. The streets were now largely empty, ruled only by the scurrying vermin and odd animal that took delight in the darkness of the night. Dwalin held no such feelings however, and he discretely brushed his side up against a wall to keep out of the way of any obstacles that might suddenly confront him. Every now and then a lantern broke through the blackened glass of the hour blinding the dwarf with its brilliant light.

It did not take long for the warrior to follow the path to his second destination for that night, following the same path he had ridden so desperately through barely a week before. Dwalin could still smell the sweat of the mount that had been below him at the time, a scent mingled heavily with that of coppery blood. He could still hear each of his steed's labored breaths, each of his own erratic ones as he tried to hone in on the sound of Kili's own barely audible breaths as he had ridden straight towards the lad's home. He could still see the door that had blocked his way into the house as he had pulled the limp Kili into his arms, the door that still blocked his way to the lad as it loomed before him.

Breathing in deeply to steady his nerves, the warrior rapped his knuckles swiftly against the door once, twice, three times. It took a moment longer than Dwalin expected for the same door to be opened.

"What are you doing here?"

The question was not what Dwalin had expected for his age old friend nor was the tone of indifference. "I came to see the lad."

Thorin looked over to the room where both his nephews were holed up and then back towards his friend.

"Kili's fever shot back up." The words were said with what seemed like a despairing resignation.

"It can't be all that bad," Dwalin replied, brow furrowed. "He pulled through before."

Thorin looked at the warrior with eyes that screamed for a reprimand from the pain they were being forced to suffer, that his nephew was being forced to suffer. "His arm, it's infected. Badly."

Dwalin blinked and closed his eyes, suddenly feeling the need to lean on the doorframe for support. "Mahal."

_Mahal. What am I supposed to do now?_

* * *

><p><strong>First up, somewhere deep in your minds you knew this was going to happen (and I did hint at it last <strong>**chapter), so no hate mail. Secondly, I know it is a bit of a jump from last chapter to this one, but I wanted it to be. In any case, the gap will be filled in a couple of chapter's time so bear with me for the moment, but the things I write, I write for a reason (for the most part anyway). Lastly, could you please review. I would be extremely grateful for them.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Sorry for the latish update, but I promise you that next chapter should be up by the weekend (I have already written half of it). Anyway, enjoy. And thanks for the ****  
><strong>

* * *

><p>The sun was shinning, the streets were crowded with those going about their business, and Bofur had never been more relieved in his life, save for the time when he had been informed Bifur would make it through. It now had been five days since Kili had been attacked by a bear and the lad was presumably healing well despite any pain he might be in.<p>

_It can only get better._ Bofur hoped the thought would not prove to be a lie.

The toymaker squinted as he peered out his store window, the sun glaringly bright. His fingers picked away at the splinter he had been gifted with earlier by a bird he had been carving. His nose wrinkled in distain at the wood dust that floated in the air. He then puckered his lips and began to whistle a tuneless tune.

The dwarf felt reenergised after finally being able to sleep without being plagued by worries about whether or not Kili would make it another night. Bofur knew his cousin felt the same way too, if only because he had stopped pacing outside Bifur's door for the duration of the night. The large dwarf could become very irritable if aggravated, and once that happened no one could get any sleep.

"Wonderful," Bofur gasped softly as the slither of wood he had been working on finally worked its way out, popping into the open along with a few speckles of blood. "Now let's see if I can finish this bird."

To anyone else, the act of the toymaker talking to himself would have been cause for concern or a since of senility. To the toymaker himself, however, it was a normal, natural thing and the dwarf took no shame in the practice. Neither did his cousin, who was at the current point in time sitting beside him, judge him for it.

Thanking Bifur for passing him back the incomplete wooden bird, Bofur took up his knife and began to whittle away at the pine. This wood was soft, not as soft as the cotton he used to make the frocks of the dolls he sold, but softer than the wood he usually used. It smelt like the forest as well, tangy and crisp like the magnificent tree it had once been a part of. Now it was a crippled bird with an incomplete wing and tail.

The toymaker hoped that the small toy would bring happiness to one or more dwarflings. He hoped the same thing with all his toys, but Bofur had already had to rip three splinters from his fingers and Bifur had to help bandage his palm from when his knife slipped. The detail in the carving was far from what Bofur usually tried to achieve, each feather at the end of the right wing clearly visible, the eyes beady and almost alive.

Bifur had gone for lunch when Bofur finished the bird, smiling at his craftsmanship. Stretching, he set down his instruments and glanced outside.

"I guess it's about time I took a break," he said with a small grin as he closed the store door behind him. The toys on the shelves shuddered slightly at the force, appearing as though they were waving goodbye.

Whistling, the toymaker relished the warmth on his cheeks and the tip of his nose. He hated it when there was a cold wind in the air, because no matter how much he bundled on his cheeks and nose would also be exposed to the frigid air. It was also hard to be down when the sun was so very high up.

Bofur's tune took him right to the door of the place where another cheery sun was beginning to rise. Stilling his lips, the dwarf made himself known to those inside.

"Dwalin?" The toymaker could not mask his surprise at seeing the dwarfish warrior before him.

"Aye," Dwalin replied simply, his tone of voice even more surprising.

Bofur was afraid to ask. "Is every alright with the lad?"

As if in answer Oin strode across the room behind Dwalin to the out of sight kitchen, a determined look stretched across his face. The last hope that Bofur had was burned to an ashy husk almost immediately.

"What…?" the toymaker asked as he sagged limply against the empty air absently pushing his hat down onto his forehead, dumfounded. "What is it?"

Dwalin needed only one word to answer in his emotionless voice. "Bad infection."

Bofur merely shook his head in disbelief, still staggered from the news. "No. No…. Why? Why of all…. He was doing so…so…." The words refused to come out properly, the dwarf forcing out noiseless air rather than sound. The toymaker looked up to the warrior in front of him. "I thought… How did it come about? When did it…it happen?"

"You would have to ask Thorin or Dis," Dwalin answered flatly.

Bofur closed his eyes. "Durin's beard…. How are they taking it? How's Fili taking it?"

"Not well," Dwalin said gruffly, looking as though he was slowly being drawn back in to the sick room.

Bofur stood in the doorway, thinking. He desperately wanted to see the lad for himself, to see if what Dwalin had said was true, but with the dwarfling's family as well as Oin and Dwalin already in the house it would prove to be crowded. There was nothing that made Bofur more uncomfortable than a group of people pathetically waiting for news of a sick loved one. It was something that had developed when he had been waiting for news of Bifur with his brother and his brother's entire family and had not lost over the years. Many people usually meant that the chances of pulling through were slim.

"Give them my sympathies," the toymaker finally said to the warrior in front of him. Dwalin nodded his head in ascent before stepping back inside and closing the door all the while giving a mumbled farewell.

Bofur stood there a moment more, eyes downcast as greying clouds overtook the once shinning sun. Then he turned and walked back the way he had come, a bounce no longer evident in his step. The wooden bird he had been carrying hung limply in his hand, forgotten.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for the reviews. :) Glad you still like this story even after what I did last chapter. So as a proposal to you - if I get 380 reviews before I update the next chapter, I will give you a small hint for the chapter after when I update. :)<strong>


	28. Chapter 28

**A fast update this time, though I'm not sure how good this chapter is. It was incredibly hard to write (which you will probably see why as you read), but in any case I hope you enjoy it. ****  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Kili twisted and turned in discomfort on the bed, his right arm feeling as though it had been stuck in a forge and left to catch fire in the multitude of flames beneath it. From the corner of his eye the young dwarf could see his brother eyeing his uncle questioningly, pleadingly. The brunette had no doubt the look was about him.<p>

"Isn't there something you can do?"

The desperate voice belonged to his mother, someone who Kili would give anything to be in their embrace. He would even be willing to dreg up the last of his strength and push through the scorching fire that engulfed him in order to seek comfort from perhaps the one being in all of Middle Earth who could hold him and make everything alright. He did not have the capability to perform such a feat however, let alone mutter the words that he needed his brother to hear.

_I'll be fine._ Even the youth himself didn't believe the words.

A hand came to smooth his forehead, Kili leaning into the familiar strokes. They anchored him where he needed to be, where he wanted to be, puling him out of his crippling pain ever so briefly. The rhythmic strokes continued on convincing Kili to close his eyes for a moment.

And then the young dwarf was being shaken away again by the same hands, hands that belonged to his uncle.

"Stay awake for me lad," came the dwarf's deep voice. Kili merely blinked his bleary eyes, groaning out loud as the pain that had been banished from before came rushing back.

The brunette felt himself being propped up, golden locks waving in front of his face before being flicked back as he was adjusted against a chest. Another, Oin, began to grasp at his arm and the bandages wrapping it. Kili gritted his teeth in pain as the healer removed the cloth from his pained limb, the air a weird sensation against his exposed flesh. Then Oin applied what was the first of a salve and Kili found himself digging his weakened fingers into his brothers arm, the pain from his own arm intensifying to an almost unbearable height.

"It's alright. I've got you. Just hold on."

Kili moaned at the words, his eyes flickering halfway between open and shut before they decided to give up altogether, his face seeking refuge in the warm cloth of his brother's shirt. The voice above him continued to speak, but it was drowned out by the rushing blood in his ears and the feeling of rough fingers deliberately smoothing a grain like paste over the already aching wounds on his arms. Kili grunted in resistance as his face was turned from his brother, chest exposed to receive the same treatment as his arms had.

"Almost done."

The young brunette had no idea who had said those words – Oin, his brother, his uncle – all were possibilities. His sweaty hands were just as confused, unsure whether they were clutching the fabric of his brother's shirt or the sheets on the bed. The times when they were clutching at the bed, other hands – presumably his mother's, for the hands that gripped his were feminine – were kind enough to move and hold them in position. At one point the young boy chose to open his eyes a fraction. He could see his mother's worried face, his uncle close behind her and the top of Oin's head. He could see another larger figure hovering in the doorway, but his mind was too frayed to recongise who it was.

Kili closed his eyes as he cringed back into his brother, a sharp stinging sensation from the deep but sewn up gashes in his chest causing a wetness to obscure the surface of his eyes. The last strange pull of bandages against his skin brought an end to the uncalled for abuse to the youth's wounds. A light tap on his cheek pulled his eyes opened once again.

Oin murmured in thought as he pulled his face away from that of his patient.

"Hey nadadith," Fili whispered in his brother's ear, "You're alright." Kili allowed his head to loll against the blonde's shoulder, the corner of his mouth tweaking wearily. The expression quickly twisted into a frown however, a bout of pain flowing up from his waist and fingertips to his head.

The brunette allowed his eyes to drift shut once more, a small whoosh of air escaping his lips. Something was pressed to his lips and a liquid slid down his throat, among other tastes that of crushed leaves lingering in his mouth. Kili felt himself being lowered by two sets of hands, one more so acting as comfort rather than support. There were footsteps as someone shuffled out the room, more as another moved closer in order to place their lips against his forehead.

The fevered youth writhed where he laid. "Amad?"

"Hush now, my son. All will be fine. You will be better soon, but for now you must rest." Then his mother's presence was gone, fading out of the room like the dwarf before her had.

Kili felt the whiskers of his uncle brush against his cheek next, followed closely by the newly sprouted ones of his brother. Both presences then drew away. The two dwarves spoke and an agreement was made. The last thing Kili heard was his another pair of footsteps move away after one last hand brushed aimlessly at his hair.

Now left to his own devices, the brunette allowed most of himself to still, things beginning to become dull and distant to him, the foremost being his own mind. Kili exhaled another rattled breath through his lips, not wanting to lose control of his mind. Reigning in his focus, the youth allowed the rubbing of his fingertips against the sheet he laid on to take over his path of thinking. For a long while that was all he focused on before moving out to include the pinpricks of pain he still felt along his wounded flesh. Again he waited to broaden his field of focus, this time including his breathing and the up down motion of his expending and retracting chest. The third time Kili took a mental step to further his area of concentration the subtle sounds of movement on either side of him pierced his mind.

It took a much longer period of time until Kili was finally able to focus on the presences either side of him.

The first emitted a sense of deep mourning and loss, loss not so much aimed at his predicament as it was the sheer hopelessness of the entire situation. This presence was silent, taking up only the space it needed for its material figure, but it also spoke volumes in a way Kili knew only one dwarf could.

On his other side the young brunette could sense another presence, this one larger than that of its counterpart. The presence, unlike the other, was not silent and from it emitted a string of words repeated over and over until they began to bore their way into the very core of Kili's mind.

_"I'm sorry."_

Kili had no idea what the presence was sorry for. The youth took a moment to try and find the answer among his clouded thoughts, yet even in the brief moment he did so he began to lose the grip he had so methodically put into place on his own conciseness. So it was that Kili retreated from the matter, leaving himself in bewilderment in order to continue absorbing whatever it was that was around him, to continue to remain awake despite his lack of vision. His efforts were futile however, the youth's mind slowly beginning to unravel from his moment of lapse in careful focus purely on what was physically real.

Kili's eyelids felt like lead though they were already closed shut. His entire body seemed to have fallen victim to the pull of the oblivion, yet despite his numbed sense of feeling, the brunette could not seem to shake off his final grip on reality. The words from before still echoed around in his mind, keeping the brown haired dwarf where it was that he wanted to be. Reality, however, was able to shake its grip on the youth, and as such sent Kili plummeting into dreams that were more so memories than dreams.

* * *

><p><strong><span>TRANSLATION<span>**

**Nadaith – _Little brother_**

**Amad** – **_Mother_**

**Thanks for the reviews by the way. You guys reached 381 so yeah, thanks. That makes me extremely happy. :D And to keep up my end of the bargain, here's a little hint for what next chapter has in store:**

Dwalin sat with his head bowed and his hands knotted together in his lap. He had lost count of how many times he had apologised to the frail figure in the bed before him, yet for some reason it still did not seem like enough.

_I did this to him._ It was the simple truth.

**Fingers crossed the next update will be quick.**


	29. Chapter 29

**So, I hope this chapter makes up for my late updating (of which there was no excuse but the fact I wasn't in the mood to write). I sincerely hope you enjoy it.**

* * *

><p>Dwalin sat with his head bowed and his hands knotted together in his lap. He had lost count of how many times he had apologised to the frail figure in the bed before him, yet for some reason it still did not seem like enough.<p>

_I did this to him._ It was the simple truth.

Peeling his eyes from where they had sat half open, the warrior glanced up to where Fili had relieved his uncle on vigil. The blonde was watching over his brother the same way a female dog watched over its newborn pups.

Fili had not spoken a word to Dwalin since the warrior had set foot in the house. It made the silence now all the more uncomfortable, like he had struck his thumb with a hammer hours ago and it was still throbbing from the abuse. In a way he had been struck though, and the appendage was still throbbing all too painfully, only it wasn't the warrior's thumb. No, it was his heart. Looking to Kili and the pain clearly etched on his unconscious face, the dwarf allowed his lips to be pushed open once more.

"I'm sorry."

"Will you stop saying that!" Fili's words were almost as scathing as they were surprising.

Dwalin flicked his gaze back up to the blonde. "Stop what?"

"Saying your sorry," Fili growled, his blue eyes flashing with a dark and swirling emotion. The look was enough to put Dwalin at unease, sealing the warrior's lips for what would be the rest of his vigil.

The room fell back into the awkward tension from before, with two waiting for some sign that the youngest would pull through. The red brush of fever seemed to mock them, as did Kili's sweated forehead and the twisted claw that was his hand. Dwalin's own hands were caught between being twisted claws and the normal ends of his arms as he fidgeted with his leg, not one for merely sitting still. He was a warrior who had been taught to fight, not a healer who had been taught the art and skill of patience. Fili seemed to have the same problem, not that it surprised Dwalin. The blonde's blood was that of the line of Durin, born warriors and leaders, although he did have somewhat more patience than that of his younger brother and even his uncle from time to time. This was not one of those times, however, and the youth had been constantly switching between kneeling at his ailing brother's side and merely holding the younger dwarf's hand whilst seated in a chair.

Kili mirrored his brother's inability to keep still though his eyes were still tightly shut barriers against the awareness of his mind. First one hand would twitch, and then the other. His eyelids were waver every so often in their strength, and his head moving slowly from side to side as time wore on. The cold rag on his head trickled water down the sides of his face, the individual droplets getting caught in his tangled hair. If Dwalin listened close enough, he swore he could hear the sound of the liquid catching on the skin of the young dwarf before him.

It was enough to drive him insane.

Across from him Fili stood, seeming to be unable to keep a hold of his nervous energy anymore. The blonde paced from wall to wall on his side of the sick room, stopping every now and then at the side of his brother's bed. He seemed to be chewing on a thought, or so Dwalin observed, the older of the two tensing up as he waited for the finale piece of the tarnished mask to fall to the ground and reveal everything that there was to reveal.

Finally became clear Fili could not keep silent any longer. "Of all things that could have happened I was not expecting to return home to this."

Dwalin lifted his gaze to where the blonde was standing, opening his mouth to reply. He didn't have the chance however as Fili was not yet done.

"What is more," the young dwarf said, his lips stretched tight in a mocking grin, "Is the fact that he was under the care of someone I thought I could trust." The sentence ended with Fili looking pointedly at the only other conscious dwarf in the room.

Dwalin merely hung his head in shame, unable to maintain eye contact through his unwavering guilt.

Fili straightened his back, a harsh frown now decorating his regal features. "You were supposed to be looking out for him, keeping him out of any danger. He was your charge, yet you let him get attacked anyway, and by a bear no less."

Again Dwalin tried to talk, but again he was overruled.

"Then you left him open to infection, the reason why my little brother is laying almost lifeless before me," Fili continued, his volume level, his tone condemning. "You're a warrior. It is your duty to protect those around you, especially those under your charge, but you failed to do that. You let a bear almost maul a dwarfling to death, _a dwarfling_. So what does that make you? Incompetent? Or just plain useless?"

The words burned, no one could deny that, yet Dwalin endured them without a word. He deserved them in any case for it was all true. He was supposed to have been protecting the youngest of the line of Durin, yet he had failed. He had failed because he was incompetent in regards to performing the job required of him. Fili, however, was not done yet.

"What did you do when it happened anyway?" the young blonde asked. "Did you try and fight it off, or did you just stand there and watch it happen? You didn't kill the bear, that much I know, but how much did you do to stop it from hurting my brother?"

The oldest dwarf in the room was rendered speechless, not just shocked but dumbfounded at what Fili had just accused him off, or at least indirectly implied. The most painful fact was that, in a way, what the blonde had said was true. Dwalin had hesitated from a moment, only a moment, yet that might have been enough time for the bear to land a killing blow had fate chosen a different course. Some would defend him, his brother mainly, saying that freezing up was a normal reaction to something so unexpected and shocking, but Dwalin knew that the arguments would be questionable at the best. He had hesitated. There was no denying the matter.

"But that's not the worst of it." Fili's voice pulled Dwalin from his stupor, snapping the warrior back into the harsh reality formed by the blonde's words. "No, the worst of it is that only now you have the courage to sit here, the courage to apologise for what you have done to my brother. Well it is too late. You left it too late. He can't hear you, and he certainly can't forgive you now. He can't even speak to you, let alone acknowledge your presence, and all because you were too much of a coward to face him before, to face what you had done before now."

Fili's words, to Dwalin's amazement, hadn't risen above anything but a cruel level of speaking, the words just loud enough to pierce through the air and smack the warrior in the face like the well trained hand of an offended woman. The blonde stood for a few moments more before dropping back down into his seat, refusing to so much as look at Dwalin from the corner of his eye in his obvious fury that his venting had only served to progress.

Dwalin watched as Fili drew in a deep breath, blue eyes glinting with a deep seeded rage. "I have only you to blame."

The last accusing word fell against the back of a swinging door, the warrior they were directed at unable to stand it anymore.

* * *

><p><strong>So, if any of you grant me leniency for my crime of not updating faster when I said I would and leave me a review, feel free to tell me what you feel about the chapter and story as a whole.<strong>


	30. Chapter 30

**Cracking open a bottle of champagne (figuratively speaking) and celebrating because I have reached over 400 reviews for this story! :D No idea why all you people are so attracted to it, but regardless of why, I will just offer my thanks to anyone who has reviewed at any point in this story (particularly those who do so for almost every chapter). Also thanks to anyone who has followed (over 100!) or favourited (over 50 – impressive, but not as impressive as the others ;) this story. :D In any case, I decided to be a little nice in this chapter because of it (enjoy it while you can, because sooner than later I will be getting back to my old sadistic ways. ;) Oh, and if you could forgive me for what happened last chapter - I have my reasons that will become clear soon enough. Sorry of this chapter seems a bit short.**

* * *

><p>Finding himself at the bottom of a tankard of ale in a local, yet out of the way tavern was of no surprise to Bofur, nor would it have been a surprise to anyone else that knew him. In the toymaker's mind, troubled times called for a sense numbing drink, usually of the potent kind, and now was indeed a troubled time, for him at least as well as several others.<p>

The dwarf had been there since he had retreated from the house of Durin's line. The shadow of the terrible news that had been delivered had followed him the entire way and was now Bofur's only companion as he proceeded to try and forget everything that had happened in the past few days. At least, it had been his only companion until a long nosed and red bearded dwarf slipped into the chair across from him.

"And what brings you 'ere?" the ginger dwarf asked in a friendly, but slightly slurred tone.

Bofur shrugged. "Drowning my sorrows I suppose."

His new drinking partner sat back in his chair. "Well I'm 'ere to celebrate. Struck a new vein o' metal today. Been a while since we've found one."

"So that would account for the tavern being full," Bofur remarked, his hand loose on the handle of his tankard. "It would also account for why almost everyone is in such a cheerful mood."

"Aye," his new companion grinned, "Everyone 'cept you." The dwarf gave him a hard look. "What's got you down?"

Bofur sighed and rubbed his face, flicking his eyes up to the ceiling for a brief moment. "A friend was injured some days ago and it was finally starting to look like he was going to get better and then-"

"You got hit with the hard news." The slur in the ginger dwarf's voice was gone, the miner seeming to have sobered up in the midst of Bofur relaying his problems.

The toymaker tweaked the corner of his mouth. "You could say that." Bofur looked down into his drink. "It was…unexpected. It's not like he wasn't bad before, but I was so sure that he was going to finally pull through."

The miner across from Bofur frowned slightly. "Well, I'm no healer so all I can offer is the hope that he gets better, whoever he is."

Bofur smiled his first genuine smile at the ginger dwarf. There was a loud shout behind him and then some of the more drunken fellows in the tavern started singing. The toymaker's companion looked over his shoulder.

"I think I'll go and join in the merriment again, if it's all the same to you," he said, eyeing off the other miners. Bofur merely shrugged and watched him go.

Sighing, the toymaker took another swing of his ale, his hands gripped tight against the tankard. He slammed the object back down, the liquid inside sloshing as he did so.

"Give me a tankard of ale any day,

Whether the sky is blue, black or grey,

Whether you're about to leave or here to stay,

Give me a tankard of ale any day.

My sorrows from before are forgotten,

My joys and tears from yesterday are gone,

The dawn of morrow is not far away,

Yet from this tavern we shall not move on.

Give me a tankard of ale any day,

Whether the sky is blue, black or grey,

Whether you're about to leave or here to stay,

Give me a tankard of ale any day."

"I see the cheer of the miners is getting to you."

Bofur sealed his lips shut and mock glared at the dwarf above him. "At least I can sing."

Dwalin tweaked the corner of his mouth before letting his expression smooth into one of sadness once more. The warrior slowly sank into the seat across from the toymaker, filling it once again.

Bofur took in this swift change of mood. "He hasn't-"

Dwalin shook his head. "No, he's still here and fighting."

"Then why the troubled face?" Bofur asked with a frown. For a moment it looked as though the dwarf opposite him was not going to answer.

"Fili," Dwalin finally relented, the one word ringing with an undertone that Bofur found hard to place.

"What about him?" the toymaker asked. "It's natural that he is going to feel helpless and desperate given his brother's situation."

Dwalin looked down to where his hands were clasped tightly together. "What about anger?"

Bofur shrugged. "I suppose so," he answered. "I mean, anyone that felt helpless to help out their invalid kin would likely lash out, though whether it is at themselves or another depends on the situation. Usually they do not mean what they say though."

The toymaker gave Dwalin a hard look before excusing himself. He wove his way through the still singing miners to where the owner of the tavern resided. He exchanged pleasantries before returning to where he had left the despondent warrior and his own tankard of ale.

"Here," he said as he banged a new tankard on the table, "Drink. It will help."

Dwalin took the ale in one hand, staring down at it almost unseeingly. "Thanks."

Bofur tried not to look surprised at the word, though it had been nearly inaudible when spoken. Instead he merely nodded his head and shrugged, before sweeping his own tankard back up and beginning to sing again.

"There is no guilt or despair that can't go,

For when you first drink they will soon be gone,

The dawn of morrow is not far away,

Yet from this tavern we shall not move on.

Give me a tankard of ale any day,

Whether the sky is blue, black or grey,

Whether you're about to leave or here to stay,

Give me a tankard of ale any day."

Dwalin pushed up from the table with both hands, his chair flying out behind him. "I have some business to take care of." The warrior turned and began to weave his way through the crowd, heading for the door as he left his untouched ale behind him.

Bofur watched the dwarf go, a crease still present on his forehead. Sighing inwardly, the toymaker returned to his drink, allowing the last words of the miners' song to flow over him.

"Give me a tankard of ale any day,

Whether the sky is blue, black or grey,

Whether you're about to leave or here to stay,

Give me a tankard of ale any day."

* * *

><p><strong>Forgive me for the song. It's not good, I know, but given whose signing it... <strong>

**Now if I could just extract a review from one or two of you that would be great.**


	31. Chapter 31

**This chapter may not seem like the best. I tried but the words didn't mesh right. And again, this POV is a pain to write. Regardless, I hope you enjoy. And more Dwalin next chapter, I promise. :)**

* * *

><p>It was a wet coolness that leeched him from his dreamless state. That and the gentle fingering of his hair, a pleasant tugging sensation that reminded Kili of his brother's fingers. It was then the youth realised it <em>was <em>his brother pulling at his hair.

_Fili. _The word had not been uttered out loud.

Kili struggled against the blind muteness he was trapped in to no avail. At one point his clawed hand was pried from its arrangement, relaxing the appendage despite its owner's inner turmoil. A thumb rubbed over the heated skin of his hand, the pad of the finger firm and soothingly cold.

Eventually Kili gave up in his bid to make himself known, allowing his conscious to float back into the pillows around his head. The young dwarf frowned inwardly at the aching in his arms and chest, yet he supposed the worst of the pain was being held at bay from his current state of awareness, or unawareness. Still, he was aware enough to tell that Fili was tensing beside him, holding in words that were no doubt hammering to get out and into the open air. Whether or not his brother would release them was to be seen.

"You know, I can't remember the last time you were like this."

A hand brushed against Kili's good shoulder, hovering over the bandages on his respective arm. The brunette felt a finger come to rest on his arm at one point, but the slight pressure sent an involuntary shiver through his body. Fili withdrew his hand faster than Kili could notch an arrow in his bow.

"I…I got you this when I was with mother visiting that town," the blonde said, the dwarf speaking as if his brother were awake and lucid. "It reminded me of you, and you broke your own one just before I left. I just couldn't pass up the opportunity."

An object was pressed into the palm of Kili's hand, and if the youth could have smiled he would have. As his brother closed his fingers around the items awkward shape the brunette remembered his frustration at having snapped his comb. He had been using his brother's while Fili had been away, yet he disliked the way the object fit into his hand. The one he was holding now fitted perfectly however, almost as perfectly as his original one. How the comb reminded his brother of him beyond that was a mystery to Kili and would remain one, he decided, until he regained the ability to open his eyes at his own will.

"You're going to need it once you wake up," Fili said above him. "Your hair is a mess, even for you."

A presence hovered over Kili's head before withdrawing, as though it had given a second thought to the action it had been about to perform. Instead the presence drifted back to his hand and the comb within it.

"That isn't why I'm speaking to you though." The tone of Fili's voice was neither filled with emotion or lacking it, rather the feelings within the words were subdued almost to the point of non-existence. There was a long pause, and then the blonde dwarf's voice came again, directed at the floor this time round. "Have you ever said something to someone and regretted it?"

Kili heard his brother laugh.

"What am I saying? You always end up regretting what you say one way or another. You're the reason why we got into so much trouble when we were younger."

The chortling continued for a while longer, eventually fading into nothing. It was not silent for long however, a sigh taking its place in the room.

"It's just so hard to see you like this," Fili continued, words clearly strained. "I feel so helpless not knowing what I can do to help you. It's so….frustrating."

There was another sigh, the breath released with it blowing Kili's hair over his face.

"It's no excuse," Fili said, his voice disheartened. "I know that…but I just don't know what to do. What do I do, Kee? What can I do to make everything alright? I'm lost here, completely lost and I need you to tell me what to do."

A warmth slide beneath Kili's eyelids, invisible from his brother, but all too present for the younger dwarf. A ragged breath slid free of his lips as a bolt of pain flew through his body, pain that had not originated at his trivial wounds. The brunette drew in another breath, the air colliding against his teeth with the same force that held his heart in a twisted grip of agony.

He longed to be able to offer a word of comfort to his brother, or at least a soundless gesture, but again Kili found himself trapped in the leaden cage that was his own body. It was frustrating, for the young dwarf knew Fili was right beside him, yet all he could do was listen helplessly to the almost erratic breathing of the older dwarf.

"I keep hoping you will wake up."

These words were the final blow to Kili, the young dwarf feeling his interior shatter once the last syllable was left hanging in the air. The brunette tried, he did, struggling to show some sign that he was conscious. He knew any sign would do to reassure his brother, any sign at all.

"But it's just wishful thinking," Fili said, his voice now resigned. Again Kili heard the blonde sigh, a hand squeezing his own slightly smaller one, a brown being pressed firmly against his own.

A familiar rumbling voice called his brother's name from the doorway.

Kili's mind drifted through a pleasant state of nothingness for a bit, the muffled voices of two arguing the only sound to pierce through the otherwise blank veil. The ends of his fingers and toes felt numb, the appendages they were attached to heavy as the sheets of metal his uncle manipulated. His head also felt heavy, his eyelids trying to sink into his skull. Overall the brunette felt like he was floating in a sea of softened fabric.

The sensation fled when at the sound of a door closing, giving way to an aching pain that began to pull him under again.

"You'll be okay, lad," a gruff voice said above him, "You'll be okay."

* * *

><p><strong>A review would be nice, if you have the time of course.<strong>


	32. Chapter 32

**Sorry for the long update, but I am currently busy. So it might take a while for me to update the next chapter. In any case, I am also sorry if this chapter seems short, although I hope you will like it (I am almost 99% sure that you will like one particular bit ;)**

* * *

><p>The chair in front of him seemed to be mocking him. For every moment he stared at it, it stared right back.<p>

_"You don't have the courage to go through with this,"_ its occupant sang, a cruel smile twisted upon the being's lips.

Looking Kili into the eye Dwalin growled. "You're not real." In any case, the warrior had proven the figment of his mind wrong. He was already halfway through packing.

Dwalin knew that he was not crazy. The projection of Kili onto the chair had merely been an embodiment of his fears working his mind into a state not unlike the shaking of an earthquake. The burly dwarf knew that dwelling on these fears would be a liability. He needed to clear his mind for the task soon to be at hand. Unlike the last time he could not freeze up.

"Are you going somewhere?" The door opened to reveal Balin.

Dwalin did not look up. "Hunting."

Balin tilted in his in curiosity as he wandered past. "Hunting? That's good."

"I've had enough of sitting around doing nothing," Dwalin said. He did not see the smile that spread across his brother's face.

"Do you want me to come with you?" the older dwarf asked. "I am will not be needed for the rest of the day by anyone."

"No," Dwalin replied, almost too quickly. "This is something I want to do on my own. I do not want anyone else getting hurt."

A moment of silence passed and when Balin still did not speak, Dwalin finally looked up. The look on his brother's face was thunderous at best.

"Tell me you are not the thick headed idiot I think you are."

Dwalin allowed his expression to remain smooth. "Why?"

"Don't ask me why," Balin rumbled, "You know _exactly_ what I am talking about!"

Dwalin stood with an almighty fury. "So what if I am going to hunt down that bear? Is it not better that I die trying to correct my mistake of letting that beast live than to dwell in misery here?"

The burly warrior recoiled from the punch that had been landed on his jaw.

"Never say that," Balin roared, his eyes flashing with a level of wrath Dwalin had never seen before. "I do not care what you think, or what anyone has told you. I will kill you myself if you so much as even think that way again."

Dwalin rubbed the newly forming bruise with one hand. "Even so, I must kill the bear."

Balin threw his hands up in exasperation. "How many times do I have to tell you that what happened was not your fault?"

"Fili seems to think so," Dwalin shot back.

Balin frowned. "Fili is young and does not have a firm hold on his emotions."

"He has a firm enough grip to know who to blame," Dwalin argued.

"This is madness."

Dwalin's mouth was fixed in a straight line. "You cannot stop me."

Balin's gaze did not waver. "You underestimate what I am capable of."

The younger of the two shook his head in frustration and turned to finish packing. The next moment his pack was ripped out of his hands and he smashed against the floor.

"Listen to me!" Balin's voice was accompanied by the hand which had gripped his brother's arm. The shorter dwarf's face was completely obscured by the prominent crease in his forehead. "You cannot go after that bear."

"What I cannot do is not up to you."

Balin snorted. "I am your brother and I am older than you. As such, that puts me in charge."

Dwalin glared at him. "Perhaps when we were still dwarflings," he said, "But not now."

The fingers latched onto his arms dug harder into his flesh doing their very best to bruise.

"I will take all measures to stop you from doing this," Balin said. "Even if it takes a direct order from Thorin himself not to pursue this foolish task, I will not see you go after that bear."

"Thorin himself couldn't stop me," Dwalin answered as he broke his way out of his brother's weakening grasp. His foot trod backwards, something giving beneath it, but what it was the warrior did not look to see. He made it to the chair he had been sitting on when Balin had come in without a word being spoken, yet it was upon arrival that his brother spoke again.

"You could be killed," the older of the two cried.

Dwalin shrugged. "Then I'll just have too kill the bear before it kills me."

"Then at least let me go with you in case you are injured. Alone you will have no way to seek out help."

Dwalin shook his head. "No. I've already said that I want to do on my own. This is something that I must fix by myself."

"Then what am I to do?" Balin asked, his voice shaded with bother anger and desperation.

Dwalin stared the white bearded dwarf in the eyes. "Pray the bear does not best me."

"And if it does?"

Dwalin had no answer to that.

"There is nothing you can say that will change my mind," the dwarf finally said, but Balin still had one trick he had not yet tried.

"Nadadith…."

Dwalin froze at the word, for it was one that had not been used between them for an extremely long time. Indeed the last time the word had been uttered by Balin's lips was the battle where they had both lost a king and a friend to the filthy orcs. It was a low blow on his brother's part, the ploy clearly designed to make him rethink his stand on the issue. It was not one that would work however.

"I am sorry, brother," the warrior finally said. "Now if you would excuse me, I must repack for my trip."

Dwalin turned his back on the older dwarf as he began to bend down in order to gather his scattered belongings. There was a sigh behind him and the slam of a door, yet the tattooed dwarf did not look up, too busy fighting back his own fears of what he was about to do.

* * *

><p><span><strong>TRANSLATION:<strong>

**For those of you who don't already know, 'nadadith' means 'little brother'. **

**Is it possible for any of you to leave a review?**


	33. Chapter 33

**So, long time no update. Don't worry, it frustrated me probably as much as it annoyed you, but I was hit with a Titanic full of work and have just breached the surface of the sea it pulled me into. Thus the chapter and the update. I'm not sure how good it is or how regularly I will be able to update from here, but I hope you like it. **

* * *

><p>Cursing the persistent ache behind his eyes, the toymaker buried his head in the cool skin of his hands. One with the continuous throbbing, he groaned an unhappy tune.<p>

"If I ever drink again it will be too soon." Bofur, however, knew that the words held no meaning. How many times had he sworn the same only to return home late one night singing perhaps a little too merrily.

Boom, boom, boom.

Bofur gritted his teeth as he rolled his forehead around, trying to find a position that was both comfortable and devoid of any real pain.

Boom, boom, boom.

"Argh!" If only he hadn't left his knife at the store, then he could have used it to bore a hole into his head and remove whatever was causing that grating sound.

Boom, boom, boom.

Lifting his head, Bofur finally realised that someone was at his door.

Rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands, the toymaker stood dragged himself to greet whoever it was that was so instant on torturing him. Since when had air presented so much of a challenge to get through?

"I don't know what to do."

Bofur blinked in surprise, staring at Fili dumbly for a moment as his hand relaxed its grip on the knob of his door. Then his befuddled brain remembered its duty as a host.

"Come in," the toymaker said, closing the door as his guest stepped inside. Fili looked around for a moment before turning his attention back to the dwarf next to him.

Bofur regarded the youth with searching eyes. "What brings you here, laddie?"

The younger dwarf closed his eyes. "I don't know what to do," he repeated. "I need help."

"Help?" Despite the question Bofur thought he had a good idea of where this conversation was heading.

For a moment Fili hesitated. "I…I…. Kili took a turn for the worst and I lashed out without meaning too."

"And now you feel guilty that Dwalin bore the brunt of your anger." Bofur tweaked a corner of his mouth in knowing.

Fili cast his eyes down to the ground. "I was just so frustrated and worried and it was all welling up and…." He paused. "I know that doesn't excuse what I did, but…."

Bofur watched as Fili bit his lip. The toymaker waited for the youth's next words.

"The thing is I'm not sure how to fix it," the blonde finally said.

Bofur stretched one side of his mouth out in an attempt to mimic a straight line. "Well you're going to have to try. You can't leave it the way you did."

"I know. I know…" Fili said. "I just…. Argh. I thought the air would sort out my thoughts. Uncle seemed to think that it would clear my head, but they're just so jumbled up…." He looked up at Bofur with an almost pleading expression. "I don't know what to do."

Bofur sighed and rubbed his temples. His mind was still not functioning as it should, yet that would not stop him from giving what help he could to Fili. It was a problem that needed to be fixed after all. His meeting with Dwalin at the tavern had proven as much.

"The first thing you could do would to be apologise," the toymaker finally said.

Fili looked apprehensive of what was being suggested for a moment. Then his expression fell into one of resignation. "And if he doesn't accept it?"

Bofur gave a reassuring tweak of the lips. "I am sure that will not be an issue." The dwarf offered the youth a chair. The blonde accepted by sinking into it gratefully.

"You know, when I went with mother to that town, I never thought that something like this would happen."

Bofur could sense that the lad before him needed to speak what was on his mind, to work out his thoughts in the same way that Bofur usually worked out his.

"I mean, he's always getting himself into trouble and hardly a day goes by without him bruising himself, but this? This is something new." Fili gave a small laugh. "If this turned out to be a dream and Kili came bounding through the door this very moment as right as rain, I think I could believe it. The only thing is that it's not a dream, not even a nightmare."

The young dwarf's face had carved itself into an expression of indifference, yet the blue eyes that peered out from the strangely soft stone shone with a stark intensity.

Boom, boom, boom.

"Argh!" cried Bofur as he moved towards the door a second time. "Doesn't anyone have the decency to just barge in without rapping their knuckles against my door so loudly?"

Holding his wildly throbbing head with one hand, the toymaker jerked his door open with the other. He stared into the face of Balin, trying to keep his annoyance from showing in his eyes.

"I wish to speak to Fili." The old dwarf's words were sharp and too the point. The ache behind Bofur's eyes was grateful for this fact.

The toymaker stepped aside, not bothering with words as he nodded to where Fili was now sitting erect against the chair.

"Balin, I-"

"I do not care about whatever it is you said to my brother," the older dwarf cut in, "What I care about is whether you can stop him from doing something incredibly stupid."

Bofur frowned. He had rarely seen Balin so frantic. "Why?" the toymaker asked. "What's he going to do?"

Balin spared the dwarf a glance. "Dwalin has taken it upon himself to hunt down the bear and kill it."

"What?" Bofur left his jaw hanging in the air, too surprised to do anything else with it. Across from him, Fili's face had paled.

"Did he say why?" the blonde asked.

Balin puffed out his cheeks. "He wanted to fix his mistake of letting the beast live."

Fili seemed to shrink in on himself even further at this. Bofur watched as Balin's eyes fixated on the young dwarf.

"I need you to stop him from getting himself killed."

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry if it seemed a little short. <strong>

**So, would a review be too much to ask?**


	34. Chapter 34

**Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up, but as I have said before this particular point of view is hard to write - extremely hard this time round. As such the chapter might be a little weird because when you combine my writing with a brick wall and a sudden burst of inspiration you get an...interesting result (which I think you will discover once you start reading). In any case, I hope you enjoy it and I think it is safe to say that the next chapter will be up sooner.**

* * *

><p>If someone were to come and chop off his right arm with a very blunt knife Kili doubted he would notice. He doubted he would notice anything beside the indescribable pain that refused to abate.<p>

_This is what it would feel like to be consumed in dragon fire, _the youth thought. Perhaps if the pain ever stopped he could ask his uncle or mother, or perhaps the torturous flames would continue on for all eternity. _Like the fires that burned in the forges of Erebor and then on the mountainside when the dragon came. _

The young dwarf grasped at the fragments of stories he remembered being told about the mighty city beneath the mountain before its fall. Half there chambers of gold appeared before his eyes before flickering away into darkness and a large blacker than black shadow that swum around in his head.

Kili clenched his fists unknowingly, his right hand releasing when the action only served to bring the fading pain back. Heaving out a breath, the brunette imaged he was the dragon breathing a great gush of air to quench the fire. Only he was no dragon and the fire was not put out.

If Kili could have wailed in despair he would have.

_I am a dragon,_ he forced himself to think. _A dragon. I am a dragon with scales for armor and knives for teeth. I am a dragon that breaths fire, not burns from it. I am a dragon and I cannot feel the pain._

Lies. That is what they were, but if the young dwarf could just delude himself into thinking he were something he were not then just maybe he could bear the pain a little longer. Or maybe it would just end suddenly and without warning.

Kili hefted out another breath, deflating his chest once more. Gold appeared in his mind once again and the injured brunette found himself craving it more than anything. He wanted his brother, he wanted the comfort and reassurance that the blonde dwarf would provide, but most of all he just wanted to know that Fili was there by his side like he always was when Kili needed him.

Fili was not there however, but someone else was. Someone who could provide the same reassurance and comfort to the young dwarf. Someone who was strong and stern and loving all at the same time.

A dragon rumbled above Kili, a smooth and deep voice manipulating words into a song that was neither cheery nor filled with sorrow or regret.

"Mahal's halls are calling, day is newly dawning,

The fires on the mountainside burn bright.

Help was not given, the attack was lust driven,

O to be a dragon on that night.

"When carnage was wrought escape was sought,

In the end two cities destroyed.

No more gold to mine, no more blessed time,

Only mistakes to avoid.

"Here comes the dragon, mighty in his song,

His roar shook a mountain and made two cities fall,

And on this sorry morning we can only look on,

And pray to the gods that is all."

Kili allowed the low echoing of the words to wash over him, their meaning almost lost on his mind, yet the emotion behind them more than clear to the injured dwarf. The words were not just for him however. The young brunette could sense the tune being directed towards another presence just beyond his awareness, a softer and gentler presence. A warmly familiar one.

The second presence was working on his arm with shadowy touches, barely there at all. Small sparks of pain the intruding fingers set off, but they were caught before they could spread by a cooling weight that was booth smooth and wet against his much abused skin.

The singing continued as the weight was forced closer to his arm , a more feminine voice joining in with the dragon's continued roar.

"Here comes the dragon, mighty in his song,

His roar shook a mountain and made two cities fall,

And on this sorry morning we can only look on,

And pray to the gods that is all."

Kili found himself singing along to the same tune involuntarily in his head, an image of him and his brother sitting on a floor in the colder months of the year staring up in awe of their uncle before them. These were replaced by even older and vaguer memories, ones of a faded face and twinkling brown eyes above a soft blonde beard from which lips moved within.

A strange and deep sense of longing filled Kili at the memory. He let out a small keen, almost as though he were a dog whining for its master to return home. There was a hole now inside of him separate to the closed and covered gashes on his torso and arms, a hole that was dusty and ragged, only half there as if he were not sure what he was missing or even if he was missing anything at all. The young dwarf whined again only to have a hand brush lightly against his cheek.

"Here comes the dragon, mighty in his song…"

Kili gritted his teeth at the hollow ache within him. He felt dampness beneath his eyes, a warm fluid making itself known, but it disappeared as quickly as it had come leaving place to weariness.

His roar shook a mountain and made two cities fall…"

Something was pulling at Kili's chest, prying off what felt like a layer of skin yet did not seem to be fully a part of him. The brunette winced as fresh air hit the still raw and half healed wounds. He jerked his arm in discomfort and hit something, hard. With a short cry the offending appendage burst into flames once again.

"And on this sorry morning we can only look on..."

Jerking his arm back and forth Kili tried desperately to put out the fire he could feel but not see. The movement only made it worse however, yet the young dwarf could not stop. _My arm is on fire. My are is on fire! _The same five words were the only ones that the brunette was capable of thinking.

Someone or something grabbed his arm, pinning it down to stop it from moving. Faintly Kili realised that the singing had stopped, but he paid the detail no mind as several drops of something both sweet and bitter made its way onto his tongue. The awareness of the young dwarf was dulled and his body slowed even further than what it was. In the back of his mind he could hear the last words of a familiar song as his arm was reduced to a throbbing mass.

_"And pray to the gods that is all."_

The pain abated and Kili slept.

* * *

><p><strong>I am thinking about writing the entirety of the song and posting it on here. So if you want you can watch out for it (It would be called 'Here comes the dragon').<strong>

**Please review. **

* * *

><p><strong><span>Sorrellkaren:<span> In regards to your review for the previous chapter as to why Kili didn't go with Fili and Dis to the town, it is because Fili is older than his brother (Kili being around 16 here, Fili 17 or 18 - not sure. This is going by human years), so Dis would have been more confident in letting him go to town with her without Dwalin, Thorin, etc. S****o he is sort of allowed to travel around without so much guards, without thorin, etc. It could also be looked at as though he was escorting Dis in a way because he was old enough. ****Also it's sort of like if a mother were to take one daughter shopping and leave the other behind at home - sort of like Dis spending time with Fili on her own without Kili. ****It's also because I needed it for my storyline. Having Dis and Fili in the first few chapters along with everyone else would have been too crowded and confusing for me to write properly. The chapters would have also been filled with too much emotion, action, etc. in my opinion (as in too much content due to the emotions and reactions stemming from what happened). And having Fili in the early chapters, I would have had to focus on his reactions more which would make me lose what I am trying to achieve with this story (not focusing so much on Fili/Kili relationship as much as Dwalin/Bofur/Kili and how they are affected by this, etc. I didn't want this story to end up only showing the immediate reactions surrounding Kili and staying in the sick room all the time). Hope this answers your question (sorry it's a bit long).**


	35. Chapter 35

**I am not sure if I delivered on my promise that this chapter was updated sooner than the last, but I do believe that I delivered an okay chapter at the least. It's one of my longest ones for a while in any case. Hope you enjoy it although if Dwalin comes off as a little un-Dwalinish I apologise for that in advance. **

* * *

><p>He was ready to leave it all behind in what his brother had called a foolish pursuit. He was ready to walk into the forest when there was a very large possibility he would never walk back out. He was ready to right the mistake he had made, to fix the problem he had created. Above all he was ready to kill the bear or be killed by it. He was ready, yet he stood motionlessly in place. His brother stood stubbornly opposite him refusing to make way.<p>

Dwalin frowned. "As I have said before, you cannot stop me."

"And as_ I _have said before that I will not let you go through with this."

"Aye, it is an idiotic endeavor if I ever heard of one." Bofur stepped up next to Balin, tweaking the ends of his moustache. The toymaker looked Dwalin up and down before lifting one corner of his mouth. "Then again, idiotic is what you tend to be."

Dwalin glared at the dwarf before turning back to his brother. "Get out of my way." How his brother still failed to grasp his need to do this was beyond the warrior, but he wasn't about to waste time trying to make the white bearded dwarf come round.

The tattooed dwarf pushed through the slight gap between the shoulders of the two shorter dwarves, surprised but not caring at the lack of resistance they put up. He let out a huffed breath as he titled his head further towards the sky to keep fear from obtaining a place in his eyes. His long strides took him a further three paces towards the tree line and the monster that resided within it.

"Wait."

The voice was not one Dwalin would have expected and the warrior found himself turning to greet it. Looking away from the blue eyes that were staring at him the bald dwarf rubbed his forehead. _Why did it have to be him?_

Out of the dwarf's field of sight Fili shuffled uncomfortably, looking to Bofur for inspiration before returning his attention to Dwalin. The taller dwarf was still starring up into the sky as though he were trying to gauge the movement of the darkened clouds of evening as he avoided Fili's gaze.

"I was wrong to blame you for what happened."

Dwalin blinked as the words floated through his ears. Each sound was like a thought of nothingness – shapeless, weightless and bodiless. Then the thoughts began to build themselves a form, and he snapped his head towards the brother of the one he had let be harmed. Fili caught his gaze and seemed to shrink, becoming more unsure of himself.

"It wasn't true and I suppose…." He trailed off before regaining his confidence. "What I mean to say is that what I said before, I didn't mean it. Any of it. At all."

The words shocked Dwalin right down to his core, the very heart of who he was. Never had he thought he would hear those words, and never did he think that those words would have the effect on him as they did now.

"So you don't need to go after the bear," Fili concluded. Bofur was now nodding rapidly by the blonde dwarf, Balin eyeing Dwalin with a guarded expression.

The tallest of the four dwarves near the outskirts of the forest drew in a breath. A faint scream echoed from behind the tattooed warrior, audible to his ears alone. A hundred rivers of non-existent blood ran down the air in front of his eyes and a terrible roar accompanied the sight. The vision changed to a pale young face swimming inside lifeless brown hair before Dwalin's mind went blank, shutting out all thoughts except one.

"There is no choice," the dwarf said as he pushed past the blonde before him.

The call of the forest had become too much, too strong against the fragile and weakened state of his common sense. Dwalin took one step and then another, each one taking him closer and closer towards a place from which he could not return. A third step left the warrior with his head higher than it had been in days, exhilaration and dread hitting him all in one go. A fourth and he knew there was no turning back.

"A fleeing coward - that is what you are."

The words froze Dwalin in his place.

"Only a coward would run from his fears," Bofur continued, his voice having taken on a frosty edge.

"And what fears would they be?" Dwalin forced himself to laugh, a deep growling sound if anything.

"You aren't even waiting for Kili to wake," the toymaker behind him said.

Dwalin closed his eyes and breathed in. "If he even wakes."

There was silence, a slight breeze picking up and blowing against the seasoned warrior as though it too did not want the dwarf to continue. The trees before him rustled, almost beckoning him into their depths that offered a consoling oblivion.

"Don't say that." The voice was quiet but forceful.

Dwalin glanced out of the corner of his eye to where Fili was standing, blue eyes shining but mouth stretched in a thin line. The bald dwarf was unsure of his feelings towards the youth. While the blonde had taken back and even apologised for what he had said, there was no denying the fact that his words had been true. Anger began to brew within the warrior at the thought, its waters dark and churning. Deadly.

"How could you?" he shot at the youth now just before his face.

The young blonde looked startled. He opened his mouth to speak, but Dwalin got there first.

"How could you say it?" he half yelled. "Do you not think before you speak, or are you just incapable of doing so?"

Fili, for the life of him, looked utterly lost. His blue eyes appeared to be begging for forgiveness, offering up yet another apology as his mouth opened and closed in stunned shock. Dwalin took this in and the waves crashing around inside him only grew more furious.

"Enough," the warrior ordered. "Enough! Why do you continue to take it back?"

"Take what…" Fili trailed off in a daze, only half aware of Balin and Bofur moving forward in an attempt to calm the largest dwarf of the four.

"You have no right to apologise for what you said," Dwalin bellowed. "No right to take back what you said."

And it suddenly was as though Fili had been struck by an arrow poisoned with harshness, the blonde dwarf snapping shut his mouth and steeling his eyes against the sight before him. Dwalin watched the youth as his chest heaved with large and clearly visible movements. Balin and Bofur had stopped in their tracks, both staring at the tallest dwarf with astonished gazes.

"They were my words and I can choose to do with them as I please," Fili stated almost as coldly as Bofur had called the warrior a coward. "So if I choose to take them back then take them back I will and apologise for saying them while I do so."

"You cannot take back nor apologise for what was merely the truth," Dwalin stated.

"It's not the truth," Bofur cut in. "You tried to save him as best you could. I watched you do so with my own eyes which are still good enough to know what they saw was not a lie. Going after the bear is pointless. You have nothing to prove."

"And nothing to make up for," Fili added, blue eyes boring into Dwalin's being. "So why not just return home and forget about all this?"

The warrior almost let out a scream of frustration, his eyes completely unveiled for a rare moment as they begged the blonde before him to understand. "I cannot look your brother in the eye if I know that the monster than almost slew him is still roaming free in the forest. I could barely look in his eyes even if it weren't. You brother will not forgive me if I did not do the uttermost to ensure that what befell him could not happen again." Taking a breath, Dwalin blinked slowly. "That is if he even chooses to see me after my failure to protect him. I would not blame him if he never forgives me for such a lapse."

At first Fili just stared at him with a dead look in his eyes. Then he let out a tightly wound laugh that sounded more like the young dwarf was madly gasping for air. "My brother would not forgive you if you went into the forest now of all times."

Dwalin tensed his broad shoulders but did not show any other sign of how the words of the young blonde had affected him. Fili did not need any other sign however, for he had seen the slight movement and knew he had delivered a potentially fatal blow to the mad idea.

"You do not know whether or not he will forgive you for he has not woken long enough to do either," the young dwarf continued. "And if I know my brother, he would rather forgive then condemn you if he finds any fault in what you did at all."

"See, there is not reason for you to pursue this foolish endeavor." The words were the first that Balin had spoken in a while.

Dwalin turned to his brother, the look of a hopeful pleading evident upon the older dwarf's face. The warrior sighed and lifted his gaze to the skies once more. The first few stars that were evident in the dusty grey sky seemed to point in a single direction. And Dwalin knew what he needed to do but he did not want to do it. So he started forward back the way he had come trying to quell the little seeds of fear and doubt in his heart all the while.

* * *

><p><strong>It would be great if you took the time to review.<strong>

**On another note I think I am nearing the end of this story. Not quite near enough for it to be a major threat, but still it can't go on forever (probably about 6 or so chapters left). Jut thought I'd let you know.**


	36. Chapter 36

**You have 'Until the End' by Breaking Benjamin to thank for this update. Finally put me in the mood to write it. In any axe hope you enjoy the chapter, a filler though it is. Also a heads up - the chapter might appear shorter than usual but it is still the usual word length. **

* * *

><p>Bofur didn't know what to think as Balin and Dwalin disappeared down the road, Fili already having split off from them to return home a while back. He was thankful that Dwalin had given up the notion of going after the bear, yet the guilt that the toymaker had seen in the larger dwarf had made him uncomfortable. Surely the warrior could see the lack of truth in his thoughts.<p>

Sighing to himself the toymaker continued on his less than merry but not overly saddened path. Kili was in a bad way, his friend was making himself into a bad way, and everyone else in between were just stuck in the middle, himself included.

The local tavern seemed to be calling to his now sober mind, yet Bofur passed it by without so much as a glance. He had had enough of drinks and their consequences for the time being. He had had enough of consequences in general.

From across the road a dog eyed him warily, its back hunched over as it crept around the corner tail between its risen haunches. The toymaker it had thought a threat merely sighed again and pulled his hat down further over his cold and aching head. He rubbed the tips of his fingers though the open ends of his gloves.

"'Least it isn't raining on me," the dwarf said to himself. A small grin tweaked at the corner of his mouth.

Reaching out in front of him, Bofur spun his arms a few times not caring if anyone saw. His shoulders grinded together at the motion, the feeling of bone mashing on bone an odd sensation but not an unsavory one. His mind floated along in a strange state, completely empty and unburdened of anything. The dwarf felt free, bodiless and weightless. Perhaps he was still drunk or perhaps his body was just sick of the turmoil it had been put through in the past week. Whatever it was, Bofur found he did not care.

A humming sound began to play upon his lips, the tune without a melody or any discernable rhythm. It was one that had echoed through the house of his youth created by a dwarf with a heart as big as the toymaker's and a severe lack of musical ability. That had not kept Bofur's father from trying however. Every day he would hum the same tune if only to drive his dearest wife up the walls with madness.

"Just smile and laugh it off," Bofur found himself murmuring, age old advice he had been given that he held very close to his over accommodating heart. _And when that doesn't work there's always a tankard of ale. _

Again the toymaker found himself tweaking the corners of his mouth, teeth flashing ever so briefly as he allowed them to be revealed from their hiding place. His fingers twitched to the inconsistent beat he was still humming as he walked under the darkened sky of evening towards a place both warm and familiar, friendly and comforting.

Bifur would be closing up the store, Bombur arriving home to meet with his wife and children. For Bofur this was all accepted with a simple state of mind. He wanted a small moment of solitary in a familiar place and that small moment he would get. That small moment he was already getting if one counted his walk as a instant of solidarity.

Opening the door Bofur drifted to one chair by the stove and sank into it, going over the events of the day and the past few days before that. Surprisingly no emotions gripped his heart, no shock or fear or worry, no desperation or deep struck sorrow. No, his heart simply continued to beat the way it was intended to without a care in the world save for pumping blood through the dwarf it belonged to.

Since Dwalin had brought the lad in riding upon that steed for his life's worth Bofur had been caught up in a whirlwind of emotions both depressive, hopeful, real and false. Now it was all gone, absent in the face of a place that had once held a cage made of desolation and despair.

A flood of blood washed by him yet he did not flinch. Frantic yells were sent his way yet he did not bend to them. Screams echoed the cavern of his head yet he did not attempt to cover his ears. Prayers of helplessness were recited before him yet he did not join in the fevered chanting. Like a needle that had pierced ragged and torn flesh not so long ago, the toymaker's scattered self began to collect together and reshape into mere acceptance for what had happened and whatever was about happen.

_It will be what it will be._ Bofur blinked and released a breath as he emptied his head once more. _And there isn't nothing that can change that._

Rubbing his hands together, the dwarf opened his maw in a gaping yawn of which swept up all the nearest air like the greedy flames of a fiercely burning forge. Shadows reached their formless arms towards the faint light that brushed against the toes of toymaker's boots. The moon frowned at this act and only glowed stronger as it wove its strange lullaby of a drowsy and dreamless sleep for one soul that had strayed into its clutches.

Outside Bifur brushed his hands over the rough wood of the door's frame before pushing it open with his palms. The hefty framed dwarf stepped over the boundary for the house and wandered inside, each step a small shuffle filled with the tired sleep of night. Moonlight glinted off the axe in his head reflecting onto a lineless face resting alone in a chair.

If one had peered into the uncovered window they would have beheld a strange sight – that of a formidable figure leaning tenderly over a much more likeable being in something almost akin to brotherhood. That spy would have witnessed a blanket being draped over the latter dwarf of whom was deeply asleep. They would have also seen the delicate repositioning of a certain remarkable looking hat on top of a head before the figure still awake shuffled off out of view leaving his counterpart non the wiser but a little more content.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope I done the last bit justice. In any case, please review. <strong>


	37. Chapter 37

**Was going to get this up earlier, but stuff happened as it tends to do. So sorry. In any case the chapter is one of the longer ones. I hope you enjoy it (I think some of you will definitely like this chapter). **

* * *

><p>There were strange events that people would argue had occurred throughout all of existence, but none were as strange to Kili as the feeling of waking suddenly and inexplicitly from seemingly nowhere and everywhere at the same time.<p>

"That's it lad. You're alright. You're safe."

Slowly Kili's breathing returned to normal, his heart losing that frantic and fast paced beat of panic. A hand brushed over his head, stilling the young dwarf's restless twitching. The brunette let out a small gasp and another and another as he tried to release the pain that had replaced his blood.

"Kili? Can you hear me? Can you understand what I am saying?"

The pain within him seemed to build and fade with every heart beat. It would disappear into something bearable for a fragment of a moment before it returned in full along with the life giving thump of his heart.

"Kili. Kili look at me."

The young brunette whined, fingers bending and then releasing as he tried to find purchase on the slippery material beneath them. His eyes roved around in their sockets, seeing everything and perceiving nothing. It was all colours and shapes. There was nothing familiar to hold onto, nothing that Kili could use to anchor himself to the world in his consciousness.

"Focus on my voice. Listen to it and follow it."

The confusion was almost enough to make Kili want to fade back into sleep, yet he refrained from doing so. Something inside him rebelled at the thought and the young dwarf had the smallest of feelings that should he fall back asleep it would not be entirely natural or good. Still he did not want to remain in a world where he could not understand what was happening around him.

"Kili, focus. Focus on me and only me."

The words seemed to weave their way into the young dwarf's head, attaching themselves to the only part of his brain that could make sense of anything. The voice was familiar, reassuring in the way only something recongisable could be. It continued to speak to the lad, the sound drawing his gaze to the space from which it originated. The blurring colours began to clear and shapes became more prominent and defined. Kili blinked as his uncle's face appeared before him.

"There you go," the blue eyed dwarf said, a small smile of relief dancing upon his lips. Thorin ran one thumb over his nephew's head once before moving aside to let Oin take his place.

Kili looked up at the healer, the ghost of a grimace laid like a mask over his face. The older dwarf smiled sympathetically down at the young lad even as he began to collect up several items of his trade into his hands.

"You gave everyone a bit of a scare there," Oin said conversationally as he went about his work, peering into Kili's brown eyes one at a time. "But now you seem to be able to understand me. Am I right?"

Kili gave a slight nod of his head as he followed the healer's actions. The brunette winced as hands ran over the bandages that did nothing to attempt to blend in with the natural colour of his skin. He pressed deeper into the bed at the pain that still flowed through him, thinking that if he somehow managed to melt into the sheets the pain would be left behind. Still, the agony was not so bad that it sent him scuttling back to the black abyss he had come from.

Not pausing in his movements, Oin spared the youth a glance. "What is your name?"

Kili opened his mouth, closed it and swallowed before opening it a second time. "Kili." His mouth felt as dry as the brittle wood they used for the fireplace in the winter months.

"And where are you?"

Kili's eyes flicked up to the ceiling above him and then to the walls that supported it. "My room." The young dwarf swallowed again, his throat constricting uncomfortably at the lack of relief it received.

"Here."

A small tug at his hand drew Kili's eyes to where his brother sat, blonde hair falling over the older dwarf's blue eyes. A cup was secured in Fili's hand, the faint sound of liquid sloshing away inside of it the sweetest of music to his younger brother's ears. Kili felt his head being lifted and the wood of the cup being pressed to his lips. The brunette drunk with no small amount of greedy relief, water falling upon the desert that was his throat in a painfully soothing way.

As the miraculous cup was drawn away the young dwarf let out a small puff of air, grateful that at least part of his discomfort had been vanquished. His brown eyes drifted back to the healer that still stood over him finishing up with his assessment of the injured dwarf.

"I take it you are in pain."

It was not a question, but Kili still nodded in answer. Old eyes met young and the former softened in temperament.

"The drink your brother gave you should help to numb it," Oin told the lad. The healer then turned to face where Thorin was hovering near the bed. "He is as fine as he can be, though there is still a way for him to go to recover. I will look at his wounds the next time I come."

"Thank you," Kili's uncle replied, his words sincere. The regal dwarf began to help gather up Oin's equipment, holding the door open for the healer. Shooting his nephew one final glance coupled with a twitch of the lips and a happy gleam in his eye, Thorin departed as well.

"I'm glad to see your eyes open," a feminine voice said as the door drifted shut. Dis stepped forward from where she had been watching in the corner, no longer having the need to hang back and let Oin finish his work.

Kili smiled at his mother, the calm aura that seemed to surround her slowly mingling with his own mind. His fingers fiddled with his brother's as Dis sat beside him, the female dwarf creating a sloping curve in the bed. She reached out a hand to brush against the cheek closest to her, eyes as blue as her eldest son's filled with the kind of love only a mother could possess.

"You will make me age before my time, which would be very unladylike," she told her youngest, ruffling his hair a little.

Kili just stretched one corner of his mouth further up, albeit not that much further for as far as moving went he seemed to be able to do very little. This did not worry him though. The youth was content to just lay there and allow his mother to coddle him as she always did whenever either he or his brother were hurt.

"Between you, your brother and your uncle I'm surprised that I look as young as I do." Dis spared a glance towards the elder brother, the crinkles at the corners of her eyes softening the words.

"I'm not the one that's always getting into trouble," Fili protested, taking up the challenge. "I'm the one that gets Kili out of it."

"Only after you get me into it," Kili responded, the words slow but clear.

His brother stared at him with indignity. "And how do I get you into it?"

"By putting ideas into my head," hummed back the younger dwarf. He was feeling lighter, not as weighed down by the pain. Whatever concoction of Oin's he had been given seemed to be working well.

"I have never done such a thing." Fili's blue eyes sparked with outraged denial. "Mother, tell him I have done no such thing."

Dis only shook her head. "Not intentionally perhaps, but half the wild ideas that got into your brother's head when he was younger were put there by you to begin with."

"What? No. That can't be right." Fili continued to splutter his way through another tide of words while his brother chortled at him from the bed.

The female in the room smiled at her sons' antics. "It is good to see you smiling," she said as she rested her hand on her youngest's forehead one last time.

Dis planted a kiss next to her hand, before leaning to plant another on Fili's cheek. She then stood and excused herself as she vacated the room to where her own brother seemed to be collecting something in the kitchen.

"I'm glad you're awake."

Kili switched his gaze from his mother's back to his brother's head.

"I was so…worried." It was clear Fili was trying to keep a hold of his emotions and not let them spiral out of control. "When you wouldn't wake it was…it was…"

"I'm awake now," Kili said giving his brother's hand a small squeeze. Then he yawned, his weakened state finally deciding enough was enough and that it needed to rest. "Don't leave me."

Fili shook his head. "Never, nadadith. Never."

* * *

><p><strong>So what do you think? The ending may have been a bit off, but I was up late last night writing it and just wanted to finish the thing. And don't worry, I've still got a little more angst to go before this is done. ;) <strong>


	38. Chapter 38

**Not as long as my other chapters but still meets the usual amount of words. ;) In any case, I hope you enjoy (even if it is a bit of a ****filler). **

* * *

><p>Dwalin stabbed at the boot in his hand, cleaning out the dirt that was packed in it's bottom with the tip of his knife. He had been putting off the job for a while now, but when he had considered the fact there was nothing better for him to make use of his time with the warrior had forced himself to sit and do what needed to be done.<p>

The confrontation near the woods the night before had left the tattooed dwarf to ponder his current take on the issue of Kili, an issue Dwalin's own brother seemed keen to allow him to ponder. No doubt the older dwarf was hoping he would come to the conclusion that he should visit the lad, but if he thought that he clearly did not know his brother.

The bulky dwarf let out a small grunt as his knife skidded across the sole of his boot, scraping a light line over the bland colour. He moved his fingertips further down away from the sole, the blade having come to close to the edges of his fingers for his liking. Then again a lot of things were going to close to the edge for his liking, Kili's life being one of them. Should the lad die Dwalin doubted if he would ever forgive himself.

But maybe Kili would forgive him instead.

Fili's words had sparked a small hope inside of the warrior, one he could not quench with fear or despair. The blonde dwarf had said that Kili would forgive him, and nobody knew Kili as well as his own brother did. What cause did the older of Thorin's two nephews have to lie in any case? None that Dwalin could think of and that in itself was a small comfort. Kili would forgive him. Perhaps. Yet that didn't mean the tattooed dwarf could remove himself the ravenous pit.

Dwalin knew without doubt that he had been responsible for what had happened. Besides the stone crushing and mind numbing guilt that came with this, it meant that there was no way the dwarf could ever be completely absolved from his mistakes. He should have been more vigilant, should not have frozen even if it were only for a moment of a moment. He could have prevented the attack by not taking the lad out with him in the first place, not before ensuring the area they would be hunting in was completely safe for the seventh time. There was nothing that could excuse these actions, even if the person they had caused harm to did.

Sighing to himself before filling up on the air around him yet again, Dwalin gave up on his boot and buried the knife in the first thin layer of wood on the table. His brother would not be happy, but the mark would barely stand tall over the length of the tip of his fingernail. It was nothing to worry over and it was just another wound to add to the already scarred face of the wood, wood that mimicked the scars on his own skin and each one was a story to tell.

There was the small line by his right thumb, white for the most part but purple in the cold. It was the earliest scar Dwalin could remember having, given to him by his own brother's rare stupidity. They had been mere dwarflings then, far younger than Kili was now. Balin had been showing his brother how to flick things with a knife when something had rattled the windows and Balin had dropped the weapon in surprise right above where Dwalin's thumb flowed into his hand. The edge of the blade had landed only a glancing blow, but the wound had allowed enough blood to flow from it to convince a young Dwalin he was dying.

Another, more solemn scar bore the memory of the day their father had passed on into the halls of Mahal, Dwalin having lost focus during sparing with another dwarf and landed himself in the care of a healer with a large gash running down the length of his upper arm.

Then there was his ear, or what was left of it, the other part lost somewhere in the grounds of Moria a long time ago. That day had been a black one, far blacker than the day where the sun had been blotted out by the fiery smoke of Smaug. Many good dwarves had died that day receiving a warrior's death reserved for the brave and the fearless. That day a ruler had fallen and another leader had risen in his place. That day was a king killer and a legend maker. That day was the day Dwalin had sworn to watch over the line of Durin and keep it safe no matter the personal cost to him.

Each scar from then onwards was a scar the dwarf had earned keeping true to his promise. Each scar was something to be proud of.

Kili would have his own scars to live with should he awaken, scars that would remind him of the horror that he had lived through. And those scars would be there because of Dwalin, a constant reminder of his mistake. The scars would never go away, and neither would the consequences of Dwalin's actions, the consequences of the attack. The lad would have nightmares no doubt, though ones far less horrific than the nightmares Dwalin had suffered after his first real battle and the nightmares that featured orcs and dragons slaying dwarfs like they were nothing.

"What's that knife doing in the table?" Balin's voice did not sound pleased.

Dwalin only rolled his shoulders backwards, both cracking as they swiveled in their joints.

"Well don't just sit there, get it out."

Letting his back hunch back over into a more relaxed position, Dwalin abided by his brother's words and reached one hand out to tug at the blade still embed in the table.

"Anyone would think you were raised by a wild animal."

"Not all of us are concerned about manners, brother," Dwalin replied.

"Well you should be," Balin told him, eyes narrowed in a reprimanding gaze.

Dwalin said nothing as he brother wandered past, giving one last withering look towards the younger dwarf before disappearing into his room that was filled with the various documents he poured over every night. The tattooed dwarf leaned back in his chair and flexed his fingers, staring at the blemish on his thumb for one last moment before replacing his knife back into the wood beside him.

_The lad will grow used to the scars. Hopefully._

* * *

><p><strong>Please review if you get the chance and would like to.<strong>


	39. Chapter 39

**And here is my weekly update (for when I do update weekly). I hope you enjoy it. **

* * *

><p>Just ambling along caught up in his own private thoughts was one of the things Bofur did best. That and drinking and making merry, but it was too early in the morning to do either of those things. Or at least that is what his brother and cousin would argue. Him, he didn't mind how early it was or allow the time of day to decree when he should be cheery. And why shouldn't he be cheery? His headache from the day before was gone and showed no signs of returning. That in itself was a miracle.<p>

This was the last day Bofur could let his store rest solely in Bifur's care. Already he had spent too long away from it in the past week, neglecting his duty as one of its owners. One more day would not hurt however, and the toymaker still had one delivery he had failed to make before.

Fisting his non-occupied hand, Bofur rapped on the wooden door before him, the surface hard and smooth. He tugged his hat more firmly over his head as he waited for one of the occupants in the house to answer.

"What can I do for you, Bofur?" Dis asked, a glow around her that had not been there before. The dwarf in question shifted slightly.

"Would you be able to give Kili this?" he asked holding out the object in his hand. He was uncertain whether or not he should go in, whether he _wanted _to go in. This indecision must have shown on his face because the next thing he saw was Dis pushing him inside with a gentle yet firm hand.

"You should give it to him yourself," she insisted. "Kili will want to see you if he is awake."

Bofur could not help but stop in utter shock. "He's awake?"

Dis nodded, the joy shinning in her eyes now making sense. "It was a little after Fili arrived home. He fell asleep soon after, but he is healing."

"That's great news," Bofur laughed, a large grin running rampant across his face. Had the dwarf in front of him been a male and of a lesser status then the toymaker would have been heartily slapping him on the back, as it was Dis was both female and of the line of Durin. This left Bofur with the option of clasping her hand in a sign of enthusiasm at the good news directly related to her youngest son.

"Still so proper?" Dis asked as she shook her head. Without so much as a warning she enveloped the toymaker in her arms, careful not to damage the gift for her son as she squeezed him once before letting go.

Bofur blinked once, the grin on his face slowly fading to a more normal level as he looked around the room. "Where's Thorin?"

"Gone on a patrol," Dis answer. "He left this morning and will not be back for most of the day." She frowned at the dwarf before her in good humor. "Now go and do what you came to do."

Bofur obeyed, feet moving jovially to the door that hid the youngest of the surviving descendants of Durin. The toymaker almost rapped his knuckles against the door a second time but decided against it least he should pull Kili or Fili from sleep. Quietly pushing the slab of wood open, he looked into the room and found his eyes meeting with blue ones identical to those of the female outside.

"He's asleep."

The statement was an obvious one, but Bofur thought nothing of it as he looked down on the peaceful form centered in the center of the bed. Though Kili's eyes were shut tight, his expression was one of peace and happy obliviousness to the world around him. Pain and sickness did not seem to radiate off him as it had before, a good sign if anything.

"You must be relieved," Bofur said, his gaze moving to the young dwarf's brother.

Fili laughed. "Relieved doesn't even begin to describe it." The blonde looked down fondly at his sibling. "I don't think there has ever been a time when I wanted his eyes to open more."

Bofur gave a reassuring smile. "Well he's healing now."

Fili closed his eyes for a moment. "And I am glad he is." There was a pause of silence before the blonde pulled back his eyelids and gave the toymaker a look. "What are you doing here?"

Bofur fingered the carven wood in his hand self-consciously. "To give your brother a gift I meant to give him before, well…." The dwarf trailed off, not sure what to say.

A different kind of silence filled the room, a bad one filled with unhappy memories and 'what ifs'. Bofur fiddle awkwardly in the soundless moments eventually resting his gift on the pillow beside Kili. The toymaker fiddled some more before looking up to Fili's approving and thankful eyes. A sudden thought struck him.

"Has Dwalin been to visit yet?"

Fili shook his head at the question. "Not since…the last time." It was clear the blonde still held some guilt over what had transpired upon his first meeting with Dwalin.

Bofur frowned but said nothing. There was nothing he could say to the younger dwarf that would change the mind of a certain tattooed warrior.

"Could you tell your brother that I came by and that I owe him a song or two?" the toymaker finally asked. When Fili nodded Bofur opened his mouth to voice his other request. "Do you also have parchment and something I can write with that I could borrow?"

Fili nodded a second time before getting up and exiting through the door.

Bofur waited patiently for the blonde dwarf to return, accepting the items with a flourish of his teeth. The toymaker could feel one particular blue gaze upon him, but he ignored it in favor of scribbling down his message.

"Thank you," the dwarf said finally as he stood and gave back the writing instrument to Fili. The latter creased his brow in confusion as Bofur exited but the older dwarf paid him no mind.

With a polite nod to the Lady Dis on his way into the open air, Bofur began his journey to the message he had created. Upon reaching the third door he had come across that was not his own. For a second time he made himself known loudly and for a second time he waited. When it was clear that no one would answer the dwarf bent over and slid the parchment under the door. Then he stood up and walked away, praying that his message would get through a certain thick skull.

Without meaning to, Bofur began humming. A bird on a roof nearby began to whistle the same tune. Kili was awake and the world was indeed looking up.

* * *

><p><strong>First up, only two more chapters to go. Secondly, I chose not to have Kili awake in Bofur's point of view only because he has interacted with him before and I have an idea for next chapter. <strong>

**In any case, please review. **


	40. Chapter 40

**Apologies for the somewhat poorly written chapter (I was sort of lost on what to write and how to write it), but I promise the next (and last) ****one will make up for it. In any case, enjoy anyway and I will try to get up the last chapter as soon as possible (and again, it WILL be better than this one, at least I hope so). **

**Sorry for the second update (if it comes up in your email as one), but I needed to fix a mistake pointed out to me. Again, sorry.**

* * *

><p>His hand brushed against something hard. Withdrawing his fingers Kili opened his eyes and stared ahead, taking in the foreign object that laid beside him. Without meaning to the brunette tweaked his lips as he extended his fingers once more.<p>

"Bofur left it when he came by," Fili said, answering the unspoken question in his brother's head.

Kili turned his brown gaze back to where the wooden bird sat perched in its immobile state. Its lifeless eyes followed his every movement not appearing lifeless in the slightest. The curve of its beak seemed to gleam in the natural light that was streaming into the room and, if Kili so desired, he could fancy that each breath of his ruffled the elongated feathers of the bird's wings and tail.

"Bofur also said that he owed you a song."

Kili looked back up to where his brother sat, unconsciously closing his hands around the wooden object in his lap protectively. He sent a small grin the older dwarfs way. "I'll be sure to take him up on that offer." When Fili's gaze did not lose its intensity the brunette allowed his lips to once again act as a shield for his teeth. "What?"

The blonde dwarf shook his head, shaking off the question with the rapid movement. "Nothing."

"Come on," Kili complained, a frown creasing his forehead. "I'm your brother. You never keep anything from me."

"Not that you know of," Fili replied, his demeanor suddenly changing, but before Kili could go along with the lighter mood his brother had returned to merely watching him with his own thoughts locked carefully behind his bright eyes.

Looking around their shared room, Kili scrounged his mind for something to say. What did one say after having been asleep for so long? What was the weather like? How's your sword practice going? None of them sounded right and the brunette was left grasping at nothing but air as he sought to end the silence.

"Where's 'amad?" It was a simple question, but Kili could think of nothing else to say besides pushing his brother to tell him what was on his mind. The young brunette did not want to push however, not when he knew his brother had already been through enough turmoil to cause him to almost black out. He still remembered the emotional words that had been spoken at his bedside while he was aware but unable to wake.

Whatever pain he had felt at the situation, Kili was sure it had affected his brother worse.

"I think she is lying down," Fili replied. "She was cleaning the house a while ago."

Kili smiled again, this time at the image of his mother vigorously scrubbing clean the table that they ate at. She was a determined character and once started would not stop until its surface could reflect the face of a single person a hundred times over. She was a hard worker, but never complained just like his uncle was.

"Where's uncle?"

Fili's face took on a grim satisfaction as he replied. "Out on a patrol."

Kili stroked his thumb absently along the smooth head of the wooden bird he had received. His flesh moved up and down with each of the fine grooves he came across, the sensation grounding Kili and taking his mind off the aches that had come with waking. He decided to try again with his brother. "What are you thinking?"

Fili blinked once then threw out one hand to rub across his brother's nearest one. "That I'm glad you're awake, glad that you're alive."

"Zâyungi zu, nadad," Kili replied, his eyes glowing warmly.

Fili's own eyes spoke volumes, but he only needed two words. "Me too."

The pair lapsed back into the silence of their own unspoken thoughts. A few grins were exchanged here and there, and a short bark of laughter was given as several jokes exchanged between wandering eyes, but for the most part Kili reveled in the peace of his own mind.

His brother, mother and uncle seemed to be merry in their proceedings despite what had happened and the unintended grief he had given them. Bofur too seemed fine from what Fili had told him of the toymaker, and despite the fact he had been ordered to remain in bed by Oin until such time as he was deemed 'fit' to walk again, the healer brought with him a calming aura and several witty quips. The despairing atmosphere that had descended upon him during his time of frustrating immobility was gone, banished a little further, it seemed, every time he opened his eyes.

Kili could not shake the feeling however, that someone was missing however, someone he had yet to see, yet to thank.

The young dwarf frowned as he thought back to the few times he had been truly awake. A multitude of words and faces swept over him, but there was one face that the young dwarf could not remember seeing. "Has Dwalin visited at all?"

For the briefest of movements it looked as though guilt had taken up residence in Fili's eyes before it disappeared, if it was even there in the first place, and the blonde replied to his brother's question. "I don't think he has had the chance to stop by yet."

"Oh." That was it, one word, the entire exterior response that Kili had to his brother's statement. Inside the healing dwarf's head however, his thoughts were jumping from one idea to the next.

He could not remember much from what had happened. Sure he could still picture the rage filled eyes of the brown furred monster that had attacked him, but what had transpired along with the fear and pain had been beyond his comprehension at the time. That wasn't to say the young dwarf was not aware of another, trusted dwarf suddenly appearing above him swinging an axe and bellowing like a berserker in battle.

Dwalin had saved his life. That much Kili was sure of. So what reason did the warrior have to refuse seeing him?

Closing his eyes as he rested his head back against the pillow, the brown haired dwarf allowed his mind's focus to be fully drawn to the rhythm of his thumb against carven wood. As he drew in a breath of air Kili smiled. If he were to speak the deepest truth that resided within him of that moment it would consist of one simple thought that he shared with his brother - he was glad he was alive.

* * *

><p><strong><span>TRANSLATIONS:<span>**

**_ 'amad_ – **_mother_

****_Zâyungi zu, nadad _**– **I love you_, brother. (thank you Marigold Faucet for pointing out my mistake in the phrase)._

**Before you ask, check out Dwarrow Scholar. As always, I had to adjust what I could find to the needs of the story. **

**On another note, please review if you think it is worth the time and energy to.**

**Guest reviewer for chapters 38 and 39 ( _:great chapter :) I loved Dwalin's introspection :) _****_could remove himself the ravenous pit? Is there a word missing there?_) : In response to your review for chapter 38 - there probably was a word missing, but I am not sure what it was. I will have to look it up in context. In any case, I am not sure if I usually use dwarves or dwarfs (it should be the former), but I do see what you are saying. It was probably a mistake or me not thinking when I am writing. In any case, glad you liked Dwalin's perspective. For chapter 39, I am glad you liked it as well. :) Yeah, it is. Alright then - I guess I'll have to live up to your expectations. ;)**


	41. Chapter 41

**First up, thanks to all followers, reviewers and readers. Seriously, I am extremely glad that you liked this story enough to give it over 500 reviews. You've really made me happy. :)**

**Secondly, yes this is the end. Not of the world (I hope) but of this story. In any case, I hope I did the end justice and lived up to any expectations that you had. And if I didn't I apologise in advance.**

**Thirdly, enjoy.**

* * *

><p>The words seemed to be blurred on the parchment for a reason that was not entirely unknown to the dwarf holding it. His hands shook involuntarily, yet there was a calm steadiness to his breath, or at least there would have been if it were not caught in the warrior's throat.<p>

_Kili is awake._

The simple three worded messaged scrawled across the page in handwriting only slightly worse than Dwalin's own had the dwarf unconsciously straightening his spine and lifting his shoulders. Who the message was from was not hard to determine, for Balin would have told him in person if his older brother were to tell him about the news instead of forcing him to see the young lad for answers. Besides Balin had a key to their shared house and would not have had to resort to sliding the parchment under the door.

Thorin was also not responsible, the dwarfish leader having left on a patrol before the message was delivered. The lady Dis joined her letters together and wrote with a far lighter touch than had been used to write the sentence. That put her too out of suspicion, leaving only two possible choices.

_Kili is awake._

Dwalin doubted Fili would have left his brother's side since the waking of the younger dwarf. Even if he had, the blonde dwarf would have spoken to him in person. That left only one name – Bofur.

The warrior smiled and shook his head.

Since Dwalin had come to know the cheerful toymaker he had learned that Bofur could not keep from medalling with a situation that he thought he could do something about. It was a trait that was both irritating and uncalled for and as Dwalin read the written words for a third time it was a trait that he was thankful for. Only now it presented him with a dilemma.

Kili was awake and judgment was imminent. The question was whether he faced that judgment like the warrior he was or wait until the judgment sought him out itself.

Looking back down at the parchment in his hands Dwalin sighed and closed his eyes. He knew he Bofur had not given him the message so that he knew that Kili was alive and healing, and that knowledge ruled out the second of his two options.

Glancing at the where a chunk of meat sat waiting by a knife and a cooking pot Dwalin rubbed his forehead. His brother would understand if the stew he had promised to make was not finished by the time he returned from whatever business it was he was conducting. The warrior was sure Balin would be overjoyed to hear the reason as to why he had not cooked dinner so much so that he would not worry about the broken promise. After all, the older dwarf had been pushing Dwalin to visit Kili for himself ever since he had managed to convince him not to hunt down the bear.

Mind made up the tattooed dwarf stood, a strange sense of queasiness forming in his stomach like it formed before a battle of which Dwalin was not sure he would return from. Closing his eyes and inhaling a breath that echoed through his chest the warrior closed his hand around the handle of the door and pulled, the force that ran through his arm causing the door to go flying towards him. Stepping out he released the air trapped within him and made for the place that housed the last of the line of Durin.

The sun of the late afternoon shone down on him enveloping his skin in a heated embrace similar to that of fires in the forge. The streets were busy, merchants trying to sell their wares, children chasing after dogs and folk in general moving to and from the markets, mines and forges. A large crowd was gathering around the road that led from the gates to the town and picking up on the excitement and astonishment in the air Dwalin paused a moment to view the spectacle.

The familiar faces that were being surrounded by curious eyes and poorly executed whispers were clearly just returning from a patrol. Thorin, whom the warrior knew had gone with the company of guards, was absent, most likely attending to certain duties back at the gates. Had he been present however, the dwarfish leader's demanding presence would have been engulfed by that of the dead creature the guards were doing their best to haul along the ground.

A vicious satisfaction crept up on Dwalin as he turned from the sight to continue on his way. The beast was dead and though he had not stuck the killing blow himself the warrior could sleep easier knowing that Kili had, in some way, been avenged. The joyous thoughts did not last for long though and soon the tall dwarf found himself again entertaining the same queasiness from before.

To say he was afraid would be a lie, but to say that he was utterly free from both nerves and fear would also fall far from the truth. Dwalin was a fighter however, and he would not be cowed by such thoughts, at least not outwardly. Inwardly the dwarf was doubting his decision with every footfall that drew him closer to the dreaded sickroom. He clenched and unclenched his fists, taking to counting the number of steps he had taken. Indeed the warrior had been so focused on his task that he almost failed to notice the large door that had suddenly loomed up before him.

In Dwalin's honest opinion, the wooden door had the look of a dragon that was preparing to eat him.

_Kili is awake._

The warrior closed his eyes. No matter how much Dwalin wanted to run, he could not hide any longer nor could he delay what needed to happen. So he lifted his hand to knock and knock he did, the thud vibrating the wood it traveled through.

"Dwalin." Dis' voice was full of surprise as she opened the door.

The named dwarf gave a small nod in response.

"Please, come in," the lady in front of him urged, her strong arms ushering the burly warrior inside the door. Looking up to where Dwalin's eyes were Dis smiled. "I take it you are here to see Kili?"

Again the dwarf in question nodded, grunting slightly as he did so. Dwalin's eyes scanned the room unaware that he was beginning to hunch in on himself at the prospect of who he was about to face. He moved towards the door that the one whom he had come to see laid behind after an affirmation from Dis he would be disturbing nothing when he entered.

Dwalin stopped short at the wooden barrier, taking a moment to collect himself. He itched at his beard for a moment before attempting to straighten his shoulders. Then he reached out and grabbed the thing that would allow him access to the room just beyond him. Drawing in a breath the warrior tensed his muscles and pushed.

As Dwalin made his way through the door Fili swung his head around to meet the older dwarf's gaze. The blonde gave a reassuring smile before turning his blue eyes back to his brother who was allowing the last sounds of a dying laugh to escape his lips. The young dwarf too turned his head towards the interruption, face falling into a mask of impassiveness as he did so.

Dwalin froze as those brown eyes found him. They took a moment studying him in a sort of hidden confusion before drawing their conclusions. Slowly, ever so painstakingly slow, they smiled, a naïve innocence and knowledge shinning in their depths. The warrior took in a sharp and silent breath as the youth's mouth opened and he heard Kili speak for the first time since the screaming.

"I forgive you."

Dwalin barely stopped himself from closing his eyes and deflating in relief. As it was, he could not stop himself from smiling in reply and nodding his head in a gesture of thanks to the younger dwarf. It was as if the great weight that had been slowly crushing him beneath layers of guilt and, fear, worry and shame was finally being lifted and the flame of despair had been at long last snuffed out.

_I forgive you._

Those three words were all he had needed to hear.

* * *

><p><strong> - END -<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>With the ending, I only really needed that one brief moment so yeah, I decided against an extensive scene between Dwalin and Kili. Just in case you were wondering or are mad that they didn't have a longer conversation.<strong>

**So, this is the end (of this story). Again thanks for sticking around to actually read this from beginning to this point right here and I hope that for the most part you found it an alright story. In case you're wondering about if I am going to write any more stories I have another multi-chapter story that might potentially be in the works (probably in a little while - I am busy at the moment) and several one shots for this fandom. I am also happy to accept prompts for one - two shots so long as there are no OCs or romance (although I do have the right to politely reject your prompt if I see fit). In any case, please review the final chapter for 'Between a Bear and a Dark Place'. You can leave me constructive criticism if you want but please no flames. I'm not fireproof.**


End file.
